My online boyfriend wants me to lose weight first?

He's my dream guy.. Haven't met yet but been talking online for a year. He thinks I am fat (which I know I am) and wants me to lose weight before we meet and I get it. I have tried and I have lost 15 kg's about 30 pounds but I still have quite bit to go and I am worried i will still be fat in may when I am supposed to meet him. He isn't a jerk about it though but sometimes he makes me feel like he will only love the skinny me even though we have spoken for a year and he says he loves me more than anything. I am depressed and so busy with school it's hard to keep up with the weight loss. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Losing weight is easier than you think it is. All you have to do basically confine your diet to a few smaller meals a day and you will see results after a few weeks. For breakfast have some fruit and maybe an egg. For lunch eat a turkey sandwich with some cheese, and a cup of yogurt. For dinner maybe have some chicken and vegetables or rice. All you need to drink is water but milk and juice are good too. That's just some examples, you can find other stuff that will work for you. You don't need to exercise but it helps the process, plus you mentioned you are depressed. Did you know that exercising releases endorphins in your body, which make you happier? Healthy body helps make a healthy mind.

    Sometimes tough love is necessary, I'm sure he wants you to be the best you can be. He loves you the way you are but maybe he loves you enough to see that you don't let yourself wither away, many see that as threatening to their happiness but fail to see that maybe if they did change they could be happier. Anyway, I am typing this and taking your word that he is not being mean about it and not bullying you and has good intentions generally.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should be careful about getting too attached to someone you have yet to meet in person. It can be way different than what you imagine. Happened to my friend and they decided they weren't meant for each other after talking for a year.

    Good job on the 30 pounds! It sounds like he cares about your health and the way you look. If you agree with him, I'd say continue to keep up with the weight loss. Try to make time for it, get a exercise buddy to motivate you, make a food diary, and create a strict schedule. All up to you of course :) Think about the end results. I like looking at pictures online of weight loss to help motivate me.

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What Guys Said 8

  • okay look, im sure when he finally sees you in person, gets the chance to feel you, and go back and forth with all the fucking affection, he will indeed like you more and more, but I gotta say, initially, what a fucking dick.

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    • He sounds like a dick but either way that isn't a good start to a healthy relationship. I will not date men like that. It is different if you are together and over time you gain a lot of weight because it isn't healthy and they care about you. If he wants a slimmer chick he can go find one there are plenty of guys that will date women of all sizes.

      Think of how you will feel if you do lose the weight date this guy then gain some of it back. He will make you feel like shit. Long term with kids and getting older most women gain weight at least temporarily. You don't want to feel his love is contigent on that.

    • @sjoes006 yeah I totally agree it ain't a health way to start a relationship at all by starting online first. he is major dick, reporting for fuck head duty 😂

  • Eh, Id say just keep trying to loose weight really, Sounds like it will pay off for you both in terms of relationship and your own health / happiness.

    And, Try not to worry too much about school. You can always redo tests, But you only get one body.

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  • Hahaha online boyfriend my ass...😆😁😂😂

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    • What do you mean? :)

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    • Oxide the fit one... But if I looked a day one... I would accept her as she is

    • *of course

  • Why are you still with this guy? I wouldn't get with someone that I had a huge intention to change.

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    • But then again I get it. He liked my face and when we started talking we had instant connection. After a year we still talk every day all day long, even when he goes out with his friends he still wants to keep talking even though I tell him he should just focus on having fun with his friends. He's skinny himself and I'm sure he'd be embarrased to walk on the street with me.. I have a really bad self-esteem and feel of wothlesness already so it would also kill me inside that he was ashamed of me. So complicated :'(

    • Honestly this is your low self esteem talking. If someone is your boyfriend they shouldn't be embarrassed walking anywhere with you. This guy doesn't sound like a swell dude

  • You should try and eat more healthy and exercise
    30 minutes a day is already good

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  • are you doing LDR?

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  • Men should like you for you, not who they wish to have

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  • If he loves you your fine

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    • But then again im not. Yes he would meet me in my current weight but I couldn't meet him knowing what he truly feels about the way I look. I'm not an idiot and if I can't feel accepted by him to me I don't believe there's a relationship.

    • Love is about trust and without acceptance there can be no trust. Honey you deserve better.

What Girls Said 5

  • Personally, I'd dump him.
    But it sounds like maybe he's not entirely awful. Be yourself and see how you feel with him

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    • I would say that too... but life can be complicated... that sometimes you end up in situations like this.

  • He sounds like an asshole, I can't see why you would want to bother with him anyway.

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  • No more of him.

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  • This guy sounds like an a-hole. Personally I wouldn't want anything to do with one.

    I was in a situation quite similar to this. The guy used to call me fat and such, and with my low self esteem it drove me insane. Don't let this person degrade you like this. You are worth so much more than this.

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  • He isn't worth it, you deserve to be happy and put yourself first!

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