Let’s not kid ourselves here. Looks are always essential initially for people to get attracted to us. Personality, nature etc. comes later. But isn’t it tragic that the one aspect about us, which we have least control over (which is our looks), matter the most in terms of dating and relationships? Of course, there are ways to IMPROVE our looks, but we can’t change the face we are born with. And we never get to choose how we wish to look, from a set of pre-defined templates when we are born.
I know people go on and on about how ‘looks aren’t everything’, but it’s obviously the looks which gets the other person interested in the beginning.
P. S. I’m not considering drastic measures such as plastic surgery, which can significantly alter (not necessarily improve) a person’s looks. That's beyond the scope of this question.
I absolutely agree! I think it's very tragic, it's only getting worse too, I see all of these girls on instagram doing their make up to take pictures at the gym and go to nice restaurants and sit down just to take a picture, I find this narcissistic society absolutely disgusting and the sad part is that almost everyone is part of it, I'm 24 and refuse to post bikini pictures or selfies of myself and I guess that just makes me a boring person with no life, which is not the case, I just rather experience things in the moment rather than focus on what my pictures look like and then reminisce about it. It has also made the dating game a lot more difficult, I feel like guys have this high expectations of girls looking like the girls on Instagram and anything less in not good enough, it's like they don't see past the reality that most of the pictures are super edited, posed, and highly unrealistic of what most girls look like. I miss the days where dating was about making a good first impression and not swiping left or right being judged solely on looks, we are not fruit at the supermarket to be chosen based on appearance, what's baffling is that most people seem to be ok with it.
Yes it is tragic indeed. The "You just have to have confidence" doesn't work for everybody. That may work for average and above on the richter scale. People who are about 4-10 got a higher chance while 3 and below is an uphill battle. But the good thing is I have seen many undesirables have someone so at least its not impossible.
It sucks for sure. Especially since working out is soooo boring lmao, but alas, I still work out several times a week. When I was single I would always wish someone would fall in love with me for my awkward charm and nerdy wit alone lol
I'm lucky I have a partner who loves me for more than my looks 👐
of course looks are important, and it doesn't just go for choosing a parter, it goes as far as the style of clothes you choose, the car you want, the house you like... you and all of us choose in what we find most attractive and what's closest to our budget... you wouldn't go for a trashed house if you could a ford a prettier one... same for for choosing a partner... and for the most part, we DO have control over how we look. If you don't have a very attractive face, then work in having a nice body and personality and you WILL attract people even at first sight.. it's common sense, but people like to complain complain complain... bleh~. And no it's not tragic.
Our bone structure mostly determines if we're good-looking or not, strictly on an objective physical level. In that sense it is 'tragic' that many people would place a high value on something that can't be worked on.
The way I see it is that good-looking people at first glance are nothing more than skin and bone that have been proportioned nicely through luck of the draw.
But the good thing about beauty is that it is subjective as well since emotions play a big role in what attracts. What is emotional is not always logical and if you can cut through the logic, emotions always win out. Many people forget this part. That our aura, our energy, our effort also play a role in what attracts independent of what you're born with.
I don't necessarily think it's tragic. I weigh looks as the equal to personality. People always say that looks fade and personality stays forever, but they aren't exactly right. Personality changes throughout time.
If we're talking about what you're born with, then yes it's tragic. But I don't see anything tragic about people, shaving or trimming the damn beard. Washing the face and working out. Looking presentable. Obviously having substance as a person is more important, but I don't see why it being important to have a good wrapper is a bad thing. I just can't see it.
It does suck and so many more people would feel so much happier if there was no ugly or hot it was just everyone was different and you found them more physically hot if they meshed well with your personality.
It is how the world works, life is VERY unfair. Your life can be screwed by simply being born in the wrong place. I might not be the same person if I was born in some slum in afghanistan or guatemala where there's not much hope to make it out. That's why a lot of people become criminals and gang members, I might've too in a different world.
yes, don't over estimate it too much though. it only peeks open the door to attraction. you can't simply have a personality, presence, confidence, or be funny either. these are very strong characteristics and people pick up on them very easily. i agree with your point though. our culture worships beauty and social media seems to have made it worse.