im so sick of meeting men and then finding out they dont want anything.
Most Helpful Guy
Because the world has changed in huge ways post-WWII, and these changes, which include:
- a much greater need for education (far more people completing high school and also going to college - pre-WWII an 8th Grade education was the standard)
- modern medicine, including birth control, and improved lifespans.
- feminism and the devaluation of the traditional male leadership role
As always, you have to start with biology and reproductive strategies, as these underlie most of our instincts. Men's sexual peak years are roughly 16-25, and men are designed to desire variation. For most of recorded history, a man's name, titles (something we don't even understand anymore, but used to be of huge importance), land, and possessions could only be passed down to legitimate children (sons, for the most part), and sex before marriage was strongly condemned by both society and the church (which had a far bigger influence on society than it does today). Thus, the norm was for men to be marred by 17 or 18 - in recognition that he wasn't likely to remain celibate much longer than that (women were married at an average age of 15, and rarely attended high school). Obviously, sex routinely lead to pregnancies with no birth control available, so having sex with random people for fun was mostly unavailable except for prostitutes, which were very common but rarely discussed.
Today, we have birth control, so sex is possible without much danger of pregnancy. We've legally abolished the concept of bastardy, and have eliminated titles in the US. And Feminism told society that men were unneeded, and that women shouldn't rely on men to take care of them (and devalued the hard work of the men who did so). We also made divorce MUCH easier to get, which contributed to a significant decline in the nuclear family.
All of these things have taken away the benefits and motivations for men to marry, or even to have serious, committed relationships. Men can now get sex without them, and why put up with all the hassle and responsibilities of a relationship when you can get the benefits that are most important (to men) without them? It's really that simple.
Men never "needed" or valued relationships the way women did, and once society tore down the remaining motivations, men started to realize that relationships were often a bad deal for men - especially for young men in their 20s.6
Most Helpful Girl
Cause they're young, wild and free hahaha... I think most of them live by the mentality that they should have fun while they still can, since they'll have their whole life to be in a committed relationship. Majority of them do start wanting to have something serious eventually.
But actually I believe there are quite a few guys on their 20s who want a relationship, otherwise there would be no couples in their 20s. You just have to know where to find them. Don't know why you've had such bad luck. If it's really that hard to find such guys for you, maybe you should look for guys in their 30s, by that time they usually are ready to settle down.0
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