Why do some consider it wrong from parents to spank or slap children in the modern day?

When I was a kid there was no screaming in the store, I knew better, if I even so much as muttered a complaint a got a simple look from the old man to let me know I had done wrong, but occasionally I would cross the line to the point I would get spanked or slapped, and so many over zealous mommie types say that leads to mental disorders and all that, well the only thing I suffer from is a condition called respect towards those who deserve it, and the ability to tell when someone doesn't deserve it. I'm not saying everyone is like this but people don't like to give consequences to kids anymore


Most Helpful Girl

  • Spanks are a joke. I got hit with anything from spoons to cable wires. I deserved it most times but it thought me the importance of respect and obedience towards our elders. Now there are some who would call that abuse and I have seen and heard some cases of children being hit to death and lit a fire.. (God bless their souls). Them parents just crazy.. but a few spanks , slaps etc shouldn't hurt. The main thing here is training the children to grow up in a suitable manner. Not to be rude or own way.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Because society is too sensitive. I was pretty much never spanked but I know for a fact that, if need be, I'll do it as a last resort when/if I have kids.
    The only reason I wasn't spanked because I was that type of well behaved kid but those two or three times I actually was spanked, I got the same condition you have, dude.


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What Girls Said 9

  • That's how I was raised by my father and as a grown up, disagree with it. By hitting or slapping a child, that's showing that you have to rely on using your hands or an object to get your points across. In addition, it's not really teaching you the real reason why behavior was wrong other than ''but I'm gonna get slapped/spanked''.

    For instance, I would understand lying is wrong because in the end the people that care about you will get disappointed and you would have to live with your conscious that you lied rather than ''oh lying it's wrong because I'm gonna get hit and better watch out''.

    I believe you can still discipline without the needing to hit. This is where some people confuse the terms. Discipline does not necessarily mean spanking.

    • Basically feeling the need to slap anyone just to earn respect tells me you can't get your points across and you already lost your patience. That's forcing the person to submit rather than making them realize on their own how they can improve.

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    • I am sorry for your children and that a father can't do his job. its reasons like this I made this post.

    • ''I am sorry for your children and that a father can't do his job.'' What about the mother? She also has a voice in this too, esp if she's against her kids getting hit. They're her children too. She's the one that after all went through all that pain giving birth.

  • I'd rather discipline my child in another way that doesn't involve physically hurting them. If your kid is too young to understand why their behaviour is wrong, then they're too young to understand why you're hitting them.

    • they learn wrong behavior from punishment not from inborn sense, a parents job is to put that sense there

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    • a parents job is to make the child independant and a strong person, that requires punishment and discipline, yes I was spanked, I still love my parents and appreciate every slap I got, my father made me grow up and dispite being slapped and spanked, I have many good family memories, so it doesn't ruin a relationship and the relationship between parent and spouse is completely different, a child again is your responsibilty to MAKE into a person, it doesn't work out well if you just sit back and think they'll turn out good like grass growing etc

    • I was spanked and still love and appreciate my parents too, that doesn't mean it's how I want to raise my child.

  • Some people think everything is child abuse.

  • I don't agree with hitting kids, no matter the reason. It'll teach them to obey, sure, but it'll also teach them to fear you. You don't want your kids to fear you because when people are afraid they usually lash out later on in life.

  • Nah I don't agree with violence. Do you have to slap your friends to get their respect too?

    • its not violent it teaches when theyve done wrong, otherwise you end up with brats, I have family who are because they never got their mouths shut when they were mouthing off, and lady being a parent your job is to raise a child to become a strong independent person, completely different than being a friend. parenting is a job, not just another relatioinship

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    • It isn't required. Studies have even shown that physical punishment does not bring about better results.

    • Studies have proven otherwise too, you'll find human error and adjustment in any study, and 50 years ago children were punished much more harshly and they were a stronger people's when their time came to grow, there is no denying our world is softer than it was, and that's not a good thing, people expect everything handed to them, don't understand hardship and are accepting of things and embrace lazyness in ideas like fat being okay, times have changed for the worse, if our generation was put through something like those in the 40's were we would never make, we are too weak a society and yes raising of children is a big part of that

  • i agree with you i believe in discipline!!!

  • Well, domestic violence is illegal. It only makes sense to extent it to your children too.

  • I don't like the whole bending on knees and spanking thing.

    That just looks weird and the kids might feel humiliated.

    And slapping on the face is an aboslute no.

    Maybe on their arms if they really cross the line.

    My parents used the hitting on the arm thing , etc.

    I don't know if it did me any good.

    Every time they did that, I only felt more angry. (Temporary)
    That made me wanna rebel but of course I didn't.

    But it also made me not be so close to them.

    When the kids are young/new born, parents have full control over them. If they do the right things, and use that control properly, physical discipline would be the last resort needed to use when the kids grow a little older.

    Same goes for raising voice/yelling super loud.

    • slapping on the face is completely legal even in our soft society, and the point of punishment is to show the kids theyve done wrong by humilation etc. it teache discipline and how to handle a situation. lReally crossing the line they get a belt, just over is spanking, and mouthing off was a slap. if you're that soft on your children, they won't frow up knowing how to fully act and handle themselves

    • Sorry I don't agree with you.

      The physical discipline from my parents only made me feel resentful towards them.

      It had no good effect on my personality.
      Thankfully, I have met inspiring people, and read books to gain knowledge and start working on developing good character.

      If the parents have not done the proper job when the kids were infant, then I can see the need for physical discipline.

    • if you really think a parent slapping a child makes them a mean or uncaring parent than I hope you never have children. A real parent who loves their child is willing to put them through hell so that they may come out strong enough to stand on their own two feet, I thank God I got my parnets and not someone like you. and if your so soft that you hold resentment for it than you are not having enough strength to get far in life... good luck

  • Because it's abuse. Kids should get consequences for acting naughty, yes absolutely, but not get physically abused. And it's illegal to spank/slap/hit etc. kids in my country anyway.

    • its not abuse, abuse is anything considered undue pain, a spank or slap may hurt for a few minutes but it teaches the child that they crossed the line, abuse is traumatic damage etc that is permanent. Even in the US in class we discovered the law does not prohibit slapping or spanking a child and abuse is labeled as physcial damage that is permanent or unwarranted

What Guys Said 1

  • when you were a kid there was no screaming in stores? well I'm 13 years older than you and remember kids screaming in stores

    I think that spanking has been proven to be a less effective method of behavior modification than alternatives. I guess I shouldn't say I think it's been proven because it has. I'm not entirely anti-spanking but if there are better methods of behavior mod then shouldn't we employ them

    • physical teaching is the strongest way to get the point across they did wrong, and I'm saying I was spanked and got slapped when I did much less than a lot of brats I see in stores now days, and I don't suffer from anykind of awful ailment they always say people who get physical punishment are. It taught me better and faster than most kids now ever are.

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    • did i vilify it? nope
      did i say it was unneeded? nope
      0-2... just because i disagree with your stance on spanking doesn't mean i haven't thoroughly read your position so please read mine. I did bad things behind my parents back, snuck out, drank booze, went places they wouldn't have wanted me to go. and i was spanked so would you say that that is an example of spanking being ineffective? Meanwhile my neice was never spanked. is the most polite, sweet, caring and respectful person in the world (not that I'm not). she doesn't drink, do drugs, and didn't have sex til she was married. So what's your argument there to say that spanking would've helped

      you seem to take the position... because you've said as much... that kids who aren't spanked will be naughty. it's simply untrue. and as it is untrue clearly there are alternatives to spanking that can effectively teach and modify behavior.

    • if you choose to spank your children go ahead and do so... i don't care
      and if choose not to spank mine I will do so as well... and you shouldn't care

      and you certainly shouldn't presume (since presumptions aren't based on fact at all), since it isn't black and white (spanked = good... not spanked = bad) that one child will be better off than the other