Is it called mentally cheating? is there such a thing?

If a girl in a relationship (engaged), has a hugh crush on guy, thinks about him a lot, texts him a lot, flirts with him, blushes around him, exposes her self near him (bends over, reveales more skin... ) goes where ever he goes, stares at him, every time he pays attention to some other girl, she gets all agressive and mean.

Is it called mentally cheating? is there such a thing?

Updates:
If you knew your partner was doing this, would you breakup or ask them to stop talking to this guy/girl?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • yes absolutely and its not mental if you're texting him. if you're really serious you should never regularly text another guy or girl besides your partner

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    • Exactly.
      by the way, the girl im talking about, is not me in case you were wondering ;)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, it's no longer considered mentally, or even emotionally cheating if she's ACTIVELY doing things to get the attention of the guy she's crushing on.

    If I knew if my partner was doing this, I'd assess how often and how severely he's displaying signs/behaviors of doing this. In my case, this has happened to me...

    I was in a relationship and I started sensing that he was ALWAYS talking about one of my close friends at the time. Then, I started noticing that he'd seek her advice a lot, instead of asking me. I told that friend that I think he is acting strangely and, specifically, that he talks about her a lot. I knew my friend for a long time and knew that she absolutely hated him, that's why I felt comfortable telling her that he kept talking about her, and I was even honest with her and told her that I think he might be developing feelings for her. I wasn't worried how she would respond to him because I already knew that she absolutely hated & couldn't stand him. Long story short, I broke it off with him, telling him that I already knew his heart was with someone else. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. It's a waste of everyone's time and emotions. He did admit to having feelings for my friend. So, that's where we ended. It seems he never moved on from liking her (he's remained single for 4 years now), even though my friend is happily married to someone else and has a child.

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What Guys Said 21

  • Why do you need to put a label on it? If she's engaged and is doing those things it's wrong, and she should know it's wrong. If she's like that now, the future of that marriage looks pretty bleak. She should break off the engagement because she's not ready for marriage. She needs to get her act together before committing to marriage.

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    • she was ready to leave her boyfriend for him, but he didn't want her.
      she's afraid to be alone, so she married him.

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    • @Asker
      I am sure this will be a successful and happy marriage. I don't see how it could fail.

    • @asker that just makes it even all the more worse.

  • The real question is, why are you with the guy you are engaged to.

    Acting in the manner you describe, you are not emotionally connected to the one whose ring you wear.

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    • That stupid bitch is my co worker.

  • While you can argue that you aren't being "sexually unfaithful" (the dictionary definition of cheating), you are allowing yourself to share sexual feeling and desires with another man, so I think it is cheating. I'm not saying that looking at some guy and appreciating his looks is cheating, but based on your question, I ask, if your fiancé was doing that to a woman, would you call it "cheating"? I suspect you would.

    The fact is you are unwilling to commit to your fiancé, like you promised when you got engaged. So if your not committed to your fiancé, what's would stop you from having sex with this guy you have a "Hugh crush on", if the opportunity presents itself. Your basically sitting on the line in the sand hoping to be able to step over.

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    • Its my co worker whos crushing on my crush. and i really can't stand her and i hate her, she's a 2 faced so i really dont care if she gets divorced :)

  • This is emotional cheating. This is where the girl has not preserved her affection for her chosen lover and is allowing the presence of another man to arouse her emotionally and sexually. It depends on whether you are mono or polyamourous (Some people simply accept that they will have more than one lover at once, even if engaged or married) - but at the end of the day this term and condition of a relationship is very serious and should be respected. If you are not in an "open" relationship, then the girl is certainly "emotionally cheating" on her partner - however that almost always (in my experience) highlights that there are severe problems in the existing relationship, causing the woman to seek and consider another partner. As abstract as it seems, if a girl really really loves a guy and is in a mono relationship - she won't flirt with the idea of other guys.

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  • Yep, thats called emotional cheating. And yes, I'd leave you in a heart beat. The only time a crush on someone else is harmless is when you think about them briefly, or they catch your eye, MAYBE you masturbate tot hem, but they are out of your mind 99% of the time and not recurrent. also no contact in this flirty context.

    I highely suggest you break it off before you get married... this poor guy...

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  • I would say that is not mentally cheating that is going past that point. If she is flirting and bending over and showing more skin then she is cheating on the guy.

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  • It's what I call 'emotional cheating'. I'd break up with them for sure.

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  • "texts him a lot"

    "flirts with him"
    "exposes herself near him"

    ... and more...

    These behavioral actions are wrong and should be avoided. Having a crush though, is unavoidable and will happen, but you should avoid all this other behavior, especially the flirting, revealing, staring, jealousy, etc.

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  • thats cheating... i would leave her and tell her to go build a life with that guy and see if he cares

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    • hahaha lol he doesn't care about her... thats the funny part :)

    • The stupid part is that the girl is being unfaithful, and will just lose both men in the end

  • I've always heard it as "emotional cheating" and it is VERY real and can be harder to break than physical cheating. I have been both the instigator of and recipient of emotional cheating and from experience... it sucks and is painful! do not recommend it at all!!

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  • Nope. That's beyond mentally cheating, to fully cheating.
    When you have a boyfriend, but you're obsessed with someone else (internal) AND begging for the dick (external) you are fully cheating.

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  • No it's called being a badgirlfriend and human. Kindly remove yourself from the dating pool and get yourself sterlized.

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  • Yes. In your heart you want him. Even if it's just to experience some strange, you want to find out what he's like. Better off in an open relationship or single.

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  • Please report to the nearest termination booth. Have a nice daycycle.

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  • Please tell the guy to many guys have had a girl fuck them over , if he's a good guy and over all nice person tell him. I know i dont want to marry someone like that and if someone told me i would be very thankful that i dont have to waste my time

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  • That's worse than physical cheating by the way

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    • yup. because they're in your heart.

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    • Its my co worker whos crushing on my crush. and i really can't stand her! i hate her, she's a 2 faced. she has no kids

    • Then u don't have a connection if I want to leave him just do it don't fool ur self and regret it now

  • ummm cheating no because that requires a physical action , sounds more like prick teasing!!!

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    • What about the fact that she has a crush on him, and is on her mind (most probably)?

    • personally no its a fixation/strong obsession rather than cheating i think

  • It is a form of being unfaithful.

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  • yes it is cheating, and it proves u are BITCH

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    • Oh dear, its not me the stupid bitch is my co-worker.

  • "Bends over, reveals more skin"

    That is more than mentally cheating. Either way, it is all wrong because it is not fair to the other partner. Best to just break up and she can do whatever she desires without hurting someone else wouldn't you say.

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  • Generally, we don't hang out with the people we don't like

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    • what are you trying to say here?

    • That, he could be cheating

What Girls Said 18

  • It sounds like an Innocent 'Crush' here, dear, and as Long as you keep your thoughts and hands to yourself, it Isn't... Cheating with this meeting.
    Yes, of course, if my SO was doing this with someone, had these thoughts, I would Blurt Out: CHEATER. But I would be silly because he would not actually be 'Cheating on me,' but Cheating our relationship instead by thinking about going to bed.
    However, as wise as I am, if you are Not sure about walking down the aisle, then do Not toss your life away today.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Its my co worker whos crushing on my crush. and i really can't stand her and i hate her, she's a 2 faced so i really dont care if she gets divorced :)

    • Oh, I see, so she is the one getting married? If so, maybe you should swoop up your crush after the doors close at 5.:)) xx

  • Mental cheating is definitely a thing. There are many ways you can cheat on someone that don't require them actually interacting physically, like having sex, making out, etc..

    If you're very flirty on purpose with certain people of the opposite sex, always bring up how hot you find other guys with harmful intentions, etc., that's still cheating. Mentally cheating bordering on emotional abuse. You don't need to do anything physically to betray the trust of you s/o.

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  • Sure there is! But more like wanting attention from someone who you can't have is a thrill or something I'm not sure. I mean it's not right, as your fiancé should be on your mind and you shouldn't really be thinking sexually about anyone else, however you're human, as long as you're honest with yourself and don't act on it, its whatever.

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  • No, that's already cheating lol.

    It would have been a mind affair if she had not started acting on those thoughts.

    she is a cheater.😱

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  • Emotional cheating, yeah, you can call it that. But the worst part is that then she's not really in love with her fiancé.

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  • I could forgive my boyfriend for sleeping with someone else before I could for emotional cheating. The feelings don't have to be mutual for it to be wrong. No one wants to be second choice.

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  • Yes, I think that could be what it is. It's when someone in a relationship forgets their own SO in favour of someone else. Why the hell is she engaged if she has a huge crush on someone else? It's the first step to being really unfaithful by sleeping with this other guy!

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    • she doesn't want to be left alone so she got engaged. But she didn't sleep with him... YET lol

    • She's hedging her bets! Safety in numbers. Carrying on like this, she WILL find herself all alone. No fiance! No crush!

    • hope so

  • it's cheating I'm sorry

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  • Emotionally cheating, yes... There really is such a thing...

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    • If you knew your boyfriend was doing this, would you breakup or ask them to stop talking to this girl?

    • I wouldn't be comfortable with it. It's just as bad as physically cheating, if not worse... So yes, there would b an ultimatum. Depending on how long we were together for... if it hasn't been Long then we'd just break up...

  • Yeah I think it would be emotionally cheating at the least.

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  • Cheating... eehhh. But it's definitely crossing a line, and it's very wrong.

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    • If my partner did this, then yes, I would break up with him. I would consider it to be highly inappropriate and I would doubt his feelings for me if he so easily falls for someone else and tries to flirt/be suggestive like that.

  • You mean like an emotional affair? I would ask her why she is engaged in the first place really.

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    • she's scared to be left alone

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    • That girl is my stupid co worker, not me :)

    • In that case, she is not marriage material. And answering your update, if I told my future husband to stop talking to her and he did, I would see no issue in continuing with the marriage. It's something I can forgive but never forget. If he didn't, I would cut him out of my life.

  • It would be emotional cheating because you do hoave some sort of bond with the other guy. I say really think about what you want and go for it dont waste either one of the guys time.

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  • That's not mentally cheating. That's straight it cheating

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    • She keeps telling other girls "why you talking about other guys if you have a bf" ""why you staring at other guys if you have a bf"...

      Its amazing how unloyal a person can be.

  • Texting and exposing herself isn't "mentally cheating" that's physical borderline cheating.

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  • Jimmy Carter said it best
    but
    everyone looks
    and if they get excited, USE this as booster rockets to divert it to your passions and you'll never have to worry about "cheating" (haha) again

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  • If I knew my partner was doing this, I'd break up with me because they wouldn't be in love with me anymore.

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    • I'd break up with them*

  • I don't think it has a name it's just wrong

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