Please try and analyse/give me your thoughts on my relationship with this girl so far?

Not that I have much of one, only friends. Just started uni, I'm 24 and she is 19. So, I've been on the lookout for a girlfriend for too long now, I have aspergers and my social development was incredibly slow so it's only more recently that I've become socially confident and can start talking to people I don't know and be all talkative and all that.

Okay so there's this one girl who is quite the epitome of the wallflower - never gets drunk, doesn't go clubbing, likes quiet nights in, mega happy and cheerful and kind etc. She's a bit.. I dunno' 'spacey', like, socially awkward and I could believe it if someone told me she has aspergers too like. Well I sometimes give her a lift out to socials and back to her halls and that, and the last time she talked loads and gave me loads of info about herself and her family and stuff, and then when I dropped her off she like looked at me with a big smile and said in.. maybe a kinda' bashful way a little bit "okay, well see you whenever".

I don't know how to read social situations but I think I did the right thing by not going for a kiss then because we haven't known each other long and it felt too soon, and with risk (potentially ruining the friendship in a moment of misunderstanding) outweighing potential gain at this point, due to uncertainty.

if it helps I sometimes call her a nickname I made up for her, and like teased her about zoning out to adverts on the television. I've read before now that some girls like that, or that it's a sign that a guy thinks she's cute or whatever, which I do. She didn't get annoyed with me so that's cool I suppose.

So what do you think of what has happened so far? Also, I've started texting her a fair bit, and well she talks loads more in person than in text. Just wondering if I should maybe see if she would let me hang out in her flat some time, by text so it's quite casual? Also considered calling her and asking if she'd like to go out into town sometime, just to hang out to start with.

Updates:
Please help me out? Especially the ladies.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think you need to take her out to eat, movie and anything along those lines. You need to ask her in person.

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    • But that could count on the phone? Not actually in the same course so don't see her unless pre arranged. Could just do it as casually hanging out to start with? Like, so that it's not definitely a date? Or is that just a set up for her thinking I'm just a friend then?

    • You have a point, I changed my mind. Make things casual, it is better. Do not call it a date nor anything. Tell her you want to hang out etc, super casual! However, I would suggest that you get something cool to do, even if it is casual. Something that you would do with your bodies too but tell her if she'd like to come with you. Like going to a sports game of the uni, concert, or tell her you wanted to check out the museum, or whatever, like you said, CASUAL, and THEN! when you are hanging out casually, flirt with her! Touch her (if she is responding positively of course). That way you are sending her mix signals which make a girl go crazy and keep thinking "Does he like me?" And that constant thinking is what makes her like you

  • Looks like there is potential to be honest :)

    A quick opinion though, I think she might have expected something more after you dropped her off that day like you trying something else or maybe asking her out.

    Things look well to me but girls are special and sometimes they put a guy they like in the friend zone if he does not do anything. Can I be honest with you? If you actually like her (physically and romantically) I would go for it, ask her out, take the risk. I mean you are probably not going to marry her and if we do not act quick she might meet someone else or just see you as such a good friend already that she does not want to ruin your relationship. Go for it, the way I see it, if she likes you back she will go for it, if not I do not think waiting more time will make her change her mind. You have given her an impression already! And from what I am reading, a positive one! You are the man! I am sure she will go for it once you take the chance to go for her!

    The worst scenario she says she sees you as a friend only, but its ok, if you want to be friends with her still then you got a great female friend now, and if not, well you can just leave her alone now that you are not that involved with her yet (less than a couple on months I am assuming)

    But do not think that! She will reciprocate! Go for it bud ;)

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