"Treat them mean, keep them keen." Is this the key to happy relationships (especially for guys)?

As a guy, I'm asking mostly from the man's pov (i. e. does this tactic work on women?) but I'm curious if people believe this method to be effective.

Does ignoring a girl that's interested in you (within reason) make you more atttractive?

""Playing hard to get might be one way that people – women in particular – can test their prospective mate's commitment and to manipulate their prospective mates to obtain what – or whom – they want," said the psychologists who carried out the study. "We revealed that the more unavailable a person is, the more people are willing to invest in them. It seems as though your grandmother's advice might be true – absence may indeed make the heart grow fonder.""
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/loves-big-secret-play-hard-to-get-8395973.html

  • This tactic is essential in happy relationships of all kinds.
    3% (1)17% (3)8% (4)Vote
  • This tactic helps but you have to be very careful about it.
    18% (6)22% (4)20% (10)Vote
  • This tactic works for short term relationships only.
    3% (1)11% (2)6% (3)Vote
  • This tactic only works on some people.
    27% (9)28% (5)27% (14)Vote
  • This tactics is a myth.
    12% (4)11% (2)12% (6)Vote
  • Don't. Do it. Ever.
    37% (12)11% (2)27% (14)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think there is a little something to that line of thought... But just a little bit. Men & women typically just think differently about situations. When a guy is really interested and shows it, a woman will sometimes respond in a way that may seem clingy to the guy all of the sudden.

    I think it can go both ways (for men and women) but I think the key is maintaining a good amount of space and affection at the same time. The struggle is finding the balance... Not sure being 'mean' is really the best way to handle that though.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's the thing: Unless you have some serious money and/or personal power behind you, playing bouncer with your personal time against women will not work to your advantage.

    This is why celebrities get as much action as they do (or can do), because they have both money and personal power. And money can buy personal power.

    More likely, you are going to start developing a reputation as a snob, because women do talk and occasionally "compare notes." And that quote applies to those in a committed relationship that either find themselves distanced or they cannot be with one another as much as they'd like to be (like if one or both have demanding jobs).

    You may be listening to some bad advice or are misinterpreting it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, true... but only if that heart is keyed to another.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Since you want male pov, I didn't vote, but the psychology behind it is: when a guy can be an ass at times, the woman gets upset or sad from being treated badly-her mod spikes down. When he is then super sweet and nice, her mood spikes high. So the good moments feel really really good.

    When a guy is nice all the time, her mod is consistent towards him. She doesn't experience the lows, but the same kind acts won't make her feel quite as good.

    So if you go that route, is a balancing act. The only woman who will stay to be treated poorly all the time is one who doesn't have the confidence to leave. The high spikes ate imperative.

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  • "Be emotionally manipulative and abusive to keep someone in a relationship with you"

    Uhhhh no. That's not how healthy relationships work.

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  • Only works in the short term on very, very insecure girls/women... and it's a really dick way to try to get someone's attention.

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  • nothing says i like you like mild disinterest lol. not.

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  • Just don't do it. Do not play hard to get, whether you're male or female.

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  • If a guy is mean to me, I will not want him more. I will ask him wtf is his problem and leave if he's my boyfriend. I would never stay with a guy who treats me like shit

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  • I agree with it but you also have to be careful not to over do it because that can result in her just loosing interest and may be thinking this guy is just hot and cold just to play with woman emotions...

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What Guys Said 6

  • I wouldn't say treat them mean I would say give them 90% of you but remain aloof like she's not important. first she has to like you but women have this need to leave you hurt if she leaves. I feel that women will stick around just till you fall for her so when she leaves you're hurt and she feels like she won or something.

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  • Mix it up... Be a rude jerk one day and the next day, act 'sweet and caring'... Keep her guessing... Don't volunteer information about yourself but let her ask you about your life... Even then, answer one question, evade the next. Be very, casual about your past relationships, family issues, etc. One dangerous gamble is to withhold physical affection on the first couple of dates. And NEVER initiate making out or sex. Frustrate her long enough, and she'll drop hints about sex, when she does, let her know that you want to 'know her a little more before'...

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  • Great dating advice, but horrible relationship advice. You do need space, but you shouldn't ignore your partner

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  • Always be kind. To everyone.

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  • This works on ugly girls and high schoolers. A hot girl will not tolerate a guys bad attitude unless he's really rich or really good looking. And im talking tolerate, not enjoy

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    • You'd be surprise.

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    • Look, I'm not in the mood so if you were being insulting, please don't

    • @loved2blovedbyu You sound like a troll

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