What is your deal breaker?

So.. what's that one thing that will make you refuse to date someone, even if they look good.

What is it that makes you change your mind entirely about wanting to be with them?

Updates:
Or say- What are your deal breakers*

Mine is-
If the guy smokes.
If the guy have no ambition.
If he is rude to others, (can't stand people who talks rudely to waiters).
If Isn't hygienic.
If he doesn't like children.
Lies often. And few other things, lol.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • *cracks fingers* Okay folks, I'm going to upset/offend a lot of you.
    Deal breaker for Ex, even if she's beautiful :-
    Ignorant, Conceited, Bigot, Psycho, Bad-tempered, Callous, Beastly, Bossy, Deceptive, Pretentious, Arrogant, Aloof, Bone-idle, Zany, Wicked, Vengeful, Hypocritical, Irresponsible, Cantankerous, Unimaginative, Mundane, Superstitious, Suspicious, Impolite, Clinging, Compulsive, Stubborn, Impulsive, Cynical, Repugnant, Possessive, Obnoxious, Murderous, Materialistic, Gullible, Dogmatic, Coward, Nasty, Criminal, Thief, Kidnapper, Drug-Addict, Drug-Dealer, Slut, Obese, Smelly, Dirty, Unhealthy, Pedophile, Cheater, Child-hater, Misogamist, Hates my parents/games/career/hairstyle/dogs/favorite music or anime and Abusive.

    You might think that I wrote every bad characteristic of humans but that's not the case. There are some bad qualities which I'll forgive :-
    ☻Lies - Sometimes, lies are very necessary. They can save relationships, careers and even lives. I don't want my girl to be a liar. I want her to be honest but not too-honest. If a person is too-honest, he/she is jeopardizing ones career. She can lie to me to grab some money which she deserves, for our child, my own health, mental stability etc. Hope you got my sense (Note: I mentioned deception in bad qualities)
    ☻Self-Pitying / Fragile / Submissive / Meek - Sometimes, girls tend to be so soft and over sensitive. But what I am here for :) I'll give her support.
    ☻Listens too much of heart - Personally, I don't like such people. I'm very logical. For me, heart just pumps blood, nothing else. In that case, I need someone who can fill that void in my life.
    ☻Poor - Some guys don't like such girls but I'm rich enough to make her a queen.
    ☻Unemployed - If she doesn't have such characteristics which I mentioned in the first para, she can find job anywhere, anytime, anyplace.

    I have so much to say but I think I am going way too overboard and my fingers are burning :D

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    • Omg, that's a pretty big list, lol. Thank you for answering :)

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    • You know what, as long as the girl is nice and does not have any ill-intentions, I'd pardon any misbehaviour and ditch any prerequisite because... you know... love is blind 🙈

    • True!! Haha :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Too many :/ some of em are..

    • If he smokes constantly. Sorry but that's a big nono, god knows when it'd trigger my asthma.
    • If he does drugs. Sorry but a no again.
    • If he's unhygienic or has bad hygiene. Tho I'm considered quite a messy person, I'd still take care of my hygienes.
    • If he doesn't like kids. Eh I'd love to have kids someday, so it'd definitely be a deal breaker for me.
    • If he isn't adventurous or isn't open minded enough to try new things.
    • If he thinks that guys are superior than ladies. Just N-O.
    • If he's racist, homophobic, sexist etc.
    • If he's inconsiderate and doesn't care about others' feelings.
    • If he's rude to others.
    • If he always take his anger out on me or someone else.

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    • Do you think people who aren't much into the hellspawn banshees of others would be able to love their own children as they are their own?

    • That's a pretty long list :p lol jk. Thank you for answering :)

What Guys Said 53

  • Not liking pizza

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  • if she's a patronizing fucking condescending entitled smart ass little shit.

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  • 1. Hygiene
    2. Crappy behavior, no finesse
    3. Too loud (not in the bed part - I love that :D <3 )
    4. Doesn't tend to or take care of herself
    5. Too clingy and too many fixations / expectations

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    • Clingy people are annoying, yeah :/
      Thank you for answering!

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    • You are inherently businessman. It's impossible to persuade you :D

    • @YourFutureEx - I am VERY happy when someone does persuade me cause it means that I have overlooked something or learnt something new :) <3

  • I won't date someone who IS NOT
    honest or monogamous

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  • Here are my deal breakers lol you know this is going to be funny so buckle up cow girl ;P
    1. doesn't like Lucky charms cereal
    2. is a murderer
    3. A thief
    4. drinks alcohol
    5. smokes cigarettes marijuana is okay though
    6. Doesn't like video games
    7. Doesn't like cartoons
    8. is physically abusive
    9. Verbally abusive
    10. Doesn't have a perfect tooth to gum ration her tooth to gum ration has to be perfect
    11. Has to have at least 11 years of snow plow experience
    12. If she can't fight a pigeon while hugging her uncleeny and she has to agree that uncleeny and auntaleeny is a real word
    13. If her farts usually smell bad they have to at least sometimes smell good to me
    14. If she doesn't know to to break flower seeds the right way with her teeth
    15. Doesn't believe my Alien stories
    16. If she doesn't let me see an x-ray picture of both of her lungs I need to see how colorful her lungs are
    17. Doesn't like dogs
    18. And when we have kids their names have to be Keemya, Lalafanda, and Bill
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TErlkUyHY5c
    19. Can't be a murderer
    20 And can't plant lemons in our backyard.

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    • OMG, LMHO!! That guy in video is such a lervert! LOL!
      Hey wait
      "12. If she can't fight a pigeon while hugging her uncleeny and she has to agree that uncleeny and auntaleeny is a real word

      14. If she doesn't know to to break flower seeds the right way with her teeth"

      Whaaaat O__O lol

    • Lol yeah he is :P

  • - They smoke
    - They do drugs
    - Likes drinking alcohol way too much on a way too regular basis
    - They're into religions or weird spiritual stuff (the girl in the other room is all about "energy flow and the effects of the solar eclipse on people and claims she is a witch and talks about hexes" and stuff)
    - They're not biologically female
    - They're asexual
    - They like Justin Bieber
    - They like 50 Shades of Grey
    - They can't speak English at all
    - They have an incurable contagious condition (for example, STDs or oral herpes)
    - They're aren't intelligent enough (you should at least finish high school! Higher education is a plus, the state pays for it here so I'm pretty sure you can finish it!)
    - If they're just generally unlikeable as a person
    - If they quite obviously seem to dislike me or are just generally uninterested in dating me

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    • I should have also added what would have ruled out my brother's ex for me:
      - Way too emotionally unstable
      - Terrible at conflict resolution, and does the "silent treatment", especially on a regular basis
      - Gets offended over every little thing

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    • Now I really want to hug a Pomeranian dog; x)
      Well, thank you for answering!

    • Lol the justin bieber one lmao

  • If the girl smokes or uses drugs.
    If the girl is too passive/submissive/shy.
    If she is overly religious
    If she is selfish, stupid and self-centered
    If she is stuck up, conservative and old-fashioned

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  • They smoke
    They don't like Orbison
    They always wear too much makeup
    They believe men haft to be 100% masculine 100% of the time
    They always criticize and make fun of others
    The don't like Roy
    They lack hygiene
    They always take everything seriously and take a joke
    They think cartoon's are only for kids
    They don't like video games
    They don't like The Big O
    Did I mention they don't like Roy Orbison

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  • You have a good list of deal breakers.

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    • Then tell me pleaseeeee!! ;o

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    • Sorry about the caps. My finger caught the lock and I didn't notice.

    • Tickling... LMHO xD

  • Mine is :
    Girl would say to me "Would you f*ck me"?
    i much rather she say , lets mess around
    lets do it. etc
    Girl who has too much of vulgar mouth
    a real turn off
    Girl who uses drugs or drinks alcohol

    Girl who smokes can be turn off

    Girl who lacks to show affection,
    love, caring , giving

    She dislikes children
    or a drama Queen

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  • When the person is very selfish, brutal, feeling more important than others,...
    Let's say all properties that do not correspond to being a nice girl :D
    Apart from that, when there is a click, I'm open to many things and I don't mind about a few weak points - we all have those :D

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  • Unhygienic
    Does not show any affection to me (I don't care if that's petty, I am a very affectionate person and I expect the same treatment)
    Unfaithful
    Controlling
    Rude to others (especially to my mother and brother)
    Smokes cigarettes
    Drinks excessively
    Hates kids and/or doesn't want any (my biggest dealbreaker)

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    • Everyone craves affection.. so, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. haha :) Thank you for answering!

  • I know it sounds depraved, but if she doesn't like anal I can't really live with that. I have a butt fetish. I wouldn't want it every night - just like once or twice a week would be ideal. But I don't want her to merely tolerate it - I need her to like it.

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  • I'm not a very good communicator so I think that I'd need someone who can communicate with me when something is really bothering them. Maybe someone like that could bring me out of my shell a bit.

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    • One of my close friend is kind of like you. He likes someone who's expressive and initiate conversation. He prefers to dates only extroverts..:)
      Well, Thank you for answering!

    • Yeah that does sound like me.
      You're welcome!

  • - Smokes
    - Drugs
    - Alcoholic
    - Loud
    - Too dependent
    - Needs constant attention
    - 'Very' religious
    - 0 in English
    - No sense of humour
    - Too much gossip
    - Unintelligent
    - Whiny
    - Doesn't understand introversion
    - Controlling
    - Doesn't like kids
    - Doesn't respect my interests
    - Has problems with me having a female best friend...

    ... and list is getting longer after every few seconds so I stop here :P

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    • List is getting longer? D: Lol! Wow 😂😂
      Thank you for answering, Res :)

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    • Not really. First two times I wasn't addicted. Each time I needed to ask something confusing. I've to admit, this time it is more addictive :P

  • if she's always negative and never lets me have fun or even tries having fun with me , and if she talks to/has lots of guy friends or a lot of BFs or slutty past, sorry but coming from a small town where everyone knows everything its not quite an ideal situation , now having one or BFs and just kissing is fine but more is a no no

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  • Smoking
    Excessive drinking
    Uses any form of recreational drugs
    Has a shitty personality especially if she sees her looks as everything and treats others poorly
    Is vegetarian or vegan
    Is religious
    Is racist and/or bigoted
    Expects me to pay for her
    Is depressing or depressed
    Is shy, I need an outgoing girl but not too much
    Lies
    And everyone seems to have this one, is unhygienic

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    • I should have added racist and drugs in my deal breakers list! Haha :) Thank you for answering!

  • Having a completely different belief system than mine and being completely intolerant to anything else.
    Some other stuff that might be superficial too like smoking (I quit it years ago so I'd prefer that out of my life), parties a lot, arrogant/self-entitled, doesn't take her of herself (being fat, bad hygiene), has kids (can't deal with that), and often I get turned off when I realize the type of douche-bags she is attracted to or based on her exes.

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  • Considering they look good as you said, then a girl who smokes is my number 1 deal breaker. It tells me a lot about someone. She is probably not taking care of her health, she has a weak mind and is easily pressured into things she doesn't like, and she is spending a lot of money on stuff she doesn't really need. I admit, I don't even bother to find out whether all of these assumptions apply, I don't like the smell and taste of it, so that alone would be enough.

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    • Exactly! It shows they don't care about their health, and spending money on useless stuff. U don't want to worry about their health all the time. And cigarette's smoke makes me cough and sneeze. I hate it

  • Let's see;

    No respect (tries to control mainly)
    Inhibition
    Unintelligent
    Crude
    Lazy
    Unhappy
    Hypersexed (have to put that in after one particular girlfriend).

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    • Yes, controlling people are annoying.
      Pretty reasonable list haha :)

  • These are deal breakers for me:

    A liar
    Tattoos
    Facial piercings
    Smoking
    Excessive Drinking
    Drugs
    Kids (and I do not hate kids, I love kids and am a great uncle to my brothers kids, as well as my friends kids.)

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    • Same here, I simply can't stand a liar and those who drinks too much So, it's a huge deal breaker.
      Thank you for answering!

    • If you are dating women around your age there is a chance she might have kids
      Even if you date a 42 year old there is a chance she might have had a kid from a marriage
      Unless you are one of those guys Eco dates women who are in their 20s but even girls in their 20s have kids sometimes too

    • @iamyourneighbor I will date a women that has children, just not a woman with kids that are minors, or adult children living at home that are not supporting the household.

      I date in my age range, it is flattering having some 20 something come on to me. But I am real, and know most are looking for a sugardaddy and I have to much respect for myself to be a bank account for anyone my age range or younger.

  • - closed minded
    - bad hygiene
    - stuck up
    - does drugs
    - parties too much
    - drunks roo much

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  • Everyday examples if they don't improve after talking about it: uncommitted (doesn't want to get married, have kids after many years together), puts no effort in, doesn't initiate sex, never prioritises our relationship, doesn't contribute anything (leaves it all to me), very low sex drive (any loving relationship should have a suitable amount of sex)
    Extreme examples that would bring immediate close to our relationship: Lying, cheating,

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    • I wouldn't also be with someone who doesn't want children. I want to have children/ adopt one.

  • Controlling, rude, condescending, irresponsible, unambitious, prone to wallowing in self-pity or blaming others for their problems, shallow, lacking initiative in the relationship (expects me to plan every outing or call first every time), obese/poor hygiene.

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  • -If she doesn't feel comfortable talking about Jesus
    -If she doesn't absolutely love children
    -If she uses any kind of tobacco. I don't care if it's smokeless! If a girl uses any kind of tobacco, smokes cigarettes, cigars, or pipe tobacco, uses smokeless tobacco, sniffs glue or white-out, AND/OR asks me to start, I'm gone!!!
    -If she's rude to anyone.

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  • okay, lets see
    doesn't like children
    doesn't want children (if we get this far)
    no brains
    not a good personality (bitch)
    bad music choices (i know it is petty, but true)
    complainer
    dishonest
    doesn't like animals
    hates games
    aggressive
    too weird (i know i am weird, but if they are worse. no)
    no sense of humor
    party animal
    nagging
    and yeah, i guess that is probably it. i might have missed a few, but those are the reasons off the top of my head

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  • I will not put up with any of the following:
    1. Bullying of anyone
    2. Lying.(About important stuff.)
    3. Abuse of me or of people I like
    3. Being unhygenic
    4. Stupidity
    5. Bigotry, any flavor
    6. Having no personality
    7. Being alcoholic
    8. Habing many piercings
    9. Having many tattoos
    10. Taking drugs

    Those are the absolute, instant, nothing-can-possibly-make-up-for-these deal breakers.

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    • How many piercing is too many? :o

    • More than 2 off of the ears, on the head would be too much. More than 2 on the body elsewhere would be too much.
      More than 6 on ears would be too much. (These are separate counts, by the way. 6 on ears and 2 off would be okay.)
      Nose rings are an instant no.

  • Their personality

    One time one seemed really okay, but she was just childish, turned out to have a boyfriend still, does things wrong and then except The Other to apologize... I'm like 'no'

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  • smokes
    Don't like kids
    does drugs
    parties frequently
    Cold and condescending
    can't take comedy or jokes
    does not like to be hugged or touched

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    • I forgot to add drugs and people who lacks sense of humour in my deal breakers list! 😳🙊

    • "does not like to be hugged or touched"
      I also wouldn't date someone who's not affectionate :/
      Thank you for answering, Stephen :)

    • You're welcome :)

  • 1st someone who hates kids and doesn't want to be a mother someday
    2nd is not faithful and honest in a relationship
    3rd is a control freak... never compromises in a relationship
    4th does domestic violence/ very abusive...
    5th is a gold digger :P... and a manipulating b***h
    ... @Genie23

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    • tbh its hard to find a woman these days w/o these above 5 qualities or at least one of the above 5 ... honestly i'm not a womanizing type man and like to be loyal to someone :( ... to take reference from a meme :P ---->
      " I DON'T ALWAYS LOVE WOMEN , BUT WHEN I DO ITS TRUE LOVE "

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    • u r welcome :P

    • by the way can u come on messenger? @Genie23

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 27

  • 1. Smoker/Drug User/Alcoholic
    2. Abusive Verbally/Physically
    3. Unemployed and doing nothing about it/doesn't care
    4. Has kids and doesn't care for them or if non-existent, doesn't want kids
    5. Lacking in manners/hygiene
    6. Doesn't want marriage
    7. Any of the isms or phobes (i. e. racist, sexist, ageist, homophobic)
    8. Hates Animals/doesn't like pets
    9. Criminal Past
    10. Hates Holidays

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    • Damn!! I forgot to add Homophobic guys and guys who mistreats animals in the deal breaker list :(
      Thank you for answering :)

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    • @blondfrog I love holidays, love to celebrate them, invite family and friends over and participate in all the egg hunts, valentines hearts, gift giving, turkey basting, you name it. I had an ex who literally hated holidays and complained--->endlessly<-- about the commercialization of them, and how they are all some grand Hallmark conspiracy, why should he even have to do anything for any of them, blah, blah, blah. He just basically made it a point to crap all over my joy. I mean, do I honestly think Easter is about a giant bunny who leaves eggs for children, no, but do I enjoy creating Easter egg hunts for my nieces and nephews and seeing the joy on their faces, absolutely. Hence, if you hate Holidays, and prefer to whine about these days rather then celebrate and enjoy friends/fam and yes the commercialization, then we won't work out. In my fam, we do them all up big, and I intend to carry on those memories and traditions for my life, and in my relationships as well.

    • @blondfrog "hating holidays" certainly rules out Jehovah's Witnesses because they say that's a heathen tradition and God hates heathen things

  • For me, my deal breakers are:

    Makes it about sex almost immediately
    Is too shy/lazy – expects me to do all of the work and initiate EVERYTHING
    Is closed minded and rude
    Self-centered and selfish, expects everything to be handed to him/never sees his flaws
    Petty, complains a lot, takes no responsibility for anything and blames his problems on everyone else

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  • Probably not wanting kids and not sharing my belief system. Those are 2 very important things for me :)

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  • If a guy is racist
    If a guy who's still not you romantic partner talks to you in a very pervy way
    If a guy smokes/drinks
    If a guy is not respectful/well mannered and is rude
    If a guy doesn't like children
    If a guy is lazy with no ambitions
    If a guy is not funny/sociable and is boring to talk to

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  • Smoking
    Drinking too much
    Laziness
    No ambition
    Slob
    Immature sense of humor
    Puts others down to appear better (come across this one a lot)
    Closed minded
    Uncommitted
    Pretends to be cool
    Pessimistic
    Stupidity

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  • Someone who is a traditional asshole who thinks women are baby factories and should never talk back to their men and belong I the kitchen. Those people could just die.

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  • My deal breakers are:
    Guy is separated but still legally married
    He has no job or no money saved up at all
    He still talks to His ex and he still talks about his ex or he lives with his ex
    Criminal background
    He says he loves me after the 2nd date

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    • Criminal background and guy who talks about his ex are deal breaker for me too!
      Thank you for answering :)

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    • @mesonfielde maybe that's because you have no friends and your only friends are exes

    • Well, I won't cut off all contact just because shit didn't work out.

      I would if she's prying on my social relations.

  • - aggressive/ can't control his anger/ takes his bad mood out on me
    - has no manners and is rude
    - narrow-minded and ignorant!!!
    - big-headed
    - inconsiderate/ no empathy

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    • Omg, I should have added those in my deal breakers list! Same here, thanks for answering :)

    • I am on your last list I pretty much have no empathy for anyone.

  • rude in general is big because arrogant, racist, homophobic, treats those inferior to him rudely, etc all count and would be classified as rude
    lies a lot or cheated in the past
    beat his exes in the past or beats me
    misogynistic or misandrist
    isn't hygienic
    does not like kids
    if he smokes especially since smoke gives me a headache

    totally agree with you on the waiter thing, because if you want to know how a person really acts, look at how he treats those who are inferior to him/her.

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    • Exactly!
      And yes, I can't stand homophobic, racist people either. Thank you for answering!

  • If they are a creep, pervert, or a fuckboy.

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  • Deal breakers for me
    1. Sexist guys
    2. Racist guys
    3. Isn't loyal
    4. Bad personality (overall bad guy)
    5. Emotionless guys
    6. Bad hygiene
    7. Homophobic
    8. Religious

    NOTHING can make me change my mind because these are very important (for me)

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  • - virgin
    - can't drive / doesn't have a car
    - unhygienic
    - weak (physically and mentally)
    - too sensitive
    - socially awkward
    - unintelligent
    - doesn't drink
    - gambler
    - gamer
    - married
    - if they have cheated in past
    - they dont like animals
    - they dont like kids
    - childish

    I could seriously write a whole chapter about this lol

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    • A whole chapter... wow D: LOL!

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    • most guys your age are virgins you would be surprised lots of guys just talk but lie at that age.

    • @blondfrog i usually dont date guys my age.

  • If a guy is a smoker or an alcoholic
    If a guy is a male chauvinist
    If a guy is a drug addict
    If a guy is not respectful
    If a guy doesn't like children and pets
    If a guy is bossy and a control freak
    If a guy is a braggart and spoiled brat

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  • doesn't like children since I have a almost 6 year old, no job unless he's actively looking , rude to others, smoking (e-cigarette included )

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  • 1.) No hygene
    2.) No smoking/drinking/drugs
    3.) No looking at other women, porn just to see a women and (especially) lesbian porn (a big no!!! yes I'm territorial lol)
    4.) No laziness
    5.) No games or cartoons
    6.) NO dishonesty
    7.) And no sex-addiction

    I know, my criteria is high. I've always been complicated like that haha.
    I love serious, ambitious men. Not kids.

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    • No games or cartoons! D: Wow, but most guys likes cartoons and games ;o
      Well, thank you for answering :)

    • Lol no cartoons? That's a mighty tall order. Would you possibly have wiggle room on cartoon interests of he's a pretty dope animator? Just curious.

    • I just don't like it when a guy plays games and/or watches cartoons. Easpecially if he's he's 25+
      Such a turnoff for me. I want guys who live in reality, not in a fantasy world.
      Everyone has their own taste of course and I'm fine with it. :P

  • All the points you mentioned plus if he drinks , he thinks of getting physical or thinking sexually all the time... doesn't have time for me... doesn't care for me... etc etc

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  • Cruel
    Insensitive
    Overly sarcastic
    Bad hygiene
    Disrespectful
    Violent
    Has anger issues
    Unsucessful

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  • If he lacks intellect

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  • Poor hygiene.

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  • Mostly lack of honesty, ambition, understanding, or maturity

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  • Fuckboy behavior

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  • Untrustworthy, unclean, uncontrolled anger, mean to animals.

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  • When someones rude to others (for no reason), lies, is late for things often, bad hygiene. When they do something they know I hate. Yeah, all deal breakers for me.

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  • crude and insecure

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    • i forgot, places too much emphasis on the physical

    • One of my exes was really insecure kind of person. Dating him was the worst decision I've ever made. -__-
      Thank you for answering :0

  • - smokes
    - Enaged in illegal activities
    - too Controlling
    - bad hygiene
    - Short :P (LOL)

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  • Not considerate of who I am as a person. I would be wasting my time.

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  • Besides being an ass nothing else really 😒

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