My boyfriend admitted he would date other people?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year. Yesterday i took him out to a very fancy dinner to celebrate his birthday. While we were waiting for dessert he was showing me a feature on Facebook how you could do specific searches like all photos liked by me or status i commented on... etc. I think its pretty cool so i do it to and were both showing each other comparing all the photos weve like in the past. On one particular picture he liked a while ago he pauses and says oh i almost forgot who the girl in the bikini was ( among a ton of other photos he liked of her). I said oh who is she he said I went to school with her. I had a huge crush on her but she didn't like me back. I jokingly said oh so you totally want to date her. His response was well I'm dating you and plus you know it's like Hailey Williams from Paramore, you totally know I'd date her if I was single. I said but Hailey is a celebrity this girl is not so technically you just admitted you'd date her and he said if I was single yea of course.
I couldn't believe he said it. I was completely stunned. The only thing i could say was you shouldn't have said that. I could barely look at him or eat the dessert. The night was ruined. Our relationship has been wonderful until this. It was then that i realized i was the type of girl he just settled for. Not so much as i pursued her and won her over. But something she happened to reciprocate so sure ill date her. Im still feeling so hurt. I dont know what to do. Im at his place because he is having an official get together with his friends to celebrate his birthday so i can't just leave.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a slightly boneheaded and insensitive remark from him... but think about it for a second.

    If he was single, he'd date someone who wasn't you? WOW! If you were single, you'd date someone who wasn't him, too!

    Don't think of yourself as the girl he settled for. She's way out of his league, she's a fantasy but is so far out of his league she wants nothing to do with him. You think he'd still be with you after a year, that the relationship would have been wonderful for so long, if he didn't actually like you?

    It'll take a while for you to get over this, but I don't doubt for a second he loves you and wants to be with you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's being honest, that sounds totally fine. It might make you a little insecure but he never said he would dump you and go for her instead. He's just saying that if he didn't have you, then he'd be okay with her. That's not a bad thing.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well, at least he's honest. He's not going to leave you. Sure, you may feel insecure or hurt because you don't want to be known as the consolation prize. However, you're the best that he can do. If he could do better, he would have, and vice versa. If you could do better, than you would have to. Everyone settles for someone because of either a physical or social or economical barrier/ ceiling. The most important thing to remember is that he cares for you.

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  • I think the key thing to keep in mind is he was talking about a hypothetical "if I was single" scenario... he probably didn't expect you to be offended, but I can understand why it's making you feel that way. It was an awkward convo but don't get too hung up on it... try to see it from his point of view and realize he didn't mean anything about how he feels about YOU.

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  • Definitely a dumb remark on his part. You didn't really ask a question but i think guys are pretty notorious for saying stupid things without thinking just like that.

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What Girls Said 0

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