How you do learn to trust someone again?

I recently got back together with an ex boyfriend. The split was messy (he literally walked out with no explanation) but we worked out a lot of stuff & are really happy.

We have been together again for almost 4 months, but I still worry he's going to just up & leave me again. He's been nothing but kind, loving, and understanding. He's shown no signs of being unhappy. In fact, just the opposite; he tells me how happy he is to be with me, how much he loves me, how lucky he is that he is getting another chance. But I still worry. Will time shake this feeling, or should it be something we talk about?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's nice that you're back together with someone you love, but it doesn't seem like he's someone you completely trust, with good reason. So you need to work on that. Communication can be one of the most effective tools of building trust, so you need to use that and really get him to express himself so you aren't surprised. You might be scared that he's going to walk out on you again, so you need to also express your own feelings about this. Building trust takes time and should not be handled carelessly. So it is a combination of working it out on an almost daily and weekly thing while letting time take the proper course to let you heal. I will point out that it is a legitimate fear for the one's we love to leave us. And we can't make them stay no matter what we do, that's why you want to chose someone who is going to want to be there for you. If it is this guy, who you can trust completely, then I would stay with him and work it out. But if, after the next few weeks, you can't seem to shake the feelings he put there, the true fear, then I would say even if you are happy, I would move on. I think you should try to work it out, but no one can really tell you how you're feeling,


Most Helpful Girl

  • Throughout our lives our trust is shattered by someone elses wrongdoing. People let each other down all of the time. The most important trust you can have is... to trust yourself. If you can trust yourself to be strong, regardless of what others do to to you, and you can find the courage to adapt to any situation life throws at you.. then all you need is to trust yourself.

    Love never comes with a guarantee. People change, feelings can change. No one can truly guarantee they'll never hurt you or let you down. So you have to love like you'll never be hurt, and trust yourself enough to know that whatever you face in a relationship... you can and will cope with it. Sometimes in life you have to be strong, because being strong is the only choice you have.

    You will only be able to have a happy future with your ex, if you let go of the past. If you don't , then the relationship will fail. Relationships are measured by the bad times not the good. So use the past experience together to make your bond stronger than it was before. Good luck xx 💜


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What Guys Said 1

  • So you're settling for an ex?

    • I wouldn't call it settling. We had a good relationship, but neither of us were ready for a long term commitment. We both grew up a lot in the time apart & we reconnected.

    • If you're getting back with an ex, you're settling

What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't have taken him back honestly why would he just walk out with no explanation? And once you brake up its like trying to put the torn pages of a book back together. I don't think your gonna be able to lose that fear of him leaving you and it's kind of better because if you get too attached then you'll be let down even worse just keep your guard up and be ready to dodge whatever comes your way ! Good luck ! 💖🙏🏼