Catfished my online boyfriend :( ?

Okay so.. I met this guy online when I had an online Skype account. I was very self conscious at that time so I would use another girls profile picture. But I never made serious profiles like fb, twitter, or instagram. It was just on Skype... and I don't know why I did it. Its so embarrassing to think about it now. I wanted to stop but I made some really good friends. One of those really good friends and myself became really close friends and we would skype/mic (not cam) with each other often until we both started having feelings for each other. It got to the point where we began dating online. (ik that sounds weird to most of you it was weird for me too). Everything was going so fast, and I didn't want to lie to him. I tried to take a step back and tell him to lets just be friends but he would be hurt and confused. And it hurt me so much to see that in him.
So I let it continue on. Which was soooo wrong.

I guess you can say I got carried away. Whenever he would ask me for a picture I would get all shy and send him pics of the fake girl. He would compliment her. And although he would be saying "you're pretty" to the pictures I guess in my mind I pretended he was saying it to me. That sounds so messed up I know but I was pretty messed up at that time and I won't get in the detail of it here. I knew the relationship was not going to last this way, but if I told the truth it wasn't going to last either. It was bound to end, I just didn't know how I was going to do it.

Naturally, he got curious. He wanted my fb, snapchat, instagram, all that. I told him I couldnt give it to him because I had family or I just didn't like having those things. I guess he read into it and got suspicious and one day he found out that the girl in the pictures I was sending him wasn't me. It devastated him. And it was beyond humiliating for me. He said it was like cheating.

I really could not do anything at that point. But I thought of the only good thing I could

Oh wow, it cut off my question. But basically the other part of it was that I ended up telling him the entire truth and it took a while for him to register it but when it did he backed away. I want to know if he can ever forgive me in his heart? He told all of our mutual online friends so I lost more than just him. But I guess I had it coming. I want to know how it was so easy for him to walk away when I tried fixing it and even after I told the truth. And I want to know if he can forgive me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You have been lying to him since the start. Even if appearance doesn't matter to him or if he found the real you attractive, you've still been lying to him and deceiving him, so he's going to question everything else you've told him about yourself as well, and he has no reason to believe that you didn't tell him other lies.

    • What you said is correct lol. But all I want is to be on good terms. It's weird because when I first showed him myself on video call he didn't mind how I looked. He was okay with it... but I guess the lies caught up to me and everything just got mixed in. I tried everything I could to make it work again, in the end it seemed like he didn't want to talk to me anymore so I stopped. There is absolutely nothing else I could have done to make it hurt less than it already did :/

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... Could do is Be this Honest Jane now and show him the Real YOU, and if he doesn't like who he sees, then let this be a little lesson in life and in love that The Mirror doesn't always have two faces, especially online.
    It got out of hand, and you never thought in a million years things might get to the partner point like. He was right that it was a sense of 'Cheating' but actually he was just 'Cheated' om knowing the girl behind the computer curtain that he already Matched with who he started to know.
    Have a long talk with him, and now you must reveal yourself to him, or maybe lose the best thing that ever happened to you in your life.
    If he is Disappointed, then it was the look that that was the cook in this online relationship and time to move on, putting him on a back burner.
    Good luck. xx

    • I did have a long talk with him and did show him the real me. It just cut off part of my question on the post sorry. I guess I feel an incredible amount of guilt because the whole time i knew it was wrong and yeah. I guess it is a hard thing to forget.

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    • Oh shut up. The only people who accept other people unconditionally are parents and family. Don't give that shit "ohh he wasn't in love".
      Truth of the matter is everything was built on a lie.

    • Well, I learned a big lesson lol.

What Guys Said 4

  • send him your real photo, apologize and say that you still value his friendship and hope he can value yours

    • I did, at first he was okay and tried to ignore all the lies, but later he said that he couldn't and that it was too much because he had real feelings for me and all these lies was basically like cheating.

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    • @rjroy3 yeah its very bad :/
      @Asker give him space, contact him in a week or two and see what happens

    • Thank @rjrory3 You are right. I have Skype video called him. We actually Skype video called all day and night one time. But I guess it was still weird for him.
      Its been 3 months since I last spoke to him and I really want to get back in touch with him

  • So what's the question?

    • That what do I (she) do now? :P

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    • That's very true. It's been 3 months now though. Do you think he might have forgiven me? I don't have contact with him anymore and I want to ask him but I think it would be disrespectful to try and enter his life again.

    • I don't know, you can try.

  • He won't forgive you if you don't show urself and become his lover. If these don't happen; he won't forgive you...

  • Bad girlll


What Girls Said 2

  • Tell him these things.
    Try to convince him.
    If he doesn't respond, leave him coz you know you are at fault.

    • Of course I know I am at fault, but I cannot live with the guilt. I am human too, I have feelings, and we all make mistakes. I'm trying to fix my life.

    • Apologise to him.
      Tell him to forgive you at least, talking again or not his choice.
      That's all you can do.

  • Tell him the truth. It's the only way