Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year. Yesterday i took him out to a very fancy dinner to celebrate his birthday. While we were waiting for dessert he was showing me a feature on Facebook how you could do specific searches like all photos liked by me or status i commented on... etc. I think its pretty cool so i do it to and were both showing each other comparing all the photos weve like in the past. On one particular picture he liked a while ago he pauses and says oh i almost forgot who the girl in the bikini was ( among a ton of other photos he liked of her). I said oh who is she he said I went to school with her. I had a huge crush on her but she didn't like me back. I jokingly said oh so you totally want to date her. His response was well I'm dating you and plus you know it's like Hailey Williams from Paramore, you totally know I'd date her if I was single. I said but Hailey is a celebrity this girl is not so technically you just admitted you'd date her and he said if I was single yea of course.
I couldn't believe he said it. I was completely stunned. The only thing i could say was you shouldn't have said that. I could barely look at him or eat the dessert. The night was ruined. Our relationship has been wonderful until this. It was then that i realized i was the type of girl he just settled for. Not so much as i pursued her and won her over. But something she happened to reciprocate so sure ill date her. Im still feeling so hurt. I dont know what to do. Im at his place because he is having an official get together with his friends to celebrate his birthday so i can't just leave.
Most Helpful Guy
It's a slightly boneheaded and insensitive remark from him... but think about it for a second.
If he was single, he'd date someone who wasn't you? WOW! If you were single, you'd date someone who wasn't him, too!
Don't think of yourself as the girl he settled for. She's way out of his league, she's a fantasy but is so far out of his league she wants nothing to do with him. You think he'd still be with you after a year, that the relationship would have been wonderful for so long, if he didn't actually like you?
It'll take a while for you to get over this, but I don't doubt for a second he loves you and wants to be with you.0
Most Helpful Girl
He's being honest, that sounds totally fine. It might make you a little insecure but he never said he would dump you and go for her instead. He's just saying that if he didn't have you, then he'd be okay with her. That's not a bad thing.0