Why do people assume women need to be physically attracted to a man?

Cause I don't, if they are attractive than it's just a bonus, though if they aren't it's not a big deal. I'm a personality woman.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are normal. A lot of the pathetic men around will say nonsense like "they only like hot guys" or "if its staring from a hot guy it is sexy, if from anyone else its creepy" or whatever. These are just excuses they use to justify their own inadequacy and their lack of personal skills.

    Granted there does seem to be a percentage of girls who are do play into the body things, you do seem to be quite normal.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • personality is always more important.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Let's get something straight here:

    Sure, women are totally attracted to a man from his personality a good portion of a time. No one is denying that. You know what breeds SEXUAL attraction though? Looks. Women care about looks sexually (like men) because personality doesn't mean much in determining if your partner can produce healthy offspring. That's why I see girls adoring shirtless, super cut guys all the time. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, men do this with women, but the point is that *looks matter to women too*.

    This is why a lot of guys who date or get married to "personality" loving women end up burnt. After a while, she can't enjoy having sex with him since his looks aren't what she wants or sometimes even tolerates, even though that personality was golden. That's why you'll see many guys ask, "Why has she stopped intimacy?" over and over again.

    There is no "either/or" with attraction. There are elements of both. You can't have a healthy intimate relationship if one is there but the other isn't. Attraction to only personality and not at all looks is what we call "friends". Attraction to only looks and not personality are what we call "hook-ups". It is not a switch, it's a varying lever. If you're mostly attracted to personality, you're mostly attracted to personality, but looks still matter a fraction, and vise versa.

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  • It seems that most people don't understand how attraction works, so all that many focus on is the sex drive aspect (hot or not), but that's because it is the easiest to notice.

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  • People don't believe me when I say the same. Just ignore them.

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  • Because if you choose to be in a mutually exclusive devoted relationship with one another, then that includes sexual exclusivity, in which case you'll probably want to be physically attracted or otherwise you'll claim to have a headache every day and your partner will get annoyed and break up with you and find someone else who actually is attracted to them.

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  • "Y-you mean you only find my attractive for my personality?"

    henrycavill.org/.../...ll-Immortals-premiere-9.jpg

    "I-I'm so touched, I'm glad attractiveness doesn't matter much to you, since you're a woman after all."

    perlbal.hi-pi.com/.../Ian-Somerhalder-OMG.jpg

    "You have no idea how happy my less than attractive friends will be when they realise good looks are 'just' a bonus'"

    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...a83b131019.jpg

    "Thank you for just loving me for me."

    i.warosu.org/data/fa/img/0102/63/1439876448713.jpg

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  • Because that's how us men want our opposite partner usually when the opposite gender has a certain preference that's what they expect the opposite gender to want to the same as them. Just like how women expect men to have height preferences and be physically attracted to height.

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  • I don't believe a man has to be physically attractive to a woman, but I still stuff a sock to be on the safe side.

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  • "YEAAAHH BABYYYY!!!"

    i975.photobucket.com/.../lol.jpg

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    • You really think you're changing my opinion with that?

    • Nah, I'm just having a giggle.

      But to answer your question, the majority of people are generally attracted to beauty. People may assume that because we hear a lot of girls talking about how much they love guys such as Brad Pitt who are usually famous for their looks as well as their skills.

  • Because pretty much anyone who claims that looks don't matter is only saying it to avoid being 'judged' for being 'shallow'. You can deny how physical attraction works all you like, it won't make true.

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  • The way you perceive the personality/character is biased by looks/expressions way of acting, dressing and gestures.

    So, you may not know it, but at some point, you are influenced by looks.

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  • No one in this world is a personality person, that's just doesn't make sense

    There can be MORE weight on character but even personality of a person is exhibited through expressions and looks... by default looks is a function of personality

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    • Disagree

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    • Sorry but I don't see it

    • You don't have to see it to believe it... just if you know part of personality is projected through expressions, fascial structure and damenor.. that's enough to understand what I'm saying

  • Ok... let's say the guy is nice, funny, treats you right and is just in love with you but he might be a bit on the big side but is trying to lose weight, would you still date this guy?

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  • There is no "need". It's just a preference, just like a lot of girls preferring guys based on their social status. You just need to match up with guys that satisfy both of your preferences.

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  • I'm gonna believe that when I see you with a fat boyfriend

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  • What does personality woman mean? And come on now if mr bean comes to you i doubt you will fall for his jokes and rhetorics.. .

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  • you are going to sit here and say you would still be with someone if they were truly ugly?

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  • because not many people like that acually exist.. and it's politically correct society that says that.

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  • Not asuming anything of you joker

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  • I need my partner to be sexually attracted to me, or I'm not interested in a relationship with them.

    Sexual attraction includes physical attraction for most people. Not for all.

    For others, they don't feel much sexual attraction, they just might be okay with having sex as an expression of love for someone they are emotionally in love with.

    I'm not satisfied by that. I want then to be turned on by me.

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  • Because in most cases that is the sole reason why men cannot get women, the physical attraction is not there.

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  • Because nobody wants to date an ugly person (I think only blind people don't care about physical attraction).

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  • So if a boyfriend looks you in the eye, smiles and says "I don't care that you're fat," that's not going to be taken negatively by you and you expect the same from him?

    What about the women who have a problem with it?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1698006-boyfriend-told-me-he-hates-my-body

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    • I don't care I don't have a problem

  • Well basically every woman I see is dating a guy as physically attractive as her. Not that often I see a girl date somebody who is way less good looking than her.

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  • Then you are a prostitute that sells sex for commitment, I would hate to be the guy that dates you, shame.

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  • Either you're lying or you are not attractive and have given up from that perspective.

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What Girls Said 22

  • I understand what you are saying. I was with a man I had no physical attraction to ( he was overweight, and wasn't very good looking) but yet his personality was beautiful and he knew how to get me off in bed. Looks are not everything.

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    • But I bet part of his personality was transferred through the way he behaved and looked

      I Don't mean hot or not, I mean part of his amazing personality was illustrated through the uniques of how he looks

      There's always a look factor, even if someone is ugly

  • Well, you need to be physically attracted enough to begin with and then the rest can come later. Women in general are a lot more forgiving of a male appearance.
    But then again, it also comes down to whether we are talking relationships or pure sexual experience. In the latter, physical attraction carries more weight.

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  • I'm the same way. His abs aren't going to give me hope when I'm doubting myself; a stack of his cash won't hold me at night. I don't care about wealth or looks. It's all in how he treats me, and how he makes me feel.

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  • I think physical attraction to me comes after I see his personality. I can't be attracted to someone i have never met.

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  • Because it's dependent on the person, and generally speaking, people are more familiar with those who are driven by physical attraction. It's extremely common so it makes those who don't require physical attraction seem less common.

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  • I'm calling bullshit. I'd like to see you stay in a sexual relationship with someone who you don't find physically attractive.

    Personality is a huge part of attraction, yes. But it doesn't make up the entire composition. The physical attraction needs to there too. I'm not saying every guy in a relationship has to be a male model, but something has to be physically attractive to the girl.

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    • Not for me

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    • And I'm pretty you're either talking out your ass, or you genuinely don't know what you want.
      Sexual relationships don't happen, or at least don't last, without sexual physical attraction.

    • Whatever...

  • So you have sex with someone you're not attracted to? You kiss someone you don't find hot? You touch a body that doesn't make you wet? That's kinda sad.

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    • To you maybe, I'm not shallow...

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    • I agree with you, its sad for her and the guy, I also agree with the guy above, it makes herva type of prostitute, wanting to be attracted to your partner isn't shallow, if looks don't matter and you can take non physical traits then what stops you from dating other women? What makes you heterosexual? As you date for non gender specific traits.

    • @fuuuark How the fuck is it sad? Dan I get blasted for having an opinon! Sad my ass!

  • i know right! i date a deaf guy who couldn't talk. Sammy. i knew sign language so i was his only friend. he was really sweet. he would bring flowers into school and buy me lunch, anything i wanted. one day he proposed. I, of course, said yes. my friends said i was in year 9 and he wasn't hot at all and i should date a guy who could talk, i stopped being friends with them

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  • Because they have a hard time understanding that not everyone wants a hot guy with a shit personality. Some of us can find someone sexually attractive just on personality alone. Sure, you can put a hot guy in front of us and we'd admit to him being good looking, but that doesn't mean we find him sexually attractive in any sort of way. :T

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  • You are obviously VERY DIFFERENT to me x 1000000000000000.
    Peace xo

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  • Well even then, you can still be physically attracted to them if you're in love. if you love them for their personality it will make them physically appealing. that's why there is a condition where a sense of humor or intelligence can be a turn on for some people.

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  • Lots of variety from one human to the next, but I need to be physically attracted to a man to be interested in dating him. I don't care if he fits society's definition of what's supposed to be attractive, but he has to be attractive to me. So maybe people assume women need to be physically attracted to a man 'cause they know lots of women like me.

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    • That's sad they do

    • Not sure why it's more sad that people care about physical characteristics than about personality or culture or economic or any other characteristics. I have a strong bias against men who don't speak English, and that's a pretty minor characteristic of who a person is, but since it's my only fluent language, I'm not willing to date someone I can't talk to. I guess that's also sad and the world would be a happier place if none of us had any limitations and we could all happily date whoever is the next person we bump into, but that seems not to be the way attraction works.

  • Look for me as long as he looks like a solid man i can count on, i am fine. Don t really like pretty boys though.

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  • All women are different. Some women go for looks, some go for personality, but a lot I for both.

    I personally go for both, but looks are what makes me interested in being more than friends with a guy.

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  • You're in the minority. Most people need attraction in the equation.

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    • Well I am not most people, never have been

  • Looks aren't everything. But they certainly are a whole lot. I couldn't date someone I wasn't physically attracted to

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  • I have a hard time believing this. I believe you're attracted to a persons personality, but just like everyone else it was their looks that drew you in. I guarantee you wouldn't go for an ugly guy with a good personality. You wouldn't bother to get to know an ugly guys personality unless you knew each other for a while. Even then you'd end up just being friends. There has to be sexual attraction for a relationship.

    When you say you care about personality, you mean you just don't want a hot guy who is an asshole. You'll take the hot guy who is nice.

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  • I've never wanted to bang a guys personality

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  • I need to be physically attracted to a man too not just personality

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  • I have the same problem as you. Why am I calling it a problem? Because it's easier to find someone attractive, rather than to find someone who has the qualities you're looking for in a human-being.

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  • I'm a personality woman as well but if I am not attracted to at least one physical trait of theirs then I will not pursue them. Physical attraction is the very last thing I look for but its still there. I dated someone who I found attractive due to his personality but he was not attractive physically at all. His appearance was kind of ugly. Needless to say, it didn't last long. I had no sexual desire because his appearance turned me off.

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    • I don't understand that, that's just shallow in my opinion

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    • I hate shallow, it's not me

    • Yeah, but you shouldn't hate on people who are. After all, a preference isn't something you can control.

  • Well it depends on the person. Some people don't care about looks at all, some care only a little, and some care only about looks. To me, it's more like 30% looks and 70% personality. I wouldn't mind dating a guy who looks slightly below average if he has a great personality.

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