Why do people think I'm shallow for this?

I won't date a guy who drinks alcohol, smokes tobacco OR weed, or does any other drug. I like my man to be HEALTHY. Plus, I like to work out and people who partake in the above substances are lazy. I also diet and this would clearly ruin my diet and it proves they don't care about their diet.

People tell me I'm "shallow" all the time. Why? I'm shallow because I want a guy to live a healthy lifestyle? Go ahead and have fun killing yourself.

  • Yes, you're shallow
    14% (4)20% (6)17% (10)Vote
  • No, not at all! You want a guy who isn't a lazy, unhealthy slob
    86% (24)80% (24)83% (48)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well let's look at Merriam-Webster's Dictionary's definition of "Shallow", (in terms of DATING.)

    "Shallow (adj) not caring about or involving serious or important things."

    I don't see how someone else's health is important in terms of DATING. You can be completely compatible with someone who is unhealthy and be completely incompatible with someone who is healthy. The two are completely unrelated.

    I can see your point of view here, since these are lifestyle choices but you're assuming just because someone does one of the following they're automatically "unhealthy" or "lazy." It depends on how frequent, and even then there are exceptions.

    My uncle is an exception. He has no health problems at all at the age of 57. He's been smoking cigarettes every day since he was a kid, he drinks alcohol almost every day, he's done his share of drugs, yet, no health problems (rare exception but it does happen.)

    You assume so much. You sound narrow-minded (and this is coming from someone completely sober on all counts.)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is nothing shallow about wanting someone who shares the same values as you. Actually, it's really selfish to date people whose values don't align and then try to change them...

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What Guys Said 15

  • I like having a few beers when I go out, maybe a little whisky while relaxing on a Sunday afternoon, wine with dinner. I've also been given the odd cigarette while I've been out drinking with friends (but I don't smoke, and so my total consumption of cigarettes is maybe three a year, often less).

    I also go to the gym twice a week, ride my mountain bike in excess of 50km every weekend, and my bodyfat percentage is 14.

    I wouldn't say you're shallow so much as a conceited, ignorant fool. And likely a troll too, but there you go.

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    • Like I said to the other girl on here, I can understand if it's in EXTREME moderation but most males are over indulgent pigs when it comes to booze (and food for that matter.)

    • The incredibly negative and loaded way you express your preferences is a contributing factor to people thing you're shallow.

  • I don't have an issue with your preferences but I DO have an issue that you feel that every guy who drinks alcohol or smokes tobacco/weed is lazy.

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  • Nope, you're refusing to date guys based on lifestyle choices. Bassically things they have control over. I don't see how that is shallow.

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    • But it's unrelated to dating, so I definitely think it's shallow.

      Most people on here need a vocabulary lesson. Do you know the DEFINITION of being shallow?(In the context of dating)

    • @EnglishArtsteacher
      No one cares what you think. Go be an English snob somewhere else.

      "Shallow (adj) not caring about or involving serious or important things."

      Maybe it's important to her to have someone who lives a similar lifestyle. Maybe she's grossed out by kissing someone who chews tobacco or smokes. Maybe she has a history of alcohol addiction in her family and wants to limit temptations by dating non-drinkers. It's up to her to decide.

      What's considered important varies from person to person. What she considers important, you might consider silly and vice versa.

  • Yay, there's someone like you. I don't drink, smoke, or do any drug and I would love to date someone like you.

    That's not shallow at all. It's a preference, and a good one at that.

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  • You would rule out Bud Light or Chickelob (Michelob Ultra Light)? Those aren't beer, it beer flavored water that won't get most guys drunk; at those who have any tolerance level. People who drink beer just on social occasions can't be generalized as being "lazy".

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  • I agree with you with everything I wouldn't date a girl who did that stuff other than drinking, I don't drink myself but if she wanted to I don't have a proven with that but smoking or drugs? Big no no for me

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  • You have your preference on who you want date i don't see you being shallow.

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  • Would you date a guy who smoked weed but worked out and ate healthy?

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    • No, because weed is unhealthy too. Smoked lungues don't do a body good.

  • Most of that is normal other than the alcohol part, thats kinda strange, what's makes you think that people that drink are lazy?

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    • Most of it is actually abnormal. Most people I know either smoke weed, cigarettes or drink (or all three-They go hand in hand) and they have no problem getting dates.

    • I've never smoked or done drugs, i have drunk though

  • It sounds more like you are concerned about the impacts it would have on YOU above any other reason so perhaps you come across as selfish?

    Also, you believe people who drink alcohol are inherently lazy? I think the century may not be for you XD

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  • I'm that kind of guy I don't smoke or drink and u work out

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  • depends... is a pint of beer a week bad? do as you please, it's your own life.

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  • I won't date women that do that so its your prerogative to be as picky as you want to be..

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  • In highscool I excelled at both wrestling and football, while partaking in weed and alcohol. These do not make you lazy and I was and still am in better shape then 98% of other guys.

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  • I'm kind of the same way. I won't date a smoker or a drug user, and if she drinks, it has to be in moderation. Someone who drinks until she passes out every night wouldn't be the right person for me.

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    • Nobody deserves to be raped.

What Girls Said 11

  • That's not shallow, that's called having standards. Nothing wrong with that.

    I won't date a smoker or heavy drinker either. Smoking stinks, it's unhealthy, and the smoke can stick to your hair and clothes as a result of being around them. Plus second hand smoking is dangerous too. Drinking excessive alcohol is usually a sign that addiction may become a problem or he doesn't know how to show you a good time without alcohol in his system. That's lame and will surely be troublesome later on. Health is really important. There's nothing wrong with wanting a long term partner who makes healthy choices.

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    • Well second hand smoking is a myth. I mean there would be no point of being a non-smoker, right? I never did believe that. Although I don't want people blowing smoke in my face. Alcohol kills you just as easy too. I hate druggies too.

    • Nah it's not a myth. There are people who have resulted with serious health problems from being around smokers.

  • It's not shallow to have preferences. You just want a guy who doesn't destroy his body. I get it :)

    Out of curiosity, does a guy have to drink no alcohol at all? Or just not drink to excess? I don't see a problem with one drink every now and then, but hey that's just me lol.

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  • Well I wouldn't say its shallow but I know plenty of adults who drink and aren't lazy your second sentence is completely untrue for some people

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    • But how OFTEN do they drink? I can understand if a guy drinks once every blue moon (sure, go ahead) but most males are over indulgent pigs when it comes to booze (and food or that matter.)

      My second sentence is "I like my man to be HEALTHY." I know that's untrue for SOME people but I'M not one of them.

    • Show All
    • @Marshmellowking Actually, you DID say her "second sentence" but I think you confused it with her third sentence.

      I agree it's stupid to assume people who drink are lazy but to assume a majority of HEAVY drinkers are lazy is actually... factual.

    • @EnglishArtsteacher yeah third but I'm saying normal drinkers not alchohalics

  • Doesn't make you shallow. Kind of makes you look ignorant tho. You're generalizing. That's just like saying that every fatime person you see is a slob that sits around eating all day. It's ok to want a healthy guy. But saying that all guys that partake in those activities are unhealthy slobs isn't cool. You come off pretty crass. But to answer your question, no. You're not shallow.

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  • I don't think it is shallow at all. I don't think it is too much too ask to have someone that fits into your lifestyle.

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  • You're not shallow.

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  • How the fuck is that shallow?

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  • That's not shallow at all.

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  • i think they are referring to something else then what you put down

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  • You sound like a buzzkiller yes, but no it's not shallow.

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  • That's not shallow. That's normal

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