I have really messed up with my boyfriend and I am in agony not knowing if he'll take me back. About a month ago, we had a fight and I was emotional and reacted on those emotions. .. I messaged some of his family members talking sh*t about him. I immediately regretted it. He just now found out about it and is understandably upset with me. He wanted details of what I had said, so since I was being open with him, I also told him that when we first started dating, I contacted his ex-girlfriend to find out if he was an ok guy. I have trust issues and was so afraid of getting screwed over.
I know what I did was stupid and I wish I could take it all back. I have never done something like this and it's very uncharacteristic of me. He said he is "processing everything " and we're on a break right now. I am so in love with him and am praying he will give me another chance. Is there anything I can do to help earn his forgiveness? Do you think he CAN forgive me?
Let me start by saying every man is different. Some may forgive, while others won't. It's obvious to everyone that he has reason to be upset here. I'd give him some time to cool his head and think things over. I can't guarantee that he will forgive you. Do I think he should? Yes AND no. Depending on what you said, it may not be enough for him to forgive you. I'd like to think he would be willing to eventually get over it, like I think I would. But like I said before: every man is different. I guess just apologize when you can and hope for the best. That's really all you can do. The rest is up to him. I suppose you could try making his life easier in certain ways to try to make amends. But if you're on a break, then I suppose that may be a little more difficult to do if he's not near you every day (you don't live together).
Tell him how much he really means to you, then ask him if he can forgive and if you guys can move on from this. If he says yes, let your walls down a bit, but if he says no then he isn't worth your time. You have to be able to forgive your partner.