I started dating this girl two months ago, I'm recently separated and don't want anything serious or a live-in partner. Just want to take it slow and easy and this lady acts like she understands what I'm saying but every time she visits me and stays overnight, she always leaves some of her stuff behind : panties, earrings, shoes, pantyhoses, make-up stuff, t-shirts, etc. Looks to me like she's moving in gradually. How do I stop her without being mean about it?
Most Helpful Girl
Start staying at her house? But it certainly sounds like she's leaving behind reasons to come back... which would indicate feelings beyond casual. This is why sleeping with the same person over and over never remains casual because it fosters emotional bonds between one or both individuals... meaning you'll either both fall for each other OR one will end up hurt while the other has not feelings at all. You can't treat a friends with benefits situation like a one night stand. She may SAY she gets it... but is secretly hoping to win you over and make you want to commit in her mind.
Either voice it aloud again that you want to keep things slow and causal and let her know she shouldn't be leaving things behind... or simply end it, as it seems she's getting the idea that she can turn a casual situation into a serious one.3
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Guy
Gather up most of the stuff, clothes especially. Fold them *neatly* and bag them so it doesn't look like you're treating her things like trash. Text her and tell her you were cleaning your place and found some things she forgot and ask if she'd like you to bring them next time you go to her place. If she's got an overnight kit (Toothbrush, a couple things she needs to clean up in the morning) leave them there so she doesn't feel like she's not welcome to stay the night.2