Do you have high standards in dating?

I openly admit I do, however, I only want one and want something real, so if some omnipotent being told me that I would only date and marry one girl who I thought was gorgeous and sweet Id be happy. So I wouldn't call myself shallow exactly as I'm not trying to rack up a sex count. I personally wouldn't date a girl who was below a 7 on the looks scale l, hell I even have to shave my head from TE but unlike other guys I'm not worried about it, I look good enough without hair I still proudly hold those standards high, so people I'm curious how many do as well and aren't afraid to admit that
(I know ratings are subjective etc and for me a girl only needs a gorgeous face and slender frame to be put in the 7-10 range so maybe I'm not over the top but still. An examlple of a perfect girl to me would be Lindsey Stirling haha)


0|1
47|54

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have very high standards in regards to their personality/family/the kind of person they are/how we get along. I'm not extremely picky about looks, but I have to be attracted to the person. I think in order to be truly happy with someone you have to have high standards or else you may feel as if you've settled for someone. I have never seen someone happy in a relationship where they have settled.

    1|1
    0|0
    • @Catie101 is that really you in the pic? LAWD HAVE MERCY women, you made spill my tea all over shirt.

      Great answer by the way, I share your sentiments.👍🏻

    • thanks for MH :) and @Calvin369 yes its me lol! and thanks!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I do. Relationships are hard work and I'm only interested in investing the time and resources into it for someone I am strongly passionate about. I don't come across girls like that often. In fact, it's been a little over 2 years now since I've found a girl to make me feel this way. I'm not the type of person who needs a relationship though so I'm happy to wait until the right girl comes along and if she doesn't I won't feel bad because the other girls weren't worth the trouble and I would only have inconvenienced myself for nothing. And attraction is subjective but I know what I want and I won't accept less.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 46

  • I think so. I don't expect Prince Charming of course, but I believe I deserve to be with someone I'm physically and emotionally attracted to and who treats me with respect.

    6|2
    0|3
    • as long as you admit that guys who you may not find attractive deserve someone that is attractive as well thats fine, its only bad when you say you deserve someone your physically attracted too, and then expect another to settle because they aren't as attractive if you get what I'm saying

  • I have very high standards. No lie.

    5|1
    0|1
    • What are your standards?

    • Oh dear... I would assume the requirement that he be a virgin is setting the bar pretty high for starters since most guys aren't. No smoking, has, is currently, or will, pursue a college degree, good career prospects (not financially necessarily, just doing something), but a heavy drinker, Christian, let's not get started on the looks I find attractive lol

    • Funny I fit most of those and girls aren't attracted

  • I don't think they're 'high' but I have my standards.

    Just by the way, if your standards are only based on looks, I'm sorry to say tht your standards are super low.

    5|4
    1|0
  • Well, I could date anyone. I don't care if the person smokes or not, if is a virgin or not, if have disabilities (not arms or something like that), if doesn't work or study, if is a girl or a guy, if is straight, bi, trans, pansexual or demisexual, if is younger or older than me (now I wouldn't date someone who's younger than me, maybe 1 or 2 years), if the person is white, black, yellow, blue, pink, whatever, I don't give a fuck.

    But I do have my preferences. I would like to date someone who can make me laugh and who has dreams and that will do anything to achieve them. The most important thing: the person needs to keep the conversation going, I love long deep talks, so a person who doesn't like to talk is not my type (if the person is deaf or mute I gotta find the way to communicate, but I wouldn't refuse to go on a date with someone like that). Other than that, idgaf.

    Again... Dating doesn't mean that I'm gonna marry this person... So who cares? What do I lose? One night? Meh, I've lost 16 years of my life. What do I win? A good time? ... I love getting to know people, there are so many things you can learn from people, I love that.

    I don't know if I have high standards, I just know that I won't go through life looking for perfection.

    0|0
    0|0
  • After my broken relationship, I am definitely going to stick to my standards. When I first met the guy I didn't judge too harshly and kind of threw what I wanted in a guy out the window because he was such a charmer. That was a BIG mistake! As in the end I got hurt and used after the sweet guy was replaced w/an arrogant @ss. Have flexibility in your standards (ex: I want a man who is college educated, i will bend my standards if the guy has a trade of some sort electrician, construction worker, cna etc), in that kind of circumstance make an exception, but make sure you will be happy w/your decisions. If there is ever any doubt whether one thing will not match your standards at the beginning, leave before you get too deeply involved and you find out that you cannot live w/that.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sure I do, It’s definitely good to maintain high standards. After all, especially when it comes to a relationship, I want to be with someone who is the best possible match for me in terms of personality, kindness, intelligence, looks, spirituality, etc.

    0|1
    0|1
  • Lol honestly, most peoples' standards sound sorta high if they actually sit and discuss their standards... it's probably because talking about it often sounds like a strict list that knocks out anyone who doesn't meet a standard. In reality, the standards are probably a lot more realistic, and most people are usually a lot more forgiving. Fundamentally, we all just want someone whom we are attracted to, are good to us, and are compatible with our lifestyles enough to live a good life together.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I have high standards when it comes to who they are as a person and how they treat me. Not so much in looks once they have a caring face I'm happy. I don't really have a type so looks aren't too much of an issue. But I would be quite assertive with traditional values so things like them walking on the outside of a path, holding doors open, being a gentleman in general are important too 😀 I finally found him so it's worth the wait x

    1|0
    0|1
  • I only have high standards when I want to have a serious relationship. My expectations aren't that high if you really think about it. I want an honest , loyal and faithful man. A job would be a great asset. He must have looks, . I mean he doesn't have to be a Brad Pitt or an Orlando bloom but looks need to still be there for the physical attraction even though I would decide upon a guy ultimately on his personality and how he treats me. So if he's gorgeous but he has a nasty attitude or a bad habit *makes cutting sound* ... he's done!

    0|0
    0|0
  • sure i do, but theyre also quite realistic. I'm not asking for too much.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I used to think I didn't as long as he had a great personality but I find myself attractive to a certain type of male. Blonde hair, At least 5"10 and has a butt. But personality matters. I had been dating that check list above for 4 years and he was a total unromantic, selfish douche bag. If you don't mind please answer my question! Thank you.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Yeah, I do have standards but not too heavy on the looks.

    More on the character/behavior.

    3|2
    0|1
  • Oh, well shit my standards are kinda high. I don't really care much about looks, a guy being a 5 is fine as long as he has everything or almost everything that i want in a man. and that's where things complicate lol

    2|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't consider them high. I'm a simple girl. I don't need a bunch of bells and whistles. He doesn't have to look like a runway model. He doesn't have to be super buff. I appreciate a handsome face with simple features. Above all else, I just want him to be honest and loyal.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He must: be kind to all people and animals, be able to find my weirdness endearing, appreciates art and music, is intelligent, does not smoke, drinks responsibly, has goals, I must find him physically attractive, he must get along with my family and friends, same sense of humor as me

    0|0
    0|0
  • I do, but when it comes to dating I have to be open about it all. Which I am. I'm now with my amazing boyfriend for nearly a year now

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know I do. I'm picky. He needs to be witty or have some type of humor, smart and humble. He needs takes care of himself and at least enjoy eating healthy. Looks wise I really like guys of different races/ ethnicity. (I'm african/black).

    I honestly stopped wondering if it makes me shallow or not. I can live with that.

    0|1
    1|0
  • In terms of looks - not really. The guy doesn't have to be a model, as long as I'm at least somewhat attracted to his appearance, he's good to go. I prefer guys who are neither skinny nor overweight, are taller than me, and have a nice face. But when it comes to personality, I have a huuuuuge list.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I don't know if i have high standards but I would have pretty specific things I like in a guy. However I don't blame anyone for having high standards so long as they aren't shallow.

    0|0
    0|0
  • By people's perceptions, yes I do have high standards. I wonder what's so hard about being appropriate these days.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I agree with the other girls here. Im not fussed about looks as long as I find the guy attractive. E. g the last guy I liked used to get picked on for his nose lol. Apparently it was too big but I never saw it & I found him nice looking. Attractiveness really is subjective!.
    I have high standards when it comes to things like respect, affection, humour, intelligence, confidence etc. Having grown up with an amazing , caring , loving father I long for somebody who will treat me with the same level of respect and love.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think my shallowness over the years has decreased dramatically. I've always had this idealistic guy that would be my everything when I was much younger. But the dating pool doesn't work that way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I am dating a model so I guess I do... he wasn't a model when we started dating though.

    1|0
    0|1
  • my dating life is nonexistent 😂

    0|0
    0|0
  • i'm very very picky with boys

    1|1
    1|1
  • I personally have very high standards but I don't think it's a bad thing. You know what you what and are willing to wait for it.

    0|0
    0|1
  • Yes, I do think it's important to set higher standards because when it comes to dating I'm looking for a potential lifetime partner. Those who lower their standards and settle are probably much more likely to end up getting a divorce.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not really as long as there nice and not rude sure! :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, my standards are pretty high.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope. My standards are reasonably fair.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    16

What Guys Said 53

  • I have the standards I have. That is really all I can say about it.

    I don't like to rate girls' appearances, especially not with a single number. But I am pretty sure that my 9's and 10's would probably be like a lot of guys' 4's and 5's. And a lot of other guys' 9's and 10's are my 4's and 5's. It's different standards. Most guys would probably find some of the girls I like too pale or dorky. At the same time, what some guys consider "out of their league", I consider settling. Mainly because these guys completely overlook personality traits, and just try to adapt to shit personalities. I feel like the #1 way men settle is in personality in favor of looks.

    I also don't play games with "what I deserve." I try not to tell myself what I think the world owes me, especially when it comes to a girlfriend. The moment I do is the moment I turn down perfectly fine girls because I've established some sort of threshold.

    I will say that a lot of girls have not met my standards. And many times it is THEIR standards that are what turn me away. You can tell a lot by what parts of you a girl likes. If she likes that I am geeky, calm, and try to understand people, she's a keeper. If she likes me DESPITE these traits, she's a gonner.

    And yes, I suppose I do have a few physical attraction limits, mainly regarding weight, and partially regarding things like complexion and style. With regards to weight, I've tried dating bigger girls in hopes I'll develop interest, but I wind up wasting their time when they could just find a guy who isn't bothered by it. I live in a very obese town, so it's something that you get numb to.

    And when I say complexion and style, I mean the whole "white girl crisped in a tanning bed" look just scares me off. Especially if you are wearing yoga leggings and uggs. You probably wouldn't want me anyway, because again, I'm not Kanye. Nor would I want someone who looks like they want Kanye. Judgy as hell perhaps.

    3|2
    0|0
  • Being female is a big plus. Well, it's a requirement.
    Reasonable personality - like not a bitch and we get along without having to work at it.
    Not lazy and not afraid to get her hands dirty
    Knows how to laugh
    Is independent and whole (I should be an option, not a requirement to make her whole)
    Has a few things in common with me and likes to go out and do things sometimes
    Likes nature
    Can carry on a conversation about several subjects
    Easy going (she'll need to be to offset my intensity sometimes)
    Likes to travel and maybe move - a plus but not required
    Doesn't drink more than casually

    Don't care about looks, except not excessively over weight
    Don't care about intelligence or education
    Don't care how much money she makes, as long as she works
    Don't care about her politics or social views - as long as she's not too vocal about it

    Is that high standards? It's a long list, but I don't think any of it is excessive or unreasonable. But then on the other hand I'm not looking for anyone - so it's more like if someone just happened to pop into my life, those things are what appeals to me.

    4|1
    0|0
  • Yeah I have very high standards, it's also a large part of why i'm still single. I get interest from girls often enough but they're usually too young or just not my type. I feel it's something that can't be helped, I don't really control my taste, it's just what it happens to be. I think it's somewhat unfair on the other person if I were to compromise I mean if you go out with someone you usually can assume that they're attracted to you and your personality, imagine how you'd feel if they didn't.

    0|0
    0|0
    • we all know she must be Asian :p

    • @Afrochick Haha not at all, I actually like girls from all races... sure I have a preference for Asian girls on average but I don't see them as the only girls I like and I don't automatically rate a girl prettier than someone else purely on that.

  • Life is relative. The idea of standards are an abstract concept - so when we imagine them we think of many standards.

    Women tend to have higher standards than men. Women use a red flag system, where "candidates" are ruled out by means of deficiencies.

    Men tend to use more of a "green flag" system, where they seek to find positive "advantages" and tend to be happier to ignore "disadvantages".

    Ultimately, everybody's acceptable standard will vary from moment to moment, situation to situation. Women, however, will often look for reasons to rule someone out, whereas men will often look for reasons to invest. These are consequences of the nature of supply / demand.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have high standards too. The way I see it if I'm going to put my trust in someone, open up to them and potentially spend my life with them then I'm going to be really picky. I've become kinda used to being alone so I'm ok with staying that way if I dont find someone who meets my standards.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I'm not super picky about looks. Of course i have preferences, but i don't hold women to very many of those standards. She just has to have a pretty face, average, normal looking body, and be shorter than me. I don't have a whole checklist of specific qualifications.

    But when it comes to personality, i am VERY knitpicky. She has to be kind, caring, sweet, intelligent, funny, good sense of humor, she has to be an anime fan and be into the same kinds of movies as me because that's pretty much all i do with my free time, she has to be honest, loyal, super physically affectionate, and clingy (weird, i know), and many many many more.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think I have high but also very reasonable standards. I don't think my standards are beyond what any person should expect from a partner (such as honesty)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would only date between the 2/10 - 5/10 range. I would like to try and keep.. ''Within my league''.

    And, As long as she's nice and all, I couldn't really care about anything else. She could be normal, She could be annorexic, She could be obese, I wouldn't give a shit. I would just value the company.

    0|0
    0|0
  • standards and shit we are lying to everyone and to ourselves , if you asked me last year would like this girl i would've said no but i ended up liking her more than i would like to admit evne went out with her, i stopped liking girls i thought were perfect and had everything , i started seeing the world from a different point of view... everyone has something to offer , yes of course we are attracted to pretty people more can't deny that , but while we agree that some people are indeed pretty the ones we end up craving and lusting after are the ones that seem so average we start to wonder " how the hell a gem like that has been flying under the radar so long " ... thats what i am looking for , no models or gorgeous girls , but the ones that i feel have something special... who knows she might a model anyway.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Sorry dude, I disagree with you, I never get anything more than friendship for a non attractive looking girl, and I've had great personalitied girls chase me who matched my mindset even but she was only like5/10 so I couldn't do it

    • well ofcourse if you're not attracted it could never happen thats true , the girls i am talking about are at least 6.5/10 ( no make up on ) but with make up she could be an 8/10 ... but if you just go after pretty girls you're gonna be really dissapointed , sure sex is cool but what happens when you actually want to get married or take it to the next level? you realize that they have nothing to offer or even if they do. you just dont like what they have you just like how they look.

    • Did you read the details? I said I needed a girl to be sweet and get along with me too, it is required, however so are looks, I couldn't be with a non attractive sweet and personality 'click' girl, and I couldn't be with a girl who was attractive but non commited etc. You're acting like all attractive girls are nut jobs. And to me personally I wouldn't date below a 7 on the looks, and most the girls I go for don't wear much makeup it's a turnoff to me so that's more natural beauty than make up

  • I have high standards and I don't lower them for anyone. Because when I do I am cheating both myself and the girl.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You tell me. If you guys/girls of GAG think my standards are fine give it a like if not give it a dislike.
    Looks
    Light skinned (White, Asian, Latina, Arab),
    Height: between 1.75 - 1.8 m (5 feet 9 inches - 5 feet 11 inches),
    Bra size: minimum 34C maximum 36E
    Hair colour: blonde, brunette, brunette with blond highlights
    Eye colour: irrelevant as long as it looks good

    Personality:
    Outgoing, energetic, confident, kind, fun to be around, doesn't do any recreational drugs

    1|2
    3|1
  • I have a deal breaker list. And those are major things that I just can't date someone who has that category.

    Other than that, as long as I can have good conversation with her, am physically attracted to her and she is sweet and caring then I'm good.

    The only time I'm strict is if it's a hookup oddly enough xD. I don't care about her personality, but if she's not at least a 9 then I won't bother. But these are generally girls I wouldn't date seriously anyways.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have very high standards in dating... when it comes to personality.

    Im not too picky on looks.

    2|0
    0|0
  • No I think mine are fairy reasonable they're not low but they aren't high either sort of a nice medium.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes and No,
    The things I look for aren't unreasonable it's just that there are so few women of character these days that finding the ones who are of good character and like you and are compatible can be a challenge.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not really. Well, I did make a girl cry once apparently, because we had a coffee date, and she didn't tell me she was a stripper. I don't want to date strippers, and I don't like how she didn't tell me the truth, so I called off the date and apparently she cried after. Other than that, I'd say my only standards are that she isn't insane, and we can get along with each other.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No because I'm one ugly motherfucker! hahahahahahaha

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not high really for a date. But pretty high for multiple dates.

    0|0
    0|0
  • yeah. i have pretty high standards character wise xD looks are not that important i´d say i´d go as low as a 6/10

    0|0
    0|0
  • Some people think a healthy woman who knows what she wants in life, has experience (in and out of bed,) attractive enough, engaging in conversation, and has no kids counts as "high standards" for some reason.
    Don't think that's too much to ask for.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have a decent standards

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, and no. I have many expectations, but they are all reasonable.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have no standards as in I don't care about that crap anymore ie dating.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I guess so , and i blame porn for that lol

    1|1
    0|0
  • I have pretty high standards according to my peers. But wtf, why settle?

    1|0
    0|0
  • I do that's why I intend to stay single.

    1|0
    1|0
  • As long as she has a P€$$¥ is all i needed to LUV 👄

    0|1
    1|2
    • Ew !!! Son that's not what I reached you!!!

    • Show All
    • of course i can't!! i am your mother not lover!!
      BUT SON, don't you worry...

    • @JoahZ10nT if u can't , how are u expecting meh to find an Angel while they are all in Heaven '-'

  • I don't believe I do, but I suppose I could be wrong.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Like most people I prefer someone attractive, but if someone opposite makes me want them after I get to know them, then I will accept them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, but not unreasonably high.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    23
Loading...