Far way from family? or stay in hometown?

i currently live in my hometown which is pretty village and not something i like living in. I want to move to abigger city (we are talking about almost up to a million everyday people). I have no family or friends over there but the city is fun and so multi cultural... there are more chances there for schools and jobs and its located close to the capital city... go or stay with family? i dont have fam besides my bro, sis and mother here in this country...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is something lots of people go through, including myself. It's not necessarily about moving from a small town to a big city, but about moving away from family regardless of the size of town.

    With people I've known, it's very common for people to move away and then later move back. That is NOT saying that moving was a mistake. Although that's sometimes the case. This is largely age related. The age of yourself, and the age of your parents.

    When you are young, it makes more sense to move away for several reasons. When you are young, you are more adventurous and more energetic. You have more desire to explore the world outside of the place where you grew up. You are young and have lots of time to experience different places, jobs, lifestyles, etc. If something doesn’t work out the way you planned, there is still tons of time to change directions.

    You might get lucky on your first try, and find a place you love and want to stay for your entire life. It might take several tries before you find that ideal location. Or you might not find it at all. You might discover that even though location matters, there are other things to consider.

    There are a few main reasons people move back home later in life. They might decide they just don't like where they moved to, for whatever reason. That might be the physical location, the people, job market, climate or anything else. They might spend time experiencing the world, and once that's out of their system they begin to appreciate their roots more.

    One of the more common reasons for moving back home is aging parents. We might only see family once a year or less. When we see our parents less often, we notice them aging more, since there is more contrast since the last time we saw them. That can become bothersome to some people. We realize that our time with them is limited.

    As we get older, our relationship with parents naturally changes. We have spent time on our own, making our own decisions. Our parents have let us go, as all parents must. That changes things to a more adult-adult relationship, rather than parent-child relationship. We may want to experience that new relationship more than just one week a year. Or we simply realize that they won't be around forever and don't want to lose the chance.

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    • Personally I feel that if you move away, it's better to do it while still youngish. You have more time to find your own personal heaven. Also, if you have itchy feet and a strong desire to see more of the world, that feeling may not go away. It might eat at you for years, wondering what you are missing.

      On the other hand, moving when you are young means cutting ties with friends and classmates. It's normal to lose track of friends and classmates after school, but it's a lot more common if you move away.

      The thing to remember is that you have lots of time to see the world. If you move, it doesn't have to be permanent. I moved LOTS of times between my early 20s and early 40s. I did move back home as my parents got older. I'm glad I did all the moving, no regrets at all. I'm also very glad I moved back home to experience the last 4-5 years with my parents before they passed away. As I got older I became less adventurous. So the timing worked out just fine.

    • As Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz "There's no place like home. There's no place like home." But if Dorothy had never experience Oz, would she still be Dorothy? Or would she still keep dreaming of far off lands, always feeling like something is missing? Oz fulfilled her life. It made her whole. Then she knew who she was.

What Guys Said 2

  • I love cities, and lived in a few different ones for years... soon moved home though, my dad had took ill at home which was something i'd never even thought about and I felt like i'd been wasting valuable time with my family. Yeah I had a well paying job and job security, but I didn't even enjoy it and the money made me feel no different. I was happy to take a pay cut and live close to home and i'm still a lot happier now. Maybe in the future when i'm on my own i'd consider moving back to a city, although i'd say i'll probably not be amazingly far from here even if I do.

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    • i dont get it... you fell more happy or less?

    • I feel more happy now that i'm back home and felt a lot less happy when I was away...

  • depends how you feel about it. i grew up in a small town, i went away for college and recently graduated and came back home (for now)... and i hate it. it's boring, it gets cold and the people suck. i'm fine with moving to another city by myself. yeah, it gets lonely, but after 4 weeks, you sort of get lonely and you kinda get over it after week 7 or 8. i also don't know how you feel about cities. i hate most cities, but there some that i like.

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