How to make sure my next boyfriend is not someone I choose to date just because I need someone to hang out with?

I feel like for most of my life I have not had the best social life. I did not make many friends in high school and the friends that I did make I am no longer friends with. I made my best friends in college so all of my friends I keep in touch with on a regular basis and we hang out occassionally, but I do not have plans regularly on the weekend and I guess that is because they do not live close by. My friends live between 1-2hrs away so we meet up about maybe once every two months. I feel like for most of my life I have wanted a boyfriend for the purpose of having someone to hang out with. It seems that when your in a relationship a boyfriend is someone that you spend a lot of time with. I feel like I have wanted a boyfriend for the sole purpose of having someone that you know is going to hang out with you every weekend and not someone who will sometimes hang out with you occasionally like what friends are for. A boyfriend I feel is someone you get to have someone be with you all the time. This sounds like I am extremely lonely, which I guess is the solid truth. I am independent and I enjoy my alone time, but I feel like I always want a boyfriend for this purpose. My first boyfriend that I had I was not attracted to and I feel like I just dated him just to have a boyfriend. My second boyfriend I was more attracted to but I feel like I knew he was all wrong for me, and I tried telling myself Im not going to make the same mistake again by being with this guy like I did with my first one, but I did it anyway. Both guys ended up breaking up with me nothing to do with this but I was sad and hurt I think because I didn't have a boyfriend anymore or someone to spend time with. I could be overthinking it and perhaps I genuinly did like them. I had lots of guys aske me out and I have turned them down so I don't settle, but how do I make sure I don't choose my next boyfriend because I simply want someone to hang out with?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Really, I think you be sure by allowing yourself some leeway to occasionally go out with someone you may not think is perfect. A date or two here and there isn't a commitment to get married or even have an exclusive relationship. You are right, you are over thinking it. Go out with some of these guys, take it for what it is... one date, nothing more, nothing less and let yourself off the hook.

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