Is there no point in being a "good guy" with a girl I like?

I have an impression that if I am tolerant, helpful, polite etc it rather makes me an 'easy' boyfriend rather than what I want to be like, and she will eventually act cold with me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • u and i both know that's not true =] i know ur a good guy. ur not gonna give up on who u r.
    be patient. i really need to lecture all u men about patience one day i swear.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with your thinking. Girls like a challenge. You don't have to be a douchebag, just be yourself. That will be challenging enough.

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What Girls Said 2

  • There's nothing wrong with being "tolerant, helpful, and polite." No girl goes "oh tom, he's great, but... ew... he's like... not an intolerant, useless, rude bastard..."

    Don't be a push over. Don't confuse being a push over with being nice. If a girl loses interest then it isn't bc you're nice.

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  • @AngryHorny Has a point. Don't be too docile. Be kind but also show her you're a man. =)

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    • That last part is really subjective. Did not understand instructions; showed her my d.

    • Show All
    • You know where most guys really fail at opening jars? Not removing their shirts and really putting their abs into the twisting the lid.

    • @Gommers Haha you're nuts. :P

What Guys Said 3

  • Remember, there is a difference between being a nice guy and a good guy. The nice guy usually does back flips just to impress the girl. Nice guys don't want to offend the girl and seem to tip toe around hoping the gain that acceptance from the girl trying to avoid being tossed away. But then there is the good guy. He is someone who stands up for his own values and is respected for those choices. Girls see that power and confidence, knowing a good guy is still polite and curious while at the same time of not being thrown around of the whims of their choices. People (not just girls) take things for granted when they know they can. It's a terrible habit of people to do that, hence why people cheat, or throw good things away. Women are no different and if you let them, playing easy is bad. Don't misunderstand me, be accommodating but firm as a person. You are not a charity case and no woman should or will date you out of pity. If she acts cold towards you, that's her own problem. But don't be anything other than yourself. The better and possibly best version of yourself, but still remember that you are human and so is she.

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  • Don't put up an act, don't be super sweet or super douchy. Kick her in the balls when she deserves it but also do things more regularly that show her that you care while making them feel like you're doing them without thinking about it. Women hate that cold calculated shit, if you have a plan I can promise that it's gonna end bad.

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  • You want to be a respectful and polite guy who is also confident and doesn't take anybody's crap. James Bond and Steve McQueen are two examples who come to mind.

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