Will becoming more physically attractive help me meet a girl who likes me for me?

As of now no girls ever show any romantic interest. I'm barely chubby and am dieting. I will also be trying to get fit. If girls show interest in me after I will feel they don't really like for who I am, but just my looks. Is this the case or are looks just what makes people inially interested but doesn't go far? Will a girl I start dating still like me if I gained weight after etc?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes.

    What I think is, when we look at the opposite sex, there are two things we see:
    attractiveness/compatibility and health/fitness.

    When a person appears more healthy, we think of them as a better mate for reproduction - one who can take care of our children effectively. And that is all that is in our subconscious mind. Thus, a healthier person is more likely to be attractive, although this can differ for different people.

    Besides, staying healthy requires effort and there's got to be some reward. So more people find you attractive and wish to be with you.

    And what I think about 'liking you for who you are' is more of your personality/character or your past than the physical looks (usually).
    However, the good news is not everyone is looking for models out here for partners (though we wouldn't mind! ;) ), but just other normal people like themselves. Ofc, you should be like yourself (to the world) but have to do something out of the ordinary for the person you love so you can impress and make them fall for you.

    Good day, stranger!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • try to keep it off but confidence will go a long way too timing is key dont be afriad of rejection dont fall too hard too fast dont let a break up ruin you and dont seem desperate wich means dont overly obsess dont forget you're homies live for the day working out should be actual "work" or a job they dont just want money but money can be usfull when it comes to dates the guys who look "cut" usually are jerks and women find this intriuging but dont be a jerk dont be afriad to show emotions but not to often its a game of balance inner strength will get you a lot further than the outer in life and relationships if you want a relationship take time slowly get to know a girl that you know keep spending time with her untill she gets to know you for who you are that is key if she doesent know who you truly are then she can't love you for who you are dont get discouraged keep pushing she's waiting its up to you to find her she's waiting for you to somewhere get up and go get her! as always stay happy stay healthy and stay handsome!

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What Girls Said 12

  • Will becoming more physically attractive help me meet a girl who likes me for me?
    Possibly as likely being physically attractive will increase your appeal thus your options.

    "If girls show interest in me after I will feel they don't really like for who I am, but just my looks. "
    I doubt you seek out unattractive and repulsive gals. Likely you want a gal you find attractive and more likely you want to have sex wig her. That doesn't necessarily mean you want a gal just for her looks and sex.

    Is this the case or are looks just what makes people inially interested but doesn't go far?
    In my opinion it depends on the gal.

    Will a girl I start dating still like me if I gained weight after etc?
    Probably as I find gals are way more forgiving on looks than guys. Though she may not be as physically attracted to or as interested in sex.

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    • Disagree guys are willing to lower our standards girls never stand down even average 5 out of 10 girls expect hot guys. Maybe because I'm in school and these girls are immature.

    • @DeltsBrah
      Your extremist claim of never is disprpven by how many couples are guys with more attractive gals vs gals with more attractive guys.

      An okCupid study showed that 2/3's of men went for 1/3 of the most attractive gals. While gals despite finding most of the guys below average sought out most of the guys.

      Studies on male and female behavior show it is usually guys who expect the hot gals.

  • For me and probably a lot of other women, it is NEVER just about looks. I am attracted to people who are active mostly because I myself am active, and want a partner with a similar lifestyle and values. If someone looks fit, I know they would be okay going for hikes and bike rides and all the things I enjoy doing. Working out and eating well are signs that you care about your body, regardless of how it makes you look, and that is what is attractive to me. There are also plenty of people who are very healthy and have a bit of weight on them, and this wouldn't deter me from potentially being interested in someone.

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    • This is what I look for as well. The first girl I've dated was heavier and she didn't want to do the things I wanted to. So I understand. I just wonder why so many girls don't see me as a potential partner.

  • Yes, it certainly can. Also, the quest to become physically attractive usually involves improved health which alone is worth it for you and to get more attention/more chances from women can add to the benefits. Looks and superficial aspects like career/aspiration gets someones' attention, but personality and other factors keeps them there (except for gold digger type I suppose). What happens after the connection is made is a tossup but generally a lot more forgiving if you gain weight after for example.

    It's the same for women, if we become more physically attractive. It probably matters more for us since guys are so visual... but overall, same idea.

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  • Looks is what initially attracts a person, but it is not what makes them stay in a relationship. In nature ( both in the human world and the animal world), in order to attract a mate, we try to make ourselves more appealing. ( kinda like how marketing works. do you think that the iPhone would be as appealing without all the fancy advertising and packaging?) So when we date, we want to put our best foot forward, to attract the best person for us. As we get to know the person, their other qualities, like kindness, generosity, loyalty, adventurous, sense of humour etc, because more important.

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  • Well, we can be attracted to people for different reasons, but the girl that wants to stay with you in a relationship will do so because of the way you are and treat her.

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  • Well, looks are the first thing you see when you lay your eyes on someone! So women will obviously like your looks beforehand! That's what will attract them first. Ask them out and show the best of yourself. Show that the looks are great, but the personality is even better!

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  • Yes, becoming physically attractive can help you meet a girl. I know it's vain, but to be fair, our personalities aren't written across our foreheads. It works this way for women trying to attract men.

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  • Of course physical attraction plays a part in every relationship. Jeez, I'm a demisexual yet i still would rather have an attractive partner, even though thats the opposite of what I'm interested in.
    Every girl has a different idea of what is attractive or their own 'type' but this doesn't mean that you have to conform to one look for all girls to like you. Some like thin lanky guys, some like super muscly hulk type guys.
    Overall, a personality is the most important factor in a relationship. You can be as attractive as you like, but if you are a downright douchebag, you won't go far.

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  • It'll help boost your self-esteem and give ya an ego boost, so yea

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  • Yes. Work out, have a positive attitude, be well groomed, dress well, and that should help you out in every aspect of life.. not just with girls.

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  • The physical aspect does matter to some extent, but not always how you'd presume. Physical attraction is important in a relationship but that doesn't mean you must be buff. It means whoever you meet... there is a mutual physical desire. However, you want a woman who will equally desire your character, trust, mental, emotional and spiritual attention. A well-kept woman also desires a man who has himself 'together' beyond appearances yet humble enough to be loved in his weakest moments.

    It's difficult to date someone if their lifestyle choices contradict your own. However, in a long-term relationship, life happens and people change. When appearances no longer matter... will you still have a fruitful relationship? How you look may matter now, but relationship dynamics shift as a couple ages. Take your current focus in stride and make your inner strength, confidence and inner beauty as a blessed man outweigh the external.

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  • Try to date someone who knows you well and you know them the longest, that is how it begins.

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What Guys Said 7

  • what it will do is help get your foot in the door, then you have your chance to shower them with your "amazing" personality and see if they will take it or leave it.

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  • Attraction gets you in the door. personality keeps you there. No one really likes a person for who they are initially.

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  • in my opinion, being more attractive and taking care if your body will help you in literally just about everything in life

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  • Possibly, but moreso than that they'll be more interested in you as a person. If you start taking care of your body it'll lead to better lifestyle habits, more confidence, etc...

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  • I got more attractive through years of gym and it does help, but my chubbier friends who actually look 36 (I look 25 according to some... yay!!!) get way more than me. Being a nice guy is more detrimental than looks in male attraction.

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  • Dude I have become fit and girls still trash my looks they don't know what the fuck they want

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  • no, it can have the opposite effect.

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