Should I travel to him for the first meet? Need answers?

Gonna make this short and snappy.
I've been talking to this guy, we get along great and planning to meet up. But we live like 50 miles apart.
Isit okay if i go to him or if he comes to me? Or we meet in the middle?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe if you decide to meet him in no means meet him alone
    make sure you have someone with you cause it poses a high risk
    i don't care if you talked to the guy over Skype face to face you
    can't never be too careful when meeting someone.
    1.) If they ask for money by any means them are red flags
    2.) If they want meet at night by any means ask why can't
    we meet in the day which is good thing not night time?
    3.) If he wants to come to you to meet take him up on it
    but by all means don't meet him alone
    4.) Watch what language he uses and how
    he carry's himself cause that does tell lot too.
    5.) Never leave any food or drink than walk away
    to use the restrooms very high risk taking
    Best wishes on this and hope it works out if you should
    meet the guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Meet in the middle and do it in public.

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    • This. If he's unwilling to do this, then he's not worth the effort (that he's not putting in).

What Guys Said 23

  • Are you sure he's not a rapist?

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  • Make him come to you for the first time.

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  • You are only 50 miles. I have traveled farther than that to get a hamburger; and 1,200 miles just for a date.

    You should balance time and financial resources to decide where to meet. Unless it is close to you, a gentleman will ALWAYS pay for the lady's transportation costs. This is a test, he should do it without your asking. If he doesn't, then dump him and find someone else.

    And of course you know if meeting someone for the first time to do so in a public place.

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    • Agreed. Totally.

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    • @MarZar
      That is probably why I, at almost twice your age, date women less than your age.

      I always ask on the first date, "Why do you like older men?" The number one answer is "Because older men don't expect me to pay." Like taking candy (college girls) from a baby (guys like you who won't pay her way).

    • @WalterRadio Congratulations! I'm happy to hear that you have success, no kidding! I don't know you so can't tell if they are using you, you are using them or its mutual. What I can say is I'm an active couch surfing host in my community. I let strangers eat my food, sleep on my couch and I spend money on them without asking for anything in return. However, I will NEVER pay for a girl just because she is a girl! I do get my share of girls of your age, my age and younger not with my wallet but with my wit and maturity. Once again keep on doing what works best for you!

  • Meeting in the middle and in public is by far the best choice. It's the only really safe choice. You really don't want to be going over someone's house the first time you meet someone from the internet offline. What if he's some dangerous criminal in disguise? The first time you're meeting someone from the internet in real life, it should always be in a public place. This clears up any safety issues and also etiquette-wise, it's also the most sound choice (since you are just starting to date).

    And of course you should meet about half-way because that's only fair, especially for just a "first meet".

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    • Im not going to his place, i would be in a public place.

  • If it's easier and more manageable for you to go to him then do it or vice versa if it's easier for him. If it's equal for you both and there's a nice place to hang out between your two houses I'd say go there. You can explore the unknown place together.

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  • Meet somewhere in the middle, it puts you both on natural ground.

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  • If this is the first time you're meeting, then for safety's sake you should meet some place neutral.

    It seems a nice gesture on both your parts if you were to meet somewhere half way.

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  • Better to have him come to you or meet in the middle. Meeting in the middle is best coz then if you don't get on you can leave and drive home. make sure someone knows who and where you are meeting and arrange some safety texts or something.

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  • 50 miles -.- seriously... Hun, that isn't LDR. LDR is 7800 miles. Like my girlfriend. Yours is walking distance.

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  • Meeting in the middle is fair. It means you both have to put some effort into seeing each other.

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  • I did this a few times... same situation as you and every time i went to go see her

    Once we did split the cost since i had to fly out... but i made the effort

    I think he should come to you... splitting the cost ok.. but he should come to you

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  • @cinderelli have u decided yet babe?

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  • tell him to come meet you or any middle place will do, meet him at a public place... lot of psychos out there

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  • I would say let him come to you.

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  • I think meet in the middle; it's only fairest.

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  • Somewhere in the middle.

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  • Middle straight up for first time

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  • a smart earthling would meet in the middle with a friend just in case.

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  • doesn't matter ! see what he wants and if you don't like that plan let him know

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  • What's wrong in it?

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  • Meet somewhere near you like subway

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  • meet in the middle and go on aa dinner date.

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  • Yup... then after you meet you won't want to see him again... lol. I see this happen often.

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What Girls Said 14

  • It's whatever you two work out. You could go to him, he to you, but I think it would be easier for you two to meet half way and shack up there.

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  • I live several hours from my boyfriend and I always go to him. We just both like his city better than mine. And I didn't have any safety concerns to manage at that first date. I've gotten the advice that a chivalrous man will always do the traveling at least at first, but I wasn't that concerned with his chivalry.

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  • I went all the way to my boyfriend's house the first time, but I had someone with me (my stepdad) just in case. Be safe. Hope the best for you <3

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  • He should be a gentleman and come to YOU. If he doesn't agree then halfway should be better.
    Good luck dear x

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  • I'm actually meeting someone aswell. And I'm planning to go to him. I guess its just what works best for the both of you

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  • Meet him in the middle, therefore it's fair to you both

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  • Meet in the middle. Make plans to meet in the same destination.

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  • Best is him go to you! good luck!(:

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  • Meet in the middle on neutral territory

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  • meet in the middle...

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  • Meet in the middle! Best option for both of you.

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  • He comes to you , your the woman

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  • Meet in a public place, I would say in your area/city/town, but in a different neighborhood of where you study/work/live.
    Why? Again, safety reasons. Halfway you can be followed, be exposed to accidents, God knows. Save halfway for latter once you guys are in a relationship. Let him be the man, and come to you. If he cares, he will show up and not be concerned about fairness or going halfway now... it's the same concept of going halves on a first date... let him show how he cares about you

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  • meet in the middle.

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