What are relationship red flags?

what are your dating deal breakers?
what are relationship red flags?

  • I don't have deal breakers, nothing annoys me from the opposite sex!
    4% (2)10% (5)7% (7)Vote
  • everything is a deal breaker for me!!!
    12% (6)18% (9)15% (15)Vote
  • would you date me?
    12% (6)20% (10)16% (16)Vote
  • can you be my grandma?
    8% (4)6% (3)7% (7)Vote
  • mac n' cheese is life, all i want is mac n' cheese!!
    15% (8)16% (8)16% (16)Vote
  • results please...
    49% (26)30% (14)39% (40)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Trust/Honesty - Be open with each other as far as practical - We all have little secrets and tell harmless white lies but the big things, you have to be honest about.
    Realness - The girl must be very much herself, I don't like fakeness.
    Chemistry - There must be a physical attraction not we are really good friends let's see if a relationship works.
    Equal levels of attraction - One sided relationships don't work.
    Both have to be single and over exes - If they cheat to be with you, it's possible they will cheat again.
    Per your take - They can't be self centered.
    My last relationship was a disaster so pretty much everything to me is a potential red flag.

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Most Helpful Girl

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    • And yet I remember you voting that you're not that "judgmental" in my poll about how judgmental you think you are when it comes to dating and relationships. lol

    • @R3d_Anonymous lol all jokes aside I'm pretty reasonable. 😂

    • That's good. Funny gif though. I'm definitely like Squidward in that gif though when I hear people reciting a long list of deal-breakers that just seem trivial.

What Guys Said 31

  • -Having a male "friend" who's blatantly into her and who she hangs out with all the time, he's a slimy asshole who just wants to get in her pants but she either can't see it or enjoys the ego massage.
    -Selfish.
    -Ungrateful.
    -Disrespectful.
    -High maintenance.
    -Reading into things and getting the wrong end of the stick then being mad and not telling you why, as she's mad about something that she made up how's a guy supposed to tell what the problem is?
    -Letting herself go, if I keep myself in shape so should she.
    -Always burns the toast.
    -Never puts the cat out.

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  • 1, When a girl's relationship history makes her out to always be the victim and every guy she's been with was an asshole. Either a) she's lying and trying to play the victim card, or b) has really poor taste in men. Both of which are red flags.

    2. When she's a stickler for "traditional dating practices." Yeah, no thanks. I'm a unique guy with unique views and I want a unique girl.

    3. When she doesn't like dogs. Sorry, I'm a dog guy.

    4. Substance abuse problems of ANY KIND.

    5. When she doesn't want me meeting her family or friends. Sorry but I'm not some dirty secret you get to keep from the world. If you don't want to be loud and proud about the fact that you're with me, move along.

    6. Not being understanding and respectful of me being an aspie and what that means exactly.

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    • Meh, I dislike it when guys judge a girl's past like that. Just because she had a rough past doesn't make her undeserving of love and/or it isn't always her fault.

  • If the woman shows to be not the best communicator it can be a red flag. I'm not talking about a conversationalist I'm talking about like talking about how she feels. I feel like everyone has to vent occasionally because life is hard sometimes. It's bizarre when someone internalizes all that because I'd be worried sick about her constantly and that can have an effect on anyone.

    Someone who makes me feel like less and less of a priority in her life at a really rapid pace. This can make me feel a bit skeptical about a relationship even if she shows "interest"

    A woman who doesn't have any friends. In my experience they can get SUPER CLINGER 9 status because you're all she has.

    I wouldn't date a woman who just got out of a relationship because I'd feel like I was a rebound until she feels better about getting herself back out there.

    Being hardcore religious is also kind of a deal breaker. I wouldn't care if she believed in a higher power of some kind but if she is REALLY into it I don't think we could work out.

    I couldn't be with a woman who desired traditional gender roles. I will never be that guy so she will obviously be unsatisfied with me.

    I couldn't be with someone who was homophobic/sexist/other shit like that.

    I can't really think of others right now..

    I won't mention the obvious like being untrustworthy or any of that bs.

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  • I don't generally have any deal breakers, but two stand out rather prominently.

    The first is religion. I am not bothered about the religion of a future partner, but it must NOT interfere with family life. I will not allow any children to be brought up in a specific religion. Instead, I want to give them information about all religions, agnosticism, and atheism such that they can make their own decisions on what they want to be. This is how my sister and I were brought up, and it works.

    The second is vegetarianism. Quite simply, I will NOT allow meat or meat products to enter my household. It does not bother me what happens outside of the household, providing I am not present. I am not going to sit in a restaurant while a partner consumes a rare and bloody steak!! Slightly differently, I want any children to be brought up as veggie, until they can make their own decisions. Again, this is how sis and I were brought up. The family is still veggie.

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  • Voted B. That's because I'm pretty sure no one from the opposite gender would want to date me anyway. I'm too physically unattractive to be considered 'dating material'.

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  • If they like Justin Bieber, 50 Shades of Grey, or they smoke.

    I'm also a bit hesitant to think about dating someone who is not okay with the idea of me owning a pomeranian sometime in the future. I demand to own a pomeranian.

    animalia-life.com/.../pomeranian7.jpg

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  • I'll say the way I look at a woman.
    * When she is not capable expressing her issues, wants or needs by using actual words. When real issues need to be solved "hints" just won't cut it

    * Showing me the attitude to she wants to be taken care by me instead of taking care of us. When times are good it's no problem but when times are bad she will be gone.

    * Creating drama when there is no drama.

    * Jealousy. Now it's funny but later it becomes worse and worse. (speaking from experience here)

    * Trying to test me how much I like/love her.

    * Too much drinking.

    * When she can't accept my job (which is a DJ) or tries to compete with it or tries to make me quit.

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  • - Smokes cigarettes
    - Drinks excessively
    - Listens to the same 1-2 genres and refuses to give other genres a chance
    - Acts rude to others, especially my mother and brother
    - Tries to force me to drop my best friends
    - Doesn't want to do anything with her life
    - Is unfaithful
    - Is stupid
    - Acts entitled to shit just because she's female
    - Hates animals
    - Doesn't want to get married
    - Hates kids or doesn't want any
    - Hates video games

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    • Forgot to include racism and homophobia, those are huge deal breakers as well.

  • Cheaters first and foremost. It's obvious really but I wasn't going to scroll down to see if anyone had said that already.

    Next is Religion. Not Faith, everyone has faith in something. I'm talking about Religion i. e. going to a church to compare clothes or who's the best liar for a day. Or who needs to die over a different belief.

    Last is Age. I mean more than 5 years younger. 20 something women bless you but, I can't handle your issues anymore. I tried for years in some cases. I'm just done it.

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  • Haven't dated yet so I dunno much about any flags :|

    But well I would most def not want a total bitch or someone who's obese.

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  • Anger all the time
    Caught up in lies
    Not affectionate
    Seems distant
    Fails to express love
    Wants to argue
    These are some of my deal breakers

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  • Religious people,
    Vegans,
    Obese people,
    Promiscuous people,
    "I want to wait for marriage" people,
    "The goal of my life is to have kids and/or marry" people,
    People with multiple failed relationships or kids from previous relationships,
    Frequent users of substances like tobacco, alcohol and drugs,
    Selfish, materialistic or generally not likable people,
    People who don't like cats,

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  • Racism, stupidity, ignorance, homophobia, monogamist, wants marriage or kids,

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  • Entitlement ("soo whatcha gonna buy for me? ") makes me 180 pretty quick

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  • 1. A religious lunatic
    2. Gossips too much. Absolute HUGE red flag if that's one of the first things she does when you barely know her. I have met girls and the first things she said were "Oh hey you know amy right?", "yeah i do", "yeah she's so annoying sometimes and talks too much right?". Trust me fellas, HUGE red flag. Stay away

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  • Treating others badly (e. g. waitstaff). Smoking. Littering. Drinking to excess. Obesity. Religion. Conservative politics. Grammar. Bad hygiene. Bad feet. Anger.

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  • divorced
    kids
    slut past
    past abortion

    those are the automatic disqualifiers.

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  • Overweight, smokes, their religion gets in the way of our relationship, won't spend time with you, doesn't reciprocate feelings towards you, wants your attention when something is wrong but then goes in a shell and doesn't say what is the problem.

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  • I don't want to date someone who is constantly getting morally outraged about things.

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  • Dealbreaker

    Severed Heads in the fridge. (everyone knows you mount on pikes them in the front yard to scare away intruders and frighten your enemies.)

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  • If you play flag football with her and yank a red flag out of her pocket.

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  • Lack of passion, a defining personality and intelligence

    If she's missing one of those... I know ill never see her as the one

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  • Anger or jealousy issues.

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  • -emotional distance thats a biggie
    -lousy sex life meaning she doesn't want to have it
    -

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  • The inability to compromise, and the inability to respect what people deserve (granted they earned it)

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  • my main deal breaker is a girl who never wants kids. i want kids, i have since i was a kid. that is about it

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  • if she is a feminist or makes excuses for feminists
    if she uses sex as a weapon
    if she listens to katy perry, kanye west, beyonce, justin beiber or any other trashy artist
    if she looks like sloth from the goonies

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  • My deal breakers

    -Talking about her ex too much even if it's the baby daddy
    -really big double standards
    -too sensitive
    -can't trust them
    -selfish and ungrateful
    -Don't want to commit

    There are more but those are the main ones.

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  • Bad hygiene, ignorance, arrogance, hates animals, talks too much... That's a few

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  • If the girl can't love me back, that's a dealbreaker for me.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 16

  • Deal breakers:

    1. Doesn't want kids (even adoption)
    2. Doesn't want pets (dogs are preferable, but will accept cats, lizards, fish, rabbits and small animals like that :P )
    3. Doesn't want to get married (or have a similar life-long relationship)
    4. Is racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever/just a dick in general

    It's only really a dealbreaker if we don't want the same things out of the relationship.

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  • Smoking is my #1 deal-breaker from the get-go, before we even start getting to know each other. It doesn't matter how into each other we are. Dating a smoker is a definite no in my books.

    Once we're together, communication and trust are my top priorities. If he can't maintain good open lines of communication with me, that doesn't bode well. I'm not a mind-reader, and take things to heart super easily so if a guy makes a habit of getting frustrated with me for not doing something he wished for without having voiced it previously. I won't stick around for long. Likewise for my being able to trust him. Which would apply to knowing he has only the best intentions, as well as that he won't drop me like a hot potato. Naturally, I'm pretty damn unsure of myself so if I can't trust him fully, definite deal-breaker or I'm on the path to self-destruction.

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  • 1) Cheating
    2) Violence towards me or others
    3) Disrespectful
    4) Racist/Sexist/Homophobic
    5) Highly opposing views on important matters e. g. Lifestyle, Kids, Religion, Relationship Boundaries, etc.
    6) Lying
    7) Has Commitment Issues
    8) Doesn't want Marriage

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  • liars/cheaters/flirty guys/arrogant guys
    a guy who doesn't want kids
    a guy who doesn't have time for me

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  • If he is still legally married or separated
    He's still talking to his ex and hanging out with his ex
    We have a different religion
    He is in a different state or country
    He is taking a break from his girlfriend
    He is verbally abusive or physically abusive
    He has no job

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  • At this very moment I'm questioning myself if it's okay that my boyfriend paid for hookers in the past because prostitution is something I don't support, as I know somebody who is in this "business" and I know how flawed it is. So maybe sleeping with prostitutes, doesn't matter if it was years before meeting me, might be a dealbreaker for me.

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  • if they come home with blood on their clothes everyday without a single wound on their own body...

    BLOOD doesn't COME OUT OF CLOTHES!
    ain't nobody got time for dat !

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  • They need to be a nice person, likeminded, open minded, can make me laugh! Oh and they need to want kids!

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  • Immaturity and being a follower. To clarify on being a follower;... I can't with guys who do things for their friends to be cool. I've had experiences with guys who did certain things to me (such as blowing me off in public) because of peer pressure.

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  • i wish i could go anon so i can tell you the real reason i want to break up with my boyfriend
    but broadly speaking, it would be a difference in core values

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  • If he is a total dick the entire time we are together... no emotional connection... then it's a turn off

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  • Smoking and total reluctance to have kids are my only deal breakers right now.

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  • Erm well

    1. Terrible in bed
    2. Too sensitive
    3. Cries more than i do (i had 3 exs like this its crazy)
    4. doesn't like to gossip
    5. can't drive
    6. Fat
    7. Doesn't like cats

    I have a lot more but these are what i can think of atm

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    • doesn't like to gossip is a deal breaker? or do you mean does like to gossip?

    • Show All
    • yeah ur weird af

    • I don't know they're really fun. Wait this is for dating righy? Not like marriage?😐 @Ohokay

  • Creepiness
    Control freaks

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  • A bad reputation.

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  • he's shorter than me, does drugs, has a child

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