My boyfriend is best friends with a lesbian, they text and go out all the time, he compared me to her I'm annoyed, he hasn't spoken to me since?

My boyfriend started working a year ago in a new job he became friends with this girl, he says she's a lesbian, they go out together on day trips into town and get the haircuts together ( he started getting a different style since she goes out with him) they text all the time! He won't let me meet her or bring me out to town with her , he says that's his time alone with his friend and I don't have to ever meet her, I asked can I go town next time with them he started a huge fight and started saying I'm 'trying to stop him going'? I'm not I wanted to go along. . he said no.

We had a argument Friday night because he told me she lives in a farm , I giggled, me being a messer I am.. he didn't like it and stick up for her ' how dare u laugh at my friend like that at least she eats proper meals unlike you drinking your horrible bottles of coke! !!' He compared Me to her. I was in his and he said ' be gone from here before I get out of the shower' so I left and he hasn't contacted me since Friday!

It's Sunday now. Did I do anything? Seriously I'm starting to belive he may like her.. is she even a lesbian? I don't no.. I said something like do u have feelings for her and he didn't say a word. I'm so angry he hasn't bothered to talk to me.. his phone is also off limits I'm not aloud near it not that I even want to but I'm not aloud. He won't introduce me to his other coworkers also or take me out with them when he's going out , he keeps saying ' you don't have to met them and you'll just be sitting there with a face in you!' That's a lie because I'm actually great with people and I love meeting new people. Any advice! please xo

Updates:
It's now Sunday evening, 7pm here , he still hasn't spoken to me yet. He hasn't contacted me since Friday. I don't feel like I should text him? I didn't do anything and I always run to him, so is it right for me not to text him? God only knows when he'll talk to me and he won't say sorry , he never does. He hasn't been online since like 4pm.. I keep thinking 'is he with her '? It's annoying me :(
If he dose text me.. whenever that will be.. heat should I say? I want to be confident.
Hi everyone, it's not Monday night and he still hasn't contacted me. It's half 10 at night, he's been on Facebook and WhatsApp and he never text me. Over that girl? Imagine
I'm shocked. What do I do now? He has gone longer without texting but never over a girl or a friend like? :( thanks guys. Just wanted to update the situation x

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Most Helpful Guy

  • His excuses and reasons don't make any sense. I think he may like her. And you should be worried and concerned. I think their is more to the story then he is telling you. Also he won't let you look at his phone or meet his co-workers. That is good he told you that he hangs out with her. But I think their is more to their friendship. If you trust him then don't make it an issue. If you don't trust him then you might have to investigate more or break up or take a break from him. It's unfair that he throws her in your face and compares her to you.

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    • Thank you for the upvote. I hope you can work things out with him.

    • Thanks so much for your feedback to me. I just really need people's views on this because I'm so confused and upset :( I don't no what to do or think. It's hard when he's not even talking to me now. Thank u again

    • Your very welcome. I think when he cools down he will talk to you. It does suck on the way he is acting. His behavior and attitude is wrong because you have every right to question him about the other girl

Most Helpful Girl

  • there's no need for him to not let u meet her. If he doesn't have anything to hide he would def take u out to meet her and have a fun time. You're hurting yourself emotionally. The waiting for his text thing. I know how you feel. It's hurting you so hard. Do you still love him? Communicate this with him. And ask him if he still loves you and have feelings for her FACE TO FACE not text. If he confess to it. Respext yourself enough to leave. If he doesn't, clear out the worries and frustrations with him clamly, don't shout. I feel you. I would love listen if you need anyone at all. I'll be here.

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    • Thank u so much for your feedback . It's crazy I'm so upset , I think he dose have feelings for her because I remember I said that to him and he just blanked me :( were together years , he tells me he loves me and want to be with me.. uts just this stuff about not taking me out or meeting the girl or his coworkers. . he's ignoring me now still it's Sunday night and I sat in all day :( alone. While he's probably out, why isn't he just texting me? I'll ask him that when he speaks to me and he'll just say ' awh well u never wrote to me ' but I didn't do anything :( he compared me to her by saying about the meals .. it just so upsetting when someone u though would never hurt me and he does :( he don't appreciate me :(

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    • Hun, he's on social media and whats app. what does this tell you? he doesn't care. Oh! what job? congrats btw! :) Tell him about it and see what he says? If not focus on that job. It's ok to be upset and to cry. You're only human. I understand. I feel your pain. *hugs*

    • Thank you 💙💙x

What Guys Said 9

  • well things are about to get REAL if you want to know the truth then read on:

    Good you are here. This girl IS NOT I repeat is NOT a lesbian. Your boyfriend sounds like he's cheating pretty badly and your gut is telling you it's true (hence your suspicion)

    Trust me 9 - 10 times when you think they are cheating THEY ARE.

    Just stay quiet next time and play along like you dont care and one day by "total coincidence" appear where they are supposed to be at. if they are not there then thats a pretty clear sign

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    • I totally agree with this ! This is a real man right here,

    • P. D. read the updates your boyfriend sounds like a dick why are you with him again?

    • We have been together years! And he was amazing at the start. I keep hoping things will change. I love him with all my heart but I hate how he acts with me and with this other girl on the sence. He was someone I looked at and new would never hurt me but now I'm just constantly upset. He never takes me out but will go with her.. and he goes out with other coworkers. When he's nice he's a great guy. He also told me he found another coworker attractive. . but would never go there. I feel like he thinks I'm a doormat I probably am at this stage :(

  • Im sorry to say this, but you know very well what's going on. I think your boyfriend and his lesbian friend are more than friends; it's not easy to hear it, but hearing your story it sounds like they are fooling around together

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  • What you do is you date a guy who treats you like a friend, not a secret. If a guy won't introduce you to his other friends, then he's not really interested in having you in his life, only in his bed.

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  • Sounds hella fishy to me. I'd try and get to the bottom of it, pronto. Or, if you really don't trust him, end it. Lack of trust will ruin things for you eventually, so better to get out now

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  • I think he's been conditioned by society so fiercely to believe that your only reaction would be jealousy and cuntiness that, even though you're not being that, he's projecting that image into you.

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  • Lol im so sure. he's either cheating or u must be really boring that he'd rather hang out with another woman, lesbian or not. Regardless, you'll never know

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  • She's made up.

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  • He sounds like a cunt to me.

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  • Basically dump him. You can find better anywhere

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What Girls Said 11

  • He sounds like he's cheating, and if he isn't doing that then he certainly has feelings for her. Leave him. He's a jerk and he's being very rude and hurtful toward you, you deserve so much better. Don't endure this emotional torment for any longer, break up with this loser.

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  • From your story it doesn't sound your behaviour warranted any such reaction from him. It does sound like he has some feelings for her. But regardless of that, I got the feeling that he is not very nice to you. He seems to speak to you in a derogatory way. Be careful with that, it's very easy to slip into an abusive relationship. It's happened to me as well.

    I'd say don't text him for now, wait for him to reach out to you. Give it about two weeks. If you don't hear from him, call him and tell him that you would like to talk. Sit down with him and try to get him to open up about what the issue is here (without being accusatory. The intention is to just get to know what's going on, no judging.) Once you have the facts, reevaluate your relationship with this guy.

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    • Hi thank u for your feedback, I'm wondering how did the abusive start with u? My partner has called me names and blames me for everything and only sees me when he wants to. He always leaves me hanging for days /week after a argument. He has called me a cu*t and stupid and has even said I'm crazy I need help etc. Is that what happened with u?

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    • But when this kept happening in a cycle, I realised it can't be fixed and broke up with him within 6 months.

    • These relationships can really affect you and your confidence, which in turns ruins a lot of other things in your life - like your success at school, work, your relationship with your family and friends. If I were you, I would seriously reevaluate if I want to be with this person. You deserve to be treated well.

  • Leave him. He is clearly more interested in his friend than you.
    img.picturequotes.com/.../...ust-words-quote-1.jpg

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  • His reaction was dumb. Since he's your boyfriend, he should know how you are and that you are a "messer". Yes, it was a bit harsh to tell him to "get out of here", but still. He over-reacted and got offended for nothing when you giggled (there's absolutely nothing wrong with that). And the whole "you don't need to meet them" bullshiz shows that he doesn't see your true value and doesn't want to show off what he can't see. Really, get rid of him as soon as you can. It's probably not what you want to hear, but that's how I feel about it. First, he dares lying to you, then he sets you aside and gets upset at the smallest pun you make. He's not worth it, really. Don't contact him. If ever I'm wrong, he'll call you back sooner or later. But don't tell him a thing! The silence method works 90% of the time. I've used it more than once and it worked! I have a psycho obsessive ex who can't let me be, (it's been about 7 months). I never talk to him, never text him and it drives him nuts. Conclusion: you really have better things to do. You're in control, 'cause you're the one who told him to get lost.

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    • Thanks for your feedback. He actually told me to get out of his house. It was him, not me xx

  • I dont trust his reasons. He sounds like he has more going on with this girl. Trust your instincts! I know that we like to not trust them and believe it isn't true but work with your gut. If he is indeed then it maybe time to move on.

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  • Omg he didn't even consider your feelings...
    I'd say leave him. Even if he says that he wants to be with you, his actions don't define that. He wants to be with the other girl. If he ''wanted'' to be with you, he would at least let you meet his friends since you would be with him you know? He's keeping you in the dark and I wouldn't put up with that.

    Cut contact with him and start moving on. Work on yourself cause I think you look pretty hurt by all of this.

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  • He's s dick. Dump him

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  • Break up!
    He is being unreasonable and flipping the blame back on you when you make perfectly reasonable requests. He doesn't love you at all, you need to face that. You may be a nice fuck, maybe he likes you, likes spending time with you, but you don't mean much to him. Drop him now for your own good. He will just do it somewhere down the road in your stead when he manages to replace you.

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  • There are 2 different lesbians. One is butch and the other is feminine. Butch ones sometime claim gay and have sex with other man. I think his lesbian friend is butch one. Maybe she (he) will be interested in fisting you so your boy friend won't let you meet him. Maybe your boy friend afraid that you turned out to be a lesbian and run away together

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  • Are you sure the girl is a lesbian, have you seen prove? Like have you looked her up. It sounds like he's cheating on you with her and he said she's a lesbian as a way of making it seem like it's okay for him to be with her and take her out. Maybe as a way of you not being suspicious. I think you need to break up with him, you seem unhappy and he is not treating you well.
    If she is a lesbian it does seem like he has a crush on her. If they were just friends he would let you meet her. Furthermore he might be keeping you a secret from her and his co-workers. They might not know you exist.

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  • Leave him ASAP. He is not into you.

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    • I don't understand because he says he wants to be with me? 😣😣😣 thank u for your feedback xxx

    • You don't need to take that kind of mental torture. He clearly does not love you or respect you based on his actions.

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