What does it mean when a guy uses you for sex?

I mean obviously he wants sex, but is it because he's at least attracted to you? Finds you stunning looking? Like they don't want a relationship, they just want sex, that's obvious but do they even think of you as a friend or think you're attractive? Or would a guy use any girl. I never got this

Updates:
Here's more info:
Known him since jr high. He lost his virginity to me back then. We spoke on the phone and stuff but he was the "quiet" "nerdy" type. Anyway, throughout the years he'll reach out on Facebook and ask how in doing. We lived our separate lives though and we've met up once in a blue. One time we had sex the other time we just hung out but we didn't continue seeing eachother. It's like he's just go missing and he'd come out of the blue again
So this happened a couple of times, and sometimes I'd go a year or so without speaking with him. So in total we've known eachother for about 13 years. Though, we've never really spent that much time hanging out until this summer. he contacted me on FB and I text him on his phone and we just started hanging out from there. We'd hangout have sex, and then he didn't call or text much afterwards. He would but every few days. I didn't like that and told him we needed to move on as I didn't want it to

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You aren't going to even consider having sex with someone you aren't attracted to. Every guy attracted to the girl he's focused on will find something, anything, about the girl that is "stunning" to him. If a guy is going after you only for sex, you'll definitely know within a couple days to a couple weeks if you are seeing him regularly.

    That will, of course, be different if you are sleeping with him right off the bat. This is why mothers tell their daughters to play "hard to get," to weed out those who're only looking for a good time and nothing more.

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    • I still can't tell even after all of these years

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    • Why do u say he's using me like a violin when I want sex too?

    • I don't know I had a female friend get told by a guy after he had sex with her that he could get better looking girls than her and he told her that he only had Sex with her because he was there
      I think guys do have sex with girls because they are available to have sex she doesn't always have to be attractive to the guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if you're interested in just sex from him too honestly I've was there a few times I didn't felt anything different I got mine fun he got his fun I never got attached to anyone.

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What Guys Said 21

  • Most guys who use a girl for sex definitely find her attractive physically, and they might also find her to be fun and sexually exciting.

    Yes, there are a few desperate guys who will bang absolutely anything that stands still long enough, but they are the exception. Average guys only want to bang girls they find attractive - she doesn't have to be a 9 or 10, but she can't be a 2 or 3 either, and usually, it's girls the guy finds "better than average."

    But guys also can separate sex from love/romance/emotional connections in a way that most women can't, and most women struggle to truly understand and accept that men CAN and DO do this, even if they know it intellectually - just as men are often confused why women are "always trying to turn sex into a relationship" or "why women can't just be happy with sex." It's hard to accept that other people think totally differently than you do - but if you don't accept that as being true, you'll always make bad assumptions based on your misunderstanding of their thinking.

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    • here's a little info:

      I've known this guy since jr high and he lost his virginity to me. We're in our twenties now. throughout the years we loved our own lives, he would once in a blue send me a message on Facebook asking how I was. Sometimes when we would meet, we would go out, and then we would talk and then I wojkdnt hear from him. And then we don't talk for months. It happened this way a few times the last given years. We've had sex sometimes too when we met up. Anyway, fast forward. The past couple of monrhs we've been hanging our quite often and having sex. In the beginning, he I guess was playing, because he didn't call/text me often after we've had sex. I would hear from him every few days. Then the more we hung out, the more I started to like him. I told him I didn't like not hearing from him and that maybe we should move on because I don't want it to be just about sex. We continued having sex sometimes I'd initiate it and sometimes he

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    • Great advice by the wayside. If just like your input on what does it seems like he wants from me given what I said

    • That's a whole lot more information to go on... But it's still not definitive. I suspect that he likes you, but I'm not fully convinced that he really wants a relationship, or I think he'd push harder for one. He may just be talking about it to keep the sex flowing - but he could also just lack some confidence and be afraid of you rejecting him. So, it's hard to say.

      The bottom line is: what do YOU want? Figure that out, and then have a talk with him and tell him.

  • If a girl offers sex on a plate, no guy is going to refuse, unless the girl is really unsuitable for some reason. I can never understand this idea of being a "fuckbuddy". Is sex really that worthless that it can be given away just like that?

    As far as I can tell, there doesn't have to be any attraction either emotional or physical. It's only sexual.

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  • If you're looking for a definitive answer from us, don't, because you'll never get it. If it really bothers you, sit him down and talk about it. I know confrontation can be scary but it's better than being in the state that you are of having unanswered questions. There's a large variety of reasons why he'd only be using you for sex (if you're in fact certain that's what he's doing). He could be avoiding a relationship, find you physically attractive but not relationship type, just be sex deprived, wanting to have a relationship but not knowing how to express himself... I can go on all night. Point is, talk to him.

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  • A doubt anyone would continue to have sex with somebody they are not attracted to

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  • I'm guessing he would find you attractive. As for his reasons, he might feel lonely or nostalgic and remember good memories with you. He may view you as a friend or it may have been more about the sex. I guess it really depends on how distant you guys became. It sounds like you were doing the initiating and he was responding. In this case I think he should be aware that he can either keep in contact he shouldn't be expecting a response.

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    • Continuing from my update.. I had told him how I didn't want it to be just about sex and he responded with "I can't help but be so attracted to me and how he loves my personality and spending time with me and how happy I make him". I don't know if he's just saying that to get some. But anyway, after that we continued to have sex. He would say things like "could you see yourself being with a man like me" or asking when we're going to get married... Things like that. So I'm not really sure

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    • I don't know of any. He says that he enjoys being alone (he's introverted) but I really don't know anything else. He's also liked when woman are dominant in bed ever since in jr high. I remember he wanted me to push him against the wall and now he would say things like "punch him in the face already" or punish him... It's creepy lol

    • Given what I said. Does he sound like he's into me?

  • Because they can. I mean, they do it if the girl is attractive enough and she lets them. Not all men are like that, i don't include myself in that group, but the ones that use girls for sex is because they can.

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    • Attractive enough? I feel like guys only use girls who are average looking :( is this true?

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    • This is not looks related, it's character related.

    • But I'm awesome lol

  • it means nothing, because the idea of being "used" for something is stupid. you're not a tool, you're a sentient human being, and no one is debating that, least of all him. its sex, not rape--you're both consenting adults, participating in something that need not be defined outside of the context of itself, and its also an act that is inherently pleasurable, so complaining about being used for sex is like complaining about being used for eating ice cream, its fucking stupid, so what, maybe you're not satisfied with a single scoop of vanilla ice cream, maybe you want the whipped cream and a cherry on top too, but its stupid and entitled to smack that out of someones hand and demand more like they're somehow using you for it. if you want more out of your relationship maybe ask politely and at least appreciate what you got--eat your dessert before you demand more dessert

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  • He just sees you as a vessel for his pleasure, and doesn't want to commit to you because he probably doesn't think you are worth committing to.

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    • Why? Is it because I'm easy it personality? I know I'm funny smart and I've been told

    • Every man will have his own reasons, he might be delusional or thinks he can do better,
      if you have a sense of humor and exude intelligence, you might find someone who thinks those qualities are worth committing too!

  • It means he doesn't have to work at it to have sex with you; that you are easy.

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  • it means you are easy so they have sex with you.

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  • That he's using you for sex. Self explanatory.

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  • Most of the time he's just going to use any girl.

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  • Well fine, you guys are fuck buddies. Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't seem like either of you is interested in a relationship, unless there's something you aren't telling us.

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  • I can't even get hard for women I am not attracted to.

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  • he's using u for a confidence boost. men feel more like a man when they have sex with a woman. your his rebound girl. men need girls like you to be strong in life. but thats only if u ask me

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    • Why do u say rebound girl? I like having sex just as much lol

    • ofcourse you like sex silly. lol but a rebound girl is a girl u fuck to get back in the game. ;)

    • He doesn't even know how to spell game lol doubt it

  • it means your just a object

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  • your a hoe... what more you want?

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  • The girl is unlucky and was with a jerk

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  • it means he uses u for sex

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  • Horny + selfish.

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  • a woman lived with me and she paid her rent in sex. No feelings at all these just smooth skin and a nice enough body. Was there whenever I wanted the sex. Wouldn't take her any where, introduced her to very few people and was in love with another woman at the time.

    So that's basically using a girl for sex.

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What Girls Said 10

  • It means this: on one hand, you are getting lucky. That's a good thing, generally speaking. Sex tends to make people happy. On the other hand, you clearly feel used. Sex that makes you feel used is never sex as it should be. They call it 'making love' because the very act of it should make you feel loved--regardless of whether you are IN love with your partner or not. If you are intimate enough with a man to sleep with him, you are intimate enough to tell him what you want. Just do it in a way that lets him know that you appreciate him as a lover.

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  • guys don't care how pretty you are, when they use you for sex they are literally just using you. they could care less about who you are as a person or how you look. a guy would use almost ANY girl. they say they wouldn't but the majority of fuckboys would without a doubt.

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  • They would and have used any girl. Even girls they don't like and aren't attracted to. Especially girls with a reputation for being easy or doing things most girls won't

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  • For whatever reason, he doesn't take you seriously.

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    • He doesn't take me seriously in what way?

  • He just wants your v. I would think he would think you're at least somewhat attractive. Can't imagine someone having sex with someone who they thought was unattractive or revolting.

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  • You're an object to him. You're a sex toy. Probably a pretty one in his eyes. But nothing more.

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  • He finds you sexually appealing

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  • It means they don't respect you and I think that most guys use women who they find unattractive for sex. I'm not saying they think she's ugly but if she's not their type they will use her for sex and date girls still.

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    • A girl does not have to be pretty for the guy to fuck her

    • Guys will use any girl for sex as long as she's willing

  • He's physically attracted to you.

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  • No, a man won't use a woman for sex. But, a boy pretending to be a man will.

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    • Very true

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    • You should not think that way. Some men are just like that. You as a young lady should know your worth. You are the prize not him. Also, men will do whatever you allow them to do no matter how pretty you are. So, what I want to say is. Gain self confidence tell him you are worthy of so much more than what he wants to give. Please if he don't see that move on. Their is a guy out there that will treat you like a queen and you won't have to question he's true intentions because he will make them none ever chance he gets

    • What if I don't want to be in a relationship but still want him to treat me like a queen?

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