Should I tell this guy about a guy I used to date?

Basically there's a guy I'm sort of seeing atm lol. We haven't met yet but we're sort of waiting for eachother, were meeting soon :) anyway he said he'd never date anyone who goes to uni because it has always ended up badly for couples he knew. However he said I'd be the exception.
I'm just in an awkward situation now though, I went on one date with this guy who goes to my university and he's asked me out again for when we go back. I will make it clear I only want to see this guy as a friend but I feel like I should tell the guy I like about this? I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on him or whatever. I genuinely am not interested in seeing the guy from my university romantically but I would want to be friends because he is a lovely person!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Then tell him just what you told us

    He will understand if he really cares for you.

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What Guys Said 13

  • 1. To begin with you guys aren't yet formally dating are you?
    2. If you aren't then there's no cheating involved
    3. You can always state to your guy that you are going out with a friend since you are considering it that way too
    4. There is no cheating in this :)

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    • Oh yes also ensure that you let the guy from the uni know what your intentions are :)

    • How do I let that guy know?

    • Tell him up front - always better that way else he may later accuse you of leading him on :)

      Thank you for the up vote too young lady :)

  • Tell him. But try it in way so that it'll be easier for him to let go of you (romantically)... If he is involved in you romantically, that will definitely hurt him. But I say he should definitely know because the deeper he gets with you in this friiendship (if he likes you a lot), the harder the situation will be for him if he doesn't know.

    Definitely tell him. But I wanna know did you get involved with him before the second guy or after? and why did you accept his date if you weren't interested in him in the first place?

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    • I knew the guy from uni a long time before I knew the guy I'm into at the moment. We went on the date months ago and I did sort of like him but he wasn't putting in enough effort

  • It sounds like you like both guys. I wouldn't go on the date if you really like the new guy. Maybe he won't care though. You could tell him but are you really going to be truthful about the situation? Are you going to say you recently dated him and that you like the guy but he didn't put effort in and now you just want to see the guy on a friendly date? What would you think if a guy told you he was going to do the same thing? Isn't it obvious that the guy that thinks he's going on a non platonic date with you has some interest? That sounds like a bad situation. What I would do personally is if you really do like the old guy, I would ask him to hang out once you and the new guy are more established. There's a good chance you won't really want to spend time with that guy (I bet you still have interest in him which is motivating you two meeting) and you'll be more likely to know if the old guy has an interest in knowing you in just a friendly way.

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    • I definitely like the new guy more, the only edge that the old one would have over him is that I've met him already and he was still interested. I don't like the old guy in that way tbh, I did but not anymore

    • I still don't see why you would go on a date with the old guy though. Would you want the new guy to go out with a girl that thought they were going on a date up until he told her the date was just to be as friends? I guess it doesn't matter that much. There's a good chance the old guy doesn't want to go just to be friends.

  • The best option would be to flake on the date with guy 2. When he asks why didn't you come.. tell him that your boyfriend ended up in an emergency and you had to go. Now you're NOT deliberately telling him that you have a boyfriend, so that saves your face but does the work. Obvio you dont have a boyfriend yet, but he doesn't know that and he needn't know that. Talk nicely to him. Be oblivious that he likes you. Treat him as a friend. guy 1 is happy, guy 2 is happy, you are happy. WIN WIN WIN

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  • You're not dating, so you're not exclusive. Even if you were, you don't have to tell your SO about every person you used to date in the past.

    As for the guy at uni, you need to be honest and say you've got someone else now. It sucks for him, but if you are expecting to be friends with him your current squeeze is going to come up in conversation sooner rather than later!

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  • I say no. No guy wants to hear about some other guy you're dating.

    Until things are exclusive, there should be a "dont ask dont tell" policy about seeing other people. Keeps things less messy.

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  • Your not dating the guy yet but by all means honesty is the best way to go about it so i think your making the right decisions by doing so. before you decide to date the guy.

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  • Yeah it's best to tell the guy you love that "XXX" asked you out but you're keeping him safely in the friend zone.
    Better to be open about such things :D
    You know, in a relationship everything is about confidence!

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  • Until you've had the "exclusivity" talk with the guy you really want to be with, you have the right to see as many guys as you want, and you're not obligated to tell anyone about the other guys you're seeing.

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  • It wouldn't hurt to tell him.

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  • No DONT DO THAT NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR EX'S

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    • lol that is not true at all

      She should be upfront about those things. That's what makes relationships healthy
      You should be able to trust each other to tell the other everything.
      If you don't start cultivating those habits early it will be worse for you

      No matter at what stage a relationship is, if she is going to become friends with this guy and see him on a regular basis she should tell her love interest what is really going on.

      Better than having him find out later some other way and have him doubt her intentions. Lies have a way to catching up with you. Even lies by omission. And it is important not to omit things like that.

  • Tell him that you are going to hang out with a guy you went on 1 date with.

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  • Better to tell him early

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