How to break ground with a really shy woman?

There's this girl in one of my classes. She seems really shy when it comes to interacting with people but incredibly confident when it comes to her studies. I find her to be quite interesting and would like to know more about her. The problem is she rushes into class right before it starts and runs out as soon as it ends so I don't really have a chance to converse with her. I've noticed that I think about her when she isn't around and I barely know her so it's strange and new to me lol

What would be the best way to pull her aside so to speak and start interacting with her? Maybe shy women on G@G could shed some light on this because I've always been more into bold women who are stellar conversationalists. It's different coming at it from the other side and I lack experience with it.

Thanks in advance for your advice :)

Updates:
Okay so I failed today because we both walked in separate directions after class lol
Apparently she uses different parking lots. Anyway I won't make the same mistake Thursday! Thanks for everyone's help.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well I'm not a shy woman but i guess i can help in that sometimes i just duck in and out of class as well.
    u might want to take a seat next to her one session. u dont even have to speak to her at that point. just make some kind of gesture that makes her feel she isn't some kind of geek or invisible person that no one notices. many shy girls tend to feel that way. a simple "hi, can i sit here?" is fine.

    as soon as the class is over, you'll b right next to her, if i were u id make a comment about the class itself. "that was pretty interesting/boring" or something. whatever u come up with. quickly followed by "sorry i didn't get your name. I'm..." *extend handshake*. whatever her reply is, leave it there for the first interaction. obviously this is just a rough scenario lol.

    anyway, if there's one thing u take away from this, it's that shy girls need time, so youd have to be pretty persistent if u really wanna know more about her, because chances r, there's something quite wonderful hiding beneath the shyness. always is.

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    • Yeah I get the feeling there's something incredibly interesting underneath it all. Thanks for the advice. I'll put it into action :)

      I'm afraid of being too persistent and scaring her away though. I'll take it a little bit at a time and see how she reacts to me.

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    • I am shy and I think this is the best advice so far. If a guy sat next to me and said a general statement about the class I would not feel threatened or think he was hitting on me. So she would probably feel safe with that approach.

    • thanks love =] @LIZGRIZ111
      yeah i think it's important to just feel comfortable.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I notice people tend to stay in the same seats in my college classes... so if she's one of those people just start sitting next to her and strike up a conversation.

    You say she's really confident with her studies so try talking to her about something related to school (what she wants to do career wise/ a test coming up etc)... if she's comfortable with that topic, she's more likely to warm up to you over time. As time goes by you start joking, asking about her day or plans for the weekend... simple things... and even invite her to study with you one of those days.

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    • This sounds like a solid idea. Thanks for the advice.

    • No problem! :)
      Oh another thing, people become a lot more open after you pay them a compliment... just don't make it about her looks lol you can pick intelligence or her fashion sense :D

    • Sounds good to me. I'll definitely do that. Thanks again.

What Girls Said 13

  • Interrupt, start conversations, make remarks and don't give up until she relaxes around you and starts returning your gestures.
    You must be persistent and you can find any excuse to talk from asking for something, making remarks on something you notice about her, all the way up to talking about class.

    No secret to it. Interrupt, speak, ask, speak, repeat.
    Once she's smiling glad to see you, once she wants to share more than just casual chatting, ask her to go out with you.

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    • Okay sounds good. That's so exciting! I've never really done the approaching before so it's always been the other way around.

  • Don't make a big deal about your approach to her, and try to make it as low-key and one on one as possible. Like don't freak her out and back her into a dark corner or anything, but if you notice someone is already speaking to her then don't approach at that time.

    I know for me, I'm a lot more comfortable talking to someone when we're one-on-one and other people aren't noticeably paying attention to our conversation. When I know there's an audience, I clam up and get all blushy and uncomfortable.

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    • This is funny because today I went to the parking lot that she uses in hopes that I could talk with her one-on-one. Unfortunately she met up with a female friend halfway so I never got the opportunity.
      Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely follow through with it.

  • Shy person who rushes in and out of class right here!

    I would want you to talk to me when a few people are around. Maybe go to class a little earlier or ask her after class (quickly, sprint like Bolt!) and ask her to a campus function (movie, free food event, etc) Get close to her. Sit next her if you can, I know it can be hard with favored seats. But try. Try anything.

    I would rather a guy be forward. Then everyone knows everything from the beginning.

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    • Lol this sounds like it's going to be harder than I thought. I'll make it work though lol

      Thanks for the advice.

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    • That's true. Thanks for the advice. You've been incredibly helpful and entertaining.

    • You are so welcome.
      I'll pm you my business address.
      :1

  • I am shy about these subjects. But I am very confident about my field. So here is your way. Use the studies to interact with her. Ask something about the course. This will give chance to open her up.

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  • What's the classroom set-up like? What I mean is, does everyone sit in the same spot every class, or is it a setting where you could go up to her and say, "Do you mind if I sit here?" and sit next to her?

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    • She tends to always sit in front of me or in front to the left of me.

  • Try sitting close to her in class, maybe comment about something that has to do with the class at first, get her attention? But whatever you do, don't be daunted if all you get the first few times is a quick smile or something. Chances are, she's unsure of how to react around you but show her that you're willing to keep talking to her and maybe she'll stick around and open up.

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  • Does she sit at the same spot ever time? If so, sit next to her. Even if she sits at a different spot get in class a bit later to find where she is sitting and get near her. When you do, try to initiate a conversation with her. Some convo starters are asking to borrow a school supplies like a pen or paper. You can also ask her about some lecture stuff as well. Then when she opens up, you can have deeper convos with her her and also have her number. You can always use the excuse of being her study buddy to get her number.

    Hope this helps. :)

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  • Just talk to her. Call her by her name. If she's rushing out just catch her in time and be forward with wanting to get to kmow her more. With shy people you have to be at least somewhat outgoing and direct. Be friendly.

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    • Ah this is different from the advice that says to take it easy so I don't scare her away. You think it would be better to be more outgoing eh?

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    • Okay thanks for the advice. I'll try this next class on Tuesday haha

    • Np! Gl!

  • sneak up behind her grab her from behind an cover her mouth and whisper in her ear Keep quiet!.. jkjk just talk to her ask her if she has any interests approaching a shy girl should be treated like approaching a bunny or a squirrel be gentle and nice and try not to look scary

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  • She need time to warm up, perhaps you can try to start off with some common topics relating to your studies, then ask about her likes etc.
    Keep her as comfortable as possible

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  • Try to trip her so she can't run out as soon as it ends ^^

    If she's shy but incredibly confident with her studies, you could ask her if she could help you with homework or something you just learnt in class that you "didn't quite get".

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    • lol I'd prefer not to rely on physical abuse..

      That sounds like a good idea. Perhaps we could become study partners at first or something.

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    • Then you're all set to go :) good luck!

    • Thank you sensei.

  • I'm super shy when in group settings and if it were me I would want you to maybe say a few thing things to me here and there, just chit-chat-shit, so that I understand that you are interested in getting to know me (so many people love to just fuck with shy people a few times and then never talk to them again-so don't be joking around unless its about other people or other things). maybe after a few chats with her say "you super cool" or something so she knows that you... think she's cool and maybe like her as a friend. When ever someone is talking to me I'm like omg I'm boring them omg omg omg so just let her know she's not then she will start to talk more and more.

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    • Okay so positive reinforcement is a must. Thanks for answering :)

    • Yes! no problem hope it helped

  • I'm shy, and I do the same thing -- rushing in and out of class, haha. To be honest, I actually like getting approached when it's in a friendly, genuine way.

    I'm not sure about speeding up to her after class as that might seem a little... forced, but I think if you ever randomly come across her on campus you should talk to her, tell her you recognize her from class, introduce yourself, etc.

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    • That's the problem.. I never see her except in this one class so I'm trying to think of ways I can talk to her and still make it seem natural without a group of people around.

      I've never been this interested in someone without knowing much about her before so I want to find a way to chat somehow lol

What Guys Said 7

  • K... I have used this when I was in University. Buy two smoothies, both different kinds. Sit down next to her and say... they messed up my order, would you like one?

    Give her the smoothie and it breaks the ice. You give her a little something that brightens up her day and then she will feel somewhat obligated/warmed up to you enough to talk to you after class is over... or if she is b-lining to another class, then she may ask you to meet somewhere later on.

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  • Pass her a note!

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  • Don't stalk her. Your Age shows up at 27, but you are acting more like 17.

    The way to approach her is to be straight foward. Hey, I've seen you around. Here is my number (on paper). Call me and we can meet for coffee, my treat.

    One of three things will happen. If she has time, she will respond with a conversation. If she is interested, she will contact you. If she is not interested, she won't contact you.

    I've used the slip the paper with number trick a few times, and have had good success. It helps for shy girls because she has the power and doesn't feel pressured. But don't push it.

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  • Just say "You have a pussy and I have a dick, so what's the problem? Let's do it quick."
    -Rammstein

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  • How much does a polar bear weigh enough to break the ice

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  • Uh oh. Red Thread tryna stick his hand (or dick) in the cookie jar huh? Watch this get deleted lol.

    A girl in my class when I was in college would leave fast too, but she'd come in at different times. She wasn't shy either. Just shy when it came to me.

    Maybe you should give her signs that you're into her? That way she'll know and you won't shock her, because I'm shy myself and I know there have been times where a girl would show interest in me all of a sudden and it would shock me. I'm not a girl, but maybe it's kinda the same.

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    • Hmm this might be true.. What signs do you think I should use to show that I'm into her?

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    • Okay sounds good. Thanks for the advice bro.

    • No prob.

  • Why bother with her? Shy girls aren't worth the headache required to meet them.

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    • She seems really intelligent and interesting. I kind of want to know why she is in such a rush all the time lol

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