If any of you are familiar with my content, you know my motto: "I'd date a girl whether she had zero sexual partners or infinity." Basically, I pass zero judgment on a girl's past. In my opinion, it's not important or relevant. The only time it would potentially be a problem for me if there was some cheating in the past, but even then I'd still probably give her a chance. I just don't think it's right to judge someone from their past because people can and do change.
However, I've also heard that often times, a guy asking a girl about her past is viewed as a sign that he wants a relationship. So will not asking or caring be interpreted as me only wanting sex?
I think knowing someone's past isn't a bad thing and normal to want to know. I agree with you about the no judgement but be weary of red flags. If you feel like something is wrong it is probably because there is. I think to look for is the way they speak about their ex's because there is always two sides of the story and that ex doesn't have a chance to defend themselves. Sure some ex's are complete assholes but some are not and the relationship just didn't work out. Another sign is how they try either parents. Also cheating us a huge red flag but if they have been to therapy or councilling then I would consider giving them a chance if not then the odds are eventually they will repeat their actions.
Girls with a wild past will likely view it as a plus.
Girls who take sex seriously may view it as a red flag, that either you've been wild, or would be.
Maybe that's accurate. Ultimately projecting your views around sex is likely going to attract people with similar views.
You may be in the position I was in at your age, which was that fundamentally, i was open minded about sex, but I was also inexperienced. I ended up dating girls who were much more sexually reserved than I was, and should have done what I needed to to become more attractive to girls who were sexually outgoing.
No, not at all. If her past (especially her sexual past) is completely irrelevant to you, then you don't have to ask anything. It's not exactly a fun topic of conversation, so I'm sure most girls wouldn't mind skipping that part, haha. More innocent questions about her dating past -- like "How long ago was your last relationship?" -- could be nice to know, though.
Anyway, if you want to make sure a girl knows you're genuinely interested in her, just have thoughtful conversations with her, compliment/tease her, etc.
I can't see it being interpreted as you only wanting sex. Maybe, if you want, you could state to the girl beforehand that you don't care about their pasts at the very beginning. But otherwise, I don't think it would be interpreted as you just wanting sex.
As a girl, I think past relationship questions are kind of strange. If you get too specific it seems like you are comparing yourself/competing. And getting incredibly personal like the number of partners question is way too invasive; at least I think so, because like you said, it shouldn't matter. I don't think it's bad NOT to ask about past relationships because the past is the past. Asking about anything else relevant to her will show you care. If a girl wants you to know about a past relationship, she should just tell you. If you choose to ask, make it nonchalant and more general.
I'd think it was a sign of disinterest if my boyfriend weren't at all curious about my life up to the moment he met me, but his lack of interest in my number doesn't seem weird at all. He's never asked me and I've never asked him and like you I can't figure out what difference it would make. I can't even see the point of asking if he was a cheater, since I assume cheaters are perfectly willing to lie about these things.
If you didn't ask about my past I wouldn't really care, I wouldn't immediately think you only wanted sex either. If you did ask me about my past I wouldn't think you wanted a serious relationship, I woild just think you cared to ask.
Well, I always express interest in a girls life, but I just don't care about her exes or her previous love life so I don't ask about those things. I also really don't care if she thinks I'm not interested or if she thinks im just interested in sex based on that cause I'm just not gonna ask.
Honestly I think that having your attitude is a red flag in and of itself. I get that you want to be progressive but too much of anything can be bad - including sex. Now I'm not saying I would shame a woman for having countless sexual partners BUT I wouldn't want anything to do with her.
Just be honest and explain that if she feels the need to explain her past then she is more than welcome to, but that there is no obligation to do so, and that you don't pass judgement on anyone because you think that people are decent. Being straight forward is usually the best thing to do.