Trust/Honesty - Be open with each other as far as practical - We all have little secrets and tell harmless white lies but the big things, you have to be honest about. Realness - The girl must be very much herself, I don't like fakeness. Chemistry - There must be a physical attraction not we are really good friends let's see if a relationship works. Equal levels of attraction - One sided relationships don't work. Both have to be single and over exes - If they cheat to be with you, it's possible they will cheat again. Per your take - They can't be self centered. My last relationship was a disaster so pretty much everything to me is a potential red flag.
-Having a male "friend" who's blatantly into her and who she hangs out with all the time, he's a slimy asshole who just wants to get in her pants but she either can't see it or enjoys the ego massage. -Selfish. -Ungrateful. -Disrespectful. -High maintenance. -Reading into things and getting the wrong end of the stick then being mad and not telling you why, as she's mad about something that she made up how's a guy supposed to tell what the problem is? -Letting herself go, if I keep myself in shape so should she. -Always burns the toast. -Never puts the cat out.
1, When a girl's relationship history makes her out to always be the victim and every guy she's been with was an asshole. Either a) she's lying and trying to play the victim card, or b) has really poor taste in men. Both of which are red flags.
2. When she's a stickler for "traditional dating practices." Yeah, no thanks. I'm a unique guy with unique views and I want a unique girl.
3. When she doesn't like dogs. Sorry, I'm a dog guy.
4. Substance abuse problems of ANY KIND.
5. When she doesn't want me meeting her family or friends. Sorry but I'm not some dirty secret you get to keep from the world. If you don't want to be loud and proud about the fact that you're with me, move along.
6. Not being understanding and respectful of me being an aspie and what that means exactly.
If the woman shows to be not the best communicator it can be a red flag. I'm not talking about a conversationalist I'm talking about like talking about how she feels. I feel like everyone has to vent occasionally because life is hard sometimes. It's bizarre when someone internalizes all that because I'd be worried sick about her constantly and that can have an effect on anyone.
Someone who makes me feel like less and less of a priority in her life at a really rapid pace. This can make me feel a bit skeptical about a relationship even if she shows "interest"
A woman who doesn't have any friends. In my experience they can get SUPER CLINGER 9 status because you're all she has.
I wouldn't date a woman who just got out of a relationship because I'd feel like I was a rebound until she feels better about getting herself back out there.
Being hardcore religious is also kind of a deal breaker. I wouldn't care if she believed in a higher power of some kind but if she is REALLY into it I don't think we could work out.
I couldn't be with a woman who desired traditional gender roles. I will never be that guy so she will obviously be unsatisfied with me.
I couldn't be with someone who was homophobic/sexist/other shit like that.
I can't really think of others right now..
I won't mention the obvious like being untrustworthy or any of that bs.
I don't generally have any deal breakers, but two stand out rather prominently.
The first is religion. I am not bothered about the religion of a future partner, but it must NOT interfere with family life. I will not allow any children to be brought up in a specific religion. Instead, I want to give them information about all religions, agnosticism, and atheism such that they can make their own decisions on what they want to be. This is how my sister and I were brought up, and it works.
The second is vegetarianism. Quite simply, I will NOT allow meat or meat products to enter my household. It does not bother me what happens outside of the household, providing I am not present. I am not going to sit in a restaurant while a partner consumes a rare and bloody steak!! Slightly differently, I want any children to be brought up as veggie, until they can make their own decisions. Again, this is how sis and I were brought up. The family is still veggie.
- Smokes cigarettes - Drinks excessively - Listens to the same 1-2 genres and refuses to give other genres a chance - Acts rude to others, especially my mother and brother - Tries to force me to drop my best friends - Doesn't want to do anything with her life - Is unfaithful - Is stupid - Acts entitled to shit just because she's female - Hates animals - Doesn't want to get married - Hates kids or doesn't want any - Hates video games
Cheaters first and foremost. It's obvious really but I wasn't going to scroll down to see if anyone had said that already.
Next is Religion. Not Faith, everyone has faith in something. I'm talking about Religion i. e. going to a church to compare clothes or who's the best liar for a day. Or who needs to die over a different belief.
Last is Age. I mean more than 5 years younger. 20 something women bless you but, I can't handle your issues anymore. I tried for years in some cases. I'm just done it.
Religious people, Vegans, Obese people, Promiscuous people, "I want to wait for marriage" people, "The goal of my life is to have kids and/or marry" people, People with multiple failed relationships or kids from previous relationships, Frequent users of substances like tobacco, alcohol and drugs, Selfish, materialistic or generally not likable people, People who don't like cats,
1. A religious lunatic 2. Gossips too much. Absolute HUGE red flag if that's one of the first things she does when you barely know her. I have met girls and the first things she said were "Oh hey you know amy right?", "yeah i do", "yeah she's so annoying sometimes and talks too much right?". Trust me fellas, HUGE red flag. Stay away
Overweight, smokes, their religion gets in the way of our relationship, won't spend time with you, doesn't reciprocate feelings towards you, wants your attention when something is wrong but then goes in a shell and doesn't say what is the problem.
if she is a feminist or makes excuses for feminists if she uses sex as a weapon if she listens to katy perry, kanye west, beyonce, justin beiber or any other trashy artist if she looks like sloth from the goonies
1. Doesn't want kids (even adoption) 2. Doesn't want pets (dogs are preferable, but will accept cats, lizards, fish, rabbits and small animals like that :P ) 3. Doesn't want to get married (or have a similar life-long relationship) 4. Is racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever/just a dick in general
It's only really a dealbreaker if we don't want the same things out of the relationship.
Smoking is my #1 deal-breaker from the get-go, before we even start getting to know each other. It doesn't matter how into each other we are. Dating a smoker is a definite no in my books.
Once we're together, communication and trust are my top priorities. If he can't maintain good open lines of communication with me, that doesn't bode well. I'm not a mind-reader, and take things to heart super easily so if a guy makes a habit of getting frustrated with me for not doing something he wished for without having voiced it previously. I won't stick around for long. Likewise for my being able to trust him. Which would apply to knowing he has only the best intentions, as well as that he won't drop me like a hot potato. Naturally, I'm pretty damn unsure of myself so if I can't trust him fully, definite deal-breaker or I'm on the path to self-destruction.
1) Cheating 2) Violence towards me or others 3) Disrespectful 4) Racist/Sexist/Homophobic 5) Highly opposing views on important matters e. g. Lifestyle, Kids, Religion, Relationship Boundaries, etc. 6) Lying 7) Has Commitment Issues 8) Doesn't want Marriage
If he is still legally married or separated He's still talking to his ex and hanging out with his ex We have a different religion He is in a different state or country He is taking a break from his girlfriend He is verbally abusive or physically abusive He has no job
At this very moment I'm questioning myself if it's okay that my boyfriend paid for hookers in the past because prostitution is something I don't support, as I know somebody who is in this "business" and I know how flawed it is. So maybe sleeping with prostitutes, doesn't matter if it was years before meeting me, might be a dealbreaker for me.
Immaturity and being a follower. To clarify on being a follower;... I can't with guys who do things for their friends to be cool. I've had experiences with guys who did certain things to me (such as blowing me off in public) because of peer pressure.