Would you stay with someone if they were going into the military?

I just started seeing this girl and honestly, out of all women i've ever been with, she's the first one that really has caught my eye. she's beautiful, funny, smart, and has her shit together. But she's joining the military. I've never been with someone i've clicked so well with so this sucks. Were not totally sure when she will be leaving. But she's taking her tests, and she's really serious about it.

Should i just leave? I really dont want to.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you should leave. Especially after the way you describe how you feel. Support her, be with her while she's here and then see how the ldr goes. Good luck!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just because they are joining the military doesn't mean they are going to be off on deployments all the time. During the 9 or so weeks of basic (depending on what branch) there will be a communication blackout. After she will have like a few days or more (sometimes less depends on the MOS) of leave before going to AIT, unless she is OSUT. During that time, she will have the ability to text, Skype, call, email, etc. However, after all of the training she is going to get stationed somewhere. 90% change in America, unless she requests an overseas station, whereby she will be free to pursue her relationship with you. Its not the end of the world, or relationship just because someone is joining the military.

    I mean, I do know people that have maintained relationships through the military process so I know it works. I also know people who have decided it doesn't work. I, however, hope that my girlfriend would be able to stay with me when I go off to the military.

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What Girls Said 13

  • If you believe in your ability to remain faithful to her while she's gone, then stay with her. If you don't think you can handle that, do her the favor and break it off so she doesn't have that added stress of you being unfaithful to her while she's gone.

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  • I wouldn't date someone who has those plans or is in the military. Most military people are super prone to cheating. If you don't mind please answer my question ! I would appreciate it!

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  • its hard but if its right, it can work.

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  • Depends on how much I like or love the person. If the person doesn't mean much to me then yeah because if things work out then I'll be worried about them all the time & I already live away from most of my family & it sucks & I can't handle it.

    But if I love the person then it'll be hard to leave them, I wouldn't.

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  • I wouldn't date someone who has a plan to join military in future..

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  • if she won't be gone for long, give it a chance, if she will be, it will for sure be too hard. my aunt was given up for adoption because her birth mother had an affair while her husband was deployed, i would stay single if you are apart from each other for a long time. or just take a break and find out if you can live without each other. if you can't, then you better stay with her because buddy i think you found the one.

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  • After the way you described her, I wouldn't. You seem like you really like her. As long as you can remain faithful while she's gone. In all honesty, I know I'm not the type of woman to be able to date or marry a military man. Being faithful isn't what it's all about. I know I could. But I'm not a strong enough person. Emotionally that is. I say stay with her. As long as you know you'll stay faithful and are a strong enough person! :) good luck!

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  • No. Don't leave her. To be honest, it sounds like you love her. You should so stay with her!!

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    • Not that I can tell, but who would consider staying with someone who's joining the military if you don't like them ALOT!!

  • Keep her. If it's meant to be it will happen.

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  • Can I just say as a female in the military that has gone through this... The men that you encounter end up disgusting you. We shit talk each other so bad at times like brother and sister. It's not like they are attractive as well. Military men are hoes, I hope she realizes this. For what it is worth, if you really are scared of losong her... Promise ring. Give her something that shows you're serious. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out but at least you had the balls to try.

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  • You barely started seeing this girl, so I doubt she would expect you to stay.
    Having a significant other isn't in her plans right now. She is focused on reaching her goals and becoming a soldier.

    I would be hesitant to try and keep a romantic relationship with her right now, but I suggest you remain friends with her. She will need someone to be supportive during basic training.

    I know this from experience because I've dated a future soldier too.

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  • Yes I would but it will be very tough

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  • Dont leave if you dont want to!!!
    I don't regret staying around for my now fiance :)!!!
    Its all about trust and communication! Its hard but you never know where it could lead the both of you have trust and faith!

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What Guys Said 17

  • Explain why you feel like leaving?

    You absolutely love/adore her, the sex will be explosive before she goes and when she returns. The benefits will be excellent, the military does not last forever, military officers can take their partners with them, she will understand more than most that freedom in your life should not be limited and she will want to enjoy every moment when she is not serving...

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    • Because i dont want to gain feelings for someone for them to just leave me. Im not the type to do that, because i already like her a lot. And not many girls are like her. But she's a very gorgeous female and she's gonna be surrounded by a lot of men for months. I don't know man. I dont wanna kill my emotional self for her to just leave and go cheat.

    • Show All
    • Yes because she's also the first girl to show me loyalty. Every woman i've been with has cheated on me. Not saying she will, because i trust her. She has always been good to me. Still crosses my mind that she may cheat though..

    • if she's a good woman. with good character, she won't cheat on you, trust her

  • Why? just because she joined the military doesn't mean you two need to break up, my who family is full of soldiers all of which of happy marriages all throughout their service.

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  • Just because she is joining the military doesn't mean she is deploying. It can work out especially if you have a strong two way relationship.

    That being said you should go to the meetings that periodically come up that the military provides for couples. It helps you avoid common pitfalls of couples in relationships when one or both is on the military.

    Be prepared that it is a common occurrence for adultery in the military. It does put a strain on couples for a variety of reasons.

    -a soldier

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  • Nooe.. take it from someone that's been in the military. Leads to infidelity and depression. When you are in the military you go through a lot of mental trauma and develop a lot of emotional issues that you won't know how to deal with initally. A civilian wouldn't understand. Just my take.

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  • You're young. She's young. She's going to be surrounded by guys in the best shape of their lives. Fear is an aphrodisiac. You're going to be horney while she's gone. Until you are engaged before she leaves (and even then) I give your relationship a 5% shot. I probably being overly generous.

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    • That said, the "don't *** where you eat" rule applies, especially when "fraternization" is grounds for discharge.

    • @Curmudgeon i know that's the rule, and a good one. Want to take bets on how often its broken? I got some money go put down. Do You?

  • yes, I would stay with her, what does her being in the military have anything to do with it. It sounds like you got yourself a catch, be happy for her that she is getting this opportunity. If it concerns you so much, why not consider moving close to her in the future when you guys are more into the relationship, not now.

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  • What makes you want to leave? Just because she's joining the military doesn't mean you need to break up. Yes, it will be very hard on the relationship especially if something happens to her. But it depends on whether you are capable of coping with her possible death or very bad injuries.

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  • Yes I would.

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  • hell no. all the women I meet who did service were massive sluts. id never be with a military chick or a chick whos been with a military guy.

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  • NO. a big fat no.

    wifes, girls. will cheat on you when you get called in. Don't trust none of them. They'll pray for you not to return to get that insurance money.

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  • 90% of people in military cheat, im telling you this cause I've seen it with my own eyes get rid of her before you hurt yourself

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  • military guys will be all over her trying to... blow her ( or the other way around ) no offense

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  • My mother was in the military.
    Stay

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  • I'd start dating other girls.

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  • i would leave them so hard

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  • If you both really like each other, then you should stay with her.

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  • I think I would. Of course it all depends.

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