How Important is a Man's Status/Lifestyle in Dating?

I was talking to a younger girl the other day, and she was raving about going out with a guy since he was so popular. I remember how women used to headhunt the football players in college. And today, I've seen celebrities take another man's girl from right in front of him. I've even known women who live with their mom to reject men because those guys don't have a car (even though he may have his own place). So how important is a man's status/lifestyle when he is being considered as a partner?

  • Very Important
    9% (3)45% (14)27% (17)Vote
  • Important
    34% (11)29% (9)32% (20)Vote
  • Of Minimal Concern
    41% (13)23% (7)32% (20)Vote
  • Not Important at All
    16% (5)3% (1)9% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is really important to a lot of girls, but not most, not as far as I know.

    I'm 19, I'm a college student, I'm in between jobs, I currently live at home. I'm in no position to require that a guy I date be financially stable when I'm not bringing that to the table myself.
    But I would highly prefer that he has a car. I don't want to drive all the time. I'm a bad driver with a shitty car that is falling apart. So, I'd prefer he has a car, but him not having one isn't a deal breaker.

    I also most likely wouldn't date a guy who doesn't have ambition. I'm in college and plan to get a pHD, and if I end up in the career field I want I will be making decent money for sure. I have goals for the future and a general idea of what kind of life I'm after. I don't see myself with a guy who has no goals, and is content just working an entry level job for years.

    I also couldn't give less of a fuck about his "popularity. " if I like him, that's all that matters. Actually I would be insecure to date a super popular person. I'm not comfortable in the spotlight and he'd probably drag me to hang out with a crowd and that's not my thing.

    But yeah, like I said that matters to a lot of people. Not me.

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    • I'm a little confused about what you mean by LIFESTYLE though. Lifestyle is important.
      Popularity and being wealthy isn't, but lifestyle matters... does he drink a lot? Does he party? Does he have a lot of casual sex? That's not for me. Is he really religious? Goes to church all the time? An extreme health freak? Works out constantly? Also not for me. Those are just examples

    • You bring up an interesting point regarding the definition of "lifestyle." In this context, I was referring to the wealth of a man and the quality of life that that may bring him.

    • Quality of life can be taken a different way as well lol. But I understand what you're saying

Most Helpful Guy

  • For most women, it's important to very-important.

    After relationships themselves, women prioritize status, stability, and safety, and are attracted to men who can provide some or all of these things (generally, the more, the better). Obviously, women who are used to having these things will tend to give them a higher priority than those who don't.

    When normal society breaks down, some percentage of women automatically gravitate towards whoever shows themselves to be the strongest/smartest/highest-status man, even if they wouldn't have given that person the time of day before the crisis. This is seen over and over throughout history, and it's because it's the best survival and reproductive strategy a woman can have - and as much as we often hate to admit it, much of our behavior, even in modern times, is very closely based on our animalistic instincts to survive and reproduce. Our ancestors are our ancestors BECAUSE they had strong instincts to do this - and those who didn't failed to pass on their DNA, and were thus "bred out."

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What Girls Said 17

  • Here is all that I expect: he isn't an idiot and can take care of himself.

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  • I was never attracted to the popular, beefy-looking football players in high school and (now) in college. I don't care about popularity in the slightest.

    Lifestyle is important. I want to date someone who mostly has their life together, and is either going to school or has a solid job. I'm pretty ambitious, so I'd want the guy to be the same way. As far as having a car goes... I mean if I lived in a big city then I wouldn't care if a guy had a car or not, but where I live you kind of need one to get around. I would hate to do all the driving in a relationship.

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  • I'd say a man's lifestyle is important in terms of compatibility with my lifestyle. It's less about status than it is about lifestyle itself, though if I was to be completely honest, I may hesitate marrying someone with less education than me because of what I've seen in my life. BUT that can be overlooked if I deeply trusted him and he was an amazing person to me. Ideally, I'd envision being with someone in a similar career, because the effortless mutual understanding and ability to discuss deeply about work-related things would be wonderful to have.

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  • I want him to have a similar lifestyle to myself. I want him to want the same kind of life as I do. That's it.

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  • I don't really care.. The only crush I've ever had on someone was on a guy who's studying visual arts to become a contemporary artist but is now apparently homeless, according to himself, lol but I know my family would have never tolerated that relationship anyways. They would only really tolerate someone who's from the same 'social circle/class' on my side which honestly kinda sucks

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  • My husband and I both had nothing when we met each other at 18 for me and 20 for him living with his mom. He had a rusty little car, but thats it. We decided to move in together anyway in a hole in the wall. We built everything we have together and we have done great. Couple cars, good careers, own our house.. we made each other. So I don't think it really matters.

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  • I mean he can't be notorious, but yeah I don't really care.

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  • It varies from person to person, but i think most people want someone who is similar to them.
    You cannot take like WAGS or celebrities into account though, they are like 1% of the population.

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  • When you say status i think major and job not fame or whatever:p so if it s that, of course it s important to me. We need to at least have the same level of intellect. Now lifestyle is as important too, whether we are talking about habbits or income.
    I am not gonna lie of course money matters to me but it s not fundamental. I wouldn t like earning a lot more money than him and neither will his ego.

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    • What if he's WAY smarter than you?

    • @RichardTheFrog that is a good question :p i don t know i guess i d be intimidated by him/admire him. Like it can be or good or bad for me: it can be like a student/ teacher relationship or more dom/sub. It really depends on him more than it depends on me.

    • But i guess i ll be stressed out in this relationship. Always trying to impress him or to prove myself... it s a bit of a weak spot:/

  • "status" and "lifestyle" are two different things

    status refers to one's rep, which isn't important at all
    lifestyle is about the guy's living habits, which is VERY important - after all, you don't wanna date some hobo livin' on the streets

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  • As long as he's not a dirty thug street rat who sells drugs, its minimal in my age group because everyone is a college student and not rich. You have to crawl before you can walk.

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    • You want Chad thunder cock just like all females. You aren't special my child. Another female enslaved to the instincts of luster after muscles, height and men's wealth.

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    • You got a problem with street rats? Aladdin would like to have a word with you.

    • @Resoglass I bet he has no soap 😨

  • For me it's important because I like a certain personality and if they have a negative personality, it's a huge turn off.

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  • I think it depends on the type of woman your dating. If she is like me then no but some girls just want someone to take care of them. Girls who just want to be taken care of are usually not the ones you want

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  • For me, it's (in percentage of importance):
    -Physical attraction/looks- 40%
    -Personality- 30%
    -Confidence/Charisma- 20%
    -Status/lifestyle- 10%

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    • What's the best personality?

    • @RichardTheFrog for me, I like a self-assured guy, a little bit cocky, who is ambitious and easy-going. I tend to prefer outgoing guys to shy ones, but I have previously been attracted to both.

      But obviously every girl is different and will have a different personality preference.

  • Status is not very important but lifestyle is very important.

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  • It varies person to person. Some people are ambitious and are attracted to power. Some people are attracted on looks (solely I mean). Some people are attracted to wealth. Some people want love and a connection. Sometimes it's a combination...

    So for me personally, ambition can be an attractive trait. As long as he doesn't obsess too much and takes time to enjoy life as well. If a guy is doing well in his career/has good status but has about a normal level of stress, while being able to chill with his partner, I would find that attractive.

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  • Let's face it, 99.9 % of us are just ordinary people. We will never have status or fame or millionaires. So just be your average self and find an average girl. The only people that need to worry about girls wanting only status are millionaires and famous people. You're not neither. Those girls aren't going to want you ever. So you don't need to concern yourself and waste time on this issue

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What Guys Said 8

  • When you say "status" or "lifestyle," I'm assuming that you mean, "within reason" or "within a Bell curve."

    Obviously, everyone wants "better."

    But "wanting" better doesn't mean that people won't "accept" what's "good."

    From that point, there are some general differences between male and female emotional needs during the initial "dating" phase. Men and women are looking for "acceptance" and "validation" ... "of"?

    Of "their value" ... "as a mating partner."

    Men get that validation of their value as a mating partner (before they have things like a job, steady income, educational and career achievements, material possessions, etc.) though the "revealed preferences" of women (i. e., actions that objectively establish that women "prefer" HIM as a mating partner). After their education is complete, however, the importance of female "revealed preferences" becomes less - and men rely more or almost exclusively on "objective criteria/indicia" of their value as a mating partner (e. g., their home, their earning power, their car, their lifestyle, their financial stability, their social power/influence, the value of their social network, etc.).

    This is all stuff that's beyond the scope of anyone's subjective "opinion." Nobody's "opinion" is required to tell you that your annual earnings are "above average." That's a fact that either "is" or "isn't" true.

    In turn, from a woman's point of view, the "mate value" of a man has a direct impact on her "objective" assessment or evaluation of her own "mate value" as a woman. Unfortunately, the "mate value" of a woman is something that's predominantly based on the "revealed preferences" of men.

    There is also an "assumption" at work, that assumption being, "people generally want to GET 'equal or higher' mate value from others in return for GIVING their own mate value."

    So, when a woman gets approached only by men who are a (5) in mate value, the only "objective" indication of men's "revealed preferences" that she has leads her to the only reasonable conclusion of... "my mate value as a woman is at or about a (5)."

    The prospect of gaining the "interest" or "favor" of a man with a "higher mate value" (e. g., a man who is a 7 or 8) is a pleasurable emotion for a woman, because doing so would in turn validate that she herself (i. e., as a woman) has a mate value of about 7 or 8.

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    • I love analytical, yet true this analysis was.

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    • If you want to re-look at your childhood memories through a more adult lens for a cleaner analogy or illustrative example, watch "Cinderella" one more time.

      The "prince" approaches Cinderella in the forest. Despite the "viewer" having enough information to conclude that this man has "status," and is "a prince," the emotional distress of guilt and other negative feelings attached with wanting or desiring those things is "removed" by identifying with "Cinderella," who is a naive clueless innocent girl who doesn't observe or notice such things.

      When the prince is later looking for Cinderella, every other girl in the entire kingdom who knows that the glass shoe isn't hers nevertheless tries on the shoe in the hopes of landing with the prince.

      You can learn a lot about how a man's "status" and "mate value" is "communicated" without triggering "emotional distress" or "resistance" (i. e., denial, other defense mechanisms) by watching Disney movies.

    • I'll seriously consider taking the time to write one.

      Thank you.

  • As someone who didn't have a lot of status growing up, but does now, the difference in attention from women is astronomical.

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  • as long as you have either a massive dick or loads of money then you will always have any woman you want.

    for us mere mortals who have an average income and average dick size, you need to hope you find a woman who isn't bothered by that crap. the problem is you are more likely to find life on mars than a girl who doesn't care about money/massive dongs.

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  • Just remember ALL WOMEN LIE! They will never admit that status and wealth are important. Gag girls will put on the nice girl act.

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  • Really? And they tell us that this shit will end in high school...

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  • if man goes from superstar to scum... girl drop him like dirt.

    man need think long term with girls. When you go sick most girl will leave you on bed that is death.

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  • Women view men as power objects, men view women as sex objects.

    Women use sex to get power, men use power to get sex.

    We also fall in love, form friendships and so on. But on some layer, the first statements are true.

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    • Depressing, yet real

    • It's less about money, more about other things. I mean it can't be money.

      On some level what women like is men who have their shit together.

    • Yes, a man who has his shit together means security. Also, he likely has good confidence. Money can spring from those things, but not necessarily, yet they are still attractive to women.

  • Maybe I should to a 'Mytake' on this. The problem with asking girls what they want is they typically want contradictory things. Men think women's desires can more-or-less be reduced to a formula because theirs largely can but this is a way women differ from men on average.

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