Is he ghosting me or is he just taking space I said I would give?

I dated this guy for a couple of months and we hit a bit of turbulence. We started seeing each other too much, he thought I wanted a serious relationship so tried to give me the im not ready for something serious talk. I got upset bc i wasn't there yet either and felt like him having that convo made it hard for me to be comfy in our relationship.

The last text I sent him last Thursday was:

"I really love spending time with you.. Hanging out.. Joking around and feeling close. Getting to know you over the past couple months has been awesome and I've enjoyed your sweet, genuine, positive, fun energy. Im kind of a sucker for closeness and really like being able to interact without fear on either side. For me, i definitely get easily scared when things are slightly off and feel unsafe so sorry if I've been off lately. I'm just really sensitive to feelings and if there is a sense of closed-offness I just get really uncomfortable and nervous even though I know you'd never intentionally hurt/disappoint me. Anyways, I can sense things are off between us so I'll leave you alone for the time being. Hope you know I'm here if you need to talk about anything."

I meant what I said. I wanted him to not feel pressured by me and our communication had been off.

But he never replied.. Its been a week now.

Is he gone or just thinking?

His complaints were 1) he didn't want to spend so much on dates 2) i just got out of a 5 yr relationship so he didn't want to jump into anything 3) he wasn't looking for something serious


Most Helpful Guy

  • "But he never replied.. Its been a week now."

    What else do you need to know?

    • well its really a terrible feeling to spend all summer close with a guy to have him exit my life in this way if that is what he's really doing. :(

      I thought i would call him Monday and see if he wants to get drinks.

    • Show All
    • there is no chance he took my message to mean that i was taking space right?

    • It's been a whole weekend man!

      Think about it, if i liked a girl.. and she sent me a text that said "i hate you." I'd probably still respond.

      Cut the line brah.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • I mean at this point what is he supposed to do? He wants something you aren't able or ready to give him and it doesn't sound like you will be anytime soon. I wouldn't call that ghosting. You know how he feels and he knows where you are at. He is looking for more but you aren't even in a real relationship yet and freaked when he tried to take things to the next level.

    If you truly think you made a mistake then it probably isn't too late but it doesn't sound like you did. Just bad timing is all. best

    • i mustve made it unclear. he does not want to be serious.. and i dont either.. but i would hope eventually it would get serious.

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    • Yeah sorry. He probably sensed that. Also since you are coming out of a relationship you probably do things when with him that are couple things without realizing it or have sex in a more intimate way that he isn't used to as someone who avoids relationships. Just be glad you know now and not later. If you already really like him it was just going to get worse for you. Just go on dates for a while and get used to meeting different men. Go with no expectations so you won't be disappointed but I think you'll find there are lots of really great guys out there. Even ones that really do want a relationship[ and have the emotional tools to handle one once you are ready. Mr 2-3 month guy is good for sex and maybe a fun night out but no more. He can't help it and maybe when he meets the right person that will change.

    • yeah i definitely started wanting him to do coupley things with me..

      but i wasn't ready to make him my boyfriend.


      Seems so shitty that he can just cut me off like this.