Is it a red flag when a guy seems to fall for someone quickly after just meeting?

I ask this because I see this with both men and women when they first start dating. I know couples where they fall for each other quickly and it works out. However, I see couples where it fades out quickly because the eagerness may be just desperation or some other motivating factor. So what about early persistence from guys?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. It's an individual situation thing
    2. Can't generalize or create a thumb rule for these things
    3. I fell for this girl I love the moment she said 'I love you' to me on the first date and have been in love with her ever since even though we aren't together
    4. Chemistry is something that happens in an instant w/o prior thought
    5. Doesn't mean that it will necessarily fade
    6. Guys who are persistent can well be those who are chasers which is again common in men. Once they have acquired their target their interest wanes. This is a flip side for those girls who love to tease and keep them hanging to create more urge for the guy. If he turns out to be a chaser then he won't even realize that he's just fulfilling his natural urge of hunting. In which case can't blame him alone for losing interest. Ofcourse there are girls that way too :)

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    • Ahh! The psychology of men... and of men and women.

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    • Got it... experience!

    • Absolutely :D :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • not necessarily; it depends on the guy.

    when i met my boyfriend, it was love at first sight. our date was magical, and he confessed at the end of the night that "i've never had to hold back those words on a first date before, and you know the ones i mean".

    i don't fall easily, but i could tell that he was being sincere. some days later, he did say them... though i told him that i'd just stick to feeling them, since i wasn't comfortable saying them (it had been 2 years since i'd uttered those words, and even longer since i'd meant them). but he was okay with it and said that i didn't have to say it back if i didn't want to.

    about a week later, he had offered to pick me up from work. so i called him up, and he agreed to come and get me~ when he said "i love you" at the end of the call, i replied with "i love you too, babe".

    (a nearby friend was like, hey von, did you just? and i was like... well, yeah, i guess i did. and the rest, as they say, is history.) <3

    -

    every guy is different, though i can usually tell a well-intentioned guy like mine from a creepy weirdo. if he's controlling, or smothers you, then run as far away as you can.

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    • Nice story! My Mom first noticed my Dad at work. He was the new guy. She went over to one of her coworkers, and started talking about him. She told her coworker, see that guy... I'm going to marry him. Four months later they got married. They've been married for over 40 years now. Sometimes, ya just know!

    • aww, that's awesome~ so glad everything worked out for your parents. it's nice hearing non-creepy stories about couples who made it. :)

      (reminds me of my mom's second marriage; my biological parents separated when i was 8, and my mom started taking a computer course~ my (now-step) dad was in her class and, when she met him, she was like, "he's the one". they've been married 15 years now, and he's still as good to her as the day they met)

      growing up, i used to be like, "i hope that, when i'm older, i find a guy who treats me like dad treats mom"... and i've found him. smiley face. <3

    • I love happy endings!

What Guys Said 18

  • It's an indicator of scarcity: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22231-scarcity-fundamental-setback-in-dating

    It's bad for the person who is a victim of scarcity him or herself. It can be bad for the other person too since if the relationship is build on desperation and the "settling mentality" as I discuss in the myTake I linked above, then that's almost guaranteed relationship failure.

    However, that's not always the case and therefore, it's not a serious issue for the other person, but for the person suffering from scarcity themselves, yes they're going to have a hard time, simply because a lot of people do see it as a red flag and do get put-off by that.

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  • There has to be some connection to begin with, but too much too soon is a turn off. My current girlfriend and I really didn't hit our stride until we were 6-8 months in and even then there weren't any iluvu's going round, but there was always an underlying attraction.

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  • Don't read to much into it, it means nothing but them acting out how they think they feel, and sometimes they really are being honest. Don't let it scare you, just see how everything pans out before committing anything serious, x

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    • Good advice! Smart & sensible.

  • I say that it definitely is not a red flag. There are some people that I am interested in dating the second I see them. It's something about their looks, how they carry themselves, and how they talk to people.

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    • Means you are a whore for love and can fall in love with practically anyone.

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    • @Azara thank you for getting my point. .

    • Agreed. Sometimes... you just know instantly!

  • I never pressure any woman ( girl) to date me, i let things go with the flow to see where they go i believe no female should be placed under pressure yes it is red flags but if couple fall in love quickly as long as it's not just based for sex than it's good but if they both fall quickly for one another and if it's just for sex than it's bad and persistence guys may just want sex that is what it seems like to me or am i missing something?

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  • I am an ENFP personality-type, which means I get attached quickly. When I find someone I like, I spend most of my time trying to calm the fuck down and play it cool.

    Put two ENFPs together and you have a nuclear explosion.

    It does not mean we are not gonna make it together; it means it will be like the fire of a 1,000 suns at first and then it will cool down a bit but it might still work :)

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    • welllll I need to meet me an ENFP then! I'm an ESTP so we aren't completely different :)

  • Not necessarily. definitely not always.
    Sounds like you almost answer your own question. Don't forget, some guys are better and easier matches for mates than others. (Same with girls) And some are putting out tenatious efforts the get hooked up... wheather for the right reasons or not.

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  • Sometimes thinks just click right away

    Sometimes it's more the physical drive that's created the so called chemistry

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  • What if its one of someones first dates or the first time they have connected with another person romantically? Are they just deemed desperate then, even if the feelings are legitimate?

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  • Well for me if I like the girl I like her, if I don't I could care less so I fall quicker.

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    • I guess you can call that chemistry!

    • Haha what I mean is that. It shouldn't be a bad thing if he falls quick. If he is watching you outside of your house, that's a red flag. If he is already telling your friends you guys are thinking about making any sort of commitment then yes.

  • You are a little old to be asking this question, are you not?

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    • Of course not. Your assumption is that because I'm older I've had a lot of dating experience. On the contrary, my friend. We're all different.

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    • @walterradio I personally have a gripe against anybody at any age saying "you are a little old for this question or gag or whatever" like you know all the answers? Or are you one of those close minded people who follow somebody else's script of life that says once you at an age, this stuff isn't important? Like tell me where you coming from?

    • Yeah just answer questions if you have something to say. Leave judgement out if it. There's nothing illuminating about that.

      :)

  • NO, men are designed to be visual. We aren't WOMEN.

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  • Yes, it definitely is. It could mean they're trying to fill a void.

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  • balance and mutual...

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  • I've been this way, should be fixed now.

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  • If your not rich it's fine

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  • maybe he is a virgin?

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  • Only if you believe people can't fall fast

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What Girls Said 8

  • You've kind of explained it exactly in your question. Depends on the people. Some people just click and others don't. It's life.

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  • Some people just are blown away by a person it doesn't mean it won't work. I think when it cools down quick it's not bc there were intense feelings but intense gaming. People who just want the chase will lose feeling whatever they felt bc it's never about the person. But you can feel intensely genuine quickly and for along time.

    If someone is taken with you quickly just get to I will them give them a chance like you would with anyone... Just don't do anything you're nit ready fro. Like with anything else:)

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  • Everyone is different, that's the main thing to keep in mind, in my personal experience, I know that when things happen too fast that the excitement that was once there begins to fade out rapidly, sometimes it might not even be on your behalf and it could be on theirs, but all great things take time.

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  • It depends. If he's desperate it will show in other things too. If they fall shortly after you first met because he really likes her he'll be respectful of the girl's time.

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  • It's kind of is a red flag

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  • It's a red flag because of the guy most likely just wants sex and he is lonely but wants he snaps out of it he will cut you off.

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  • its a red flag!

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    • Too strong, too soon is scary. But on the first date... I need to feel somehow connected, otherwise, I'm not interested in a second date.

  • No I don't think so at all. However if he's controlling then that's a red flag.

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