We tend to overthink, because we're afraid of being hurt. We've most likely been hurt in the past and don't want to go through it again, so, we start to overthink the simplest things that are right in front of us, so that we avoid it. Question is, how to get over that fear? The best way to do that is to just face it. The only way to get over a fear is to face it.
Were you a cheerleader? I know, weird question but, you look like you could have been one in high school and or college or pro. I'da asked you it in private messages but, you profile is private so I can't unless we follow each other, so, thought I would just ask it
How they think they have to react to situations. How they actually feel about situations etc.
With this in mind it can be maddening to know how to talk to a girl especially if you are, for lack of a better phrase, hit on her. Do you use a cheesy pick up line? If you do she might not like it, or she might like it but feel like society expects her to not like it. Do you play the strong and silent type? If you do she might not notice you at all, or you might come across as creepy.
Best case scenario you aren't in a bar but a more natural setting like in a group of friends or in class/work and can become friendly acquaintances first. After you get to know each other a little then it is less difficult to know what the other person might like or not like or if you should ask them out.
No I try and take things in stride or at face value. I feel like overthinking a situation or action is a waste of time and just brings more confusion to the situation... I'll just go with my first/gut instinct.
Some studies show that the more free time we have on our hands, he more we tend to over think things. I guess the solution to overthinking is to stay busy. Now, if you are too busy, do you under think things? dc:
used to. no more pedestal for me though. if anything i always doubt women very heavily, its usually pretty accurate.
always expect they're full of themselves, always expect they overestimate their bodies, always expect that their other personality traits are limited and occluded by their ideas about sex. always expect that sex with them will not be nearly as great as they and other guys think it will. and if you are pleasantly surprised, you are pleasantly surprised
Sometimes. Definitely not as much as the women I've dated. I remember one girl I dated who was 5 years older than me and we went to a movie and she told me she didn't remember a thing from the whole movie because she was too nervous.
I overthink when I panic because I realize how much I care about the guy. That's when I start thinking about things, especially if it's a guy who doesn't live in the same area as me. It doesn't help I'm a jealous person about things sometimes, especially being paired with some insecurities.
There's a small list of things that goes through my head when I'm feeling particularly insecure in general:
- He found someone else - I'm boring, there are probably at least 5 other girls he talks to he's more interested in - I'm not the only one he says these things to, I'm not special - I'm not the only one who calls him this, it's not special to him like it is to me - He's not talking much, he'd clearly rather spend his time doing other things / talking to someone else than talk to me - I'm not enough. I don't do it for him anymore.
Depending on the nature of the relationship with the guy, I'll voice some if not most or all of these insecurities. But even after he's reassured me that I am enough or that I DO do it for him, I still have small lingering thoughts of inadequacy.
Usually the insecurities only pop up when enduring long bouts of silence between decent conversations with a guy, though.
What do you mean exactly by over think and ahead of yourself... Could you give an example? Thanks:)
I think through things thouroughly- when warranted as in complex situations or unfamiliar circumstance or circumstance when there's an ethical conflict- bc I like to be prepared to handle unexpected unexpected Situations or being unsure as to what course of action to take or decions to make. But I don't see it as I rethinking I see it as being methodical and reasonable. Prefer that to jumping to conclusions getting carried away and shoving my head up my ass lol ;)