How come a lot of girls like the smaller guys now?

In older days girls would pick a big strong guy because they wanted a guy that could protect them. Today I see a lot of girls picking smaller skinnier guys. I could see it as a personality thing because girls see big strong guys a lot of the times as being too cocky or in to themselves. But what if there was a big strong guy with a great personality that treated you with respect? And why is it that girls are liking the skinnier guys a lot?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People like what they like. You can't pick and choose who you're attracted to and I would even argue that most women have not and do not go for the "big strong guy" because a) there are only so many "big strong guys" to go around and b) women in the past few hundred years have always gone for other traits as well such as personality. The older/more mature you get, the less big muscles on a guy (and big boobs on a girl) seem to matter when choosing a partner. It also depends on the crowd you hang out with. A lot of people in a nearby neighborhood are hipster folks and the guys tend to be skinny, of average height and bearded and have no problem finding girls. In another nearby neighborhood there's a large Hispanic population and many of the guys are on the shorter side, but have no problem dating, though it's usually only within their community. Going after the biggest, strongest, most athletic guy is very much an American high school thing. As people have become more tolerant and gender rules become less rigid, more and more guys feel comfortable taking on seemingly feminine/androgynous qualities/traits and it's seen as more and more acceptable to date such guys, which is great. Everyone's entitled to be happy!

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    • Wow that's a great answer. Never thought of it that way before. I'm sorry if I also offended you in this question

What Girls Said 41

  • If there was this big strong guy who had a great personality and treated me with respect, then I see nothng to refuse here. Unless he was like crazily big, because personally I am turned off by over musular guys.

    I think that girls are liking the skinnier guys more, because media has made it seem like the bigger guys are intimidating and 'better' and girls might feel inferior to that.

    Personally, I don't like the scrawny guys...because it doesn't quite look proportioned...to me I think something in the middle would do fine, and it's a pretty big range.

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  • In my opinion you could be attracted to someone you would least expect. Some girls dream about a big strong guy to protect them and be respectful to them (I do sometimes, but that won't happen for me) some like the smaller ones because well, they do. Personally I think looks should come second not first, because looks can be deceiving. There's a girl out there looking for her big strong guy you just haven't found her yet...

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  • I'm just more physically attracted to skinny guys, there's nothing else to it. Skinny guys can be strong too, they just don't look like it. It doesn't really matter what he looks like unless it interferes with attraction and if the nice strong guy came along and was a decent fellow I'd give him a shot. I can also see why girls would think muscular guys would be d***s because hot girls think that there the sh*t and can treat people like sh*t so why wouldn't it work the other way around?

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  • personally I am not a fan of skinny guys I LOVE muscle...not trying to sound mean there but I like it when guys have a nice body but I hate it when they are cocky..HUGE turnoff...if you treat a girl with respect you sound like my dream guy.

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  • Yeah I don't understand it either. I like guys who are tall, and muscular. A skinny little boy who looks like a girl because he is so skinny and petite does not attract me at all. I want a guy who is big and strong because it makes me feel protected and taken care of. I am in high school, and I can't tell you how many times I see girls holding hands with pixie men(who at first glance always seem to be a girl) I have noticed how most of the girls in my school go for the smaller skinnier guys, and the tall, muscular ones are standing on the outskirts unnoticed. My brother is a big guy. He is younger than me by two years, but he is 6'5 and buff. lol he complains all of the time how he can't get a girl, and all of the girls he likes are dating skinny jean wearing pussies.

    I think one of the things that come first when you see someone, is physical attraction. You can't exactly be interested in someone if you don't know their personality, so it is safe to say that physical attraction comes first. And it also very safe to say that I am only attracted to big guys.

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    • Wow that's exactly what I was thinking. Except after awhile I thought about it and what actually bothers me the most is the emo or scene guys who wear the skinny jeans like you were saying. Some guys are naturally skinny and the difference between being skinny and looking and acting like a girl are different. I bet your brother plays football too.

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    • Yeah I play football too. So if a guy is 6'5 then he's pretty much destined to play football hahaha. Yeah but I also don't get the hair in the face thing either.

    • I agree completely with Clary. I like em big too

  • Lol, My boyfriend is actually skinier than me :( I feel like a fatty. The isue is I like guys with a nice personality, and muscular popular dudes seem to be too much into their egos to be in to me or treat me right. In fact my ex was obsesed with manliness(he was average),and was constantly denying that he was wipped ( I could get the guy to slap himself). I wasn't even trying to whip him I got p*ssed when he was like I'm the man, you're my bitch. My current Boyfriend is skinny and he even told me he was submisive, and I'm ok with it. We' ve been friends for a while and his personality won me over. I just don't want a guy bitching about manliness and being in charge.

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  • I've gone out with two big/ tall guy & the rest have been about my height. I think it's not true for everyone because I prefer taller guys or slightly muscular guys as opposed to those who are average

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  • its because more women are on birth control.

    when women are going through their normal cycle, their hormones tell them to look for a big strong man with a high sperm count that will easily get them pregnant.

    when women are pregnant, their hormones drive them to look for a man who is sensitive, understands what they are feeling and will help them take care of the baby, i.e. a more feminine, skinny man.

    now that women are on birth control their bodies are tricked into thinking they are pregnant all the time, so they aren't as interested in the masculine man. This is not to say that all women who go for skinny men are on birth control, but since there is such a high population of women that are, skinny guys are "in fashion".

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    • Fascinating...

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    • TRYING TO NOT get pregnant (during ovulating)?!?!

      *blinks*

    • Thats the point of being on birth control....NOT getting pregnant.

  • I would love to find a big strong guy with a great heart and personality, however all the guys that I have seen are on the shorter skinny side. At the gym I go to I'm the same height or a little shorter then most of the guys and they are all skinny. And the one big strong guy I now is already taken, so that leaves few options in my case however if you seem unapproachable, even if you don't mean to and being tall girls might be intimidated by you. But if you smile and let your personality show then girls will feel more comfortable around you. But otherwise I have no idea why girls are more attracted to skinny guys, I know I'm not.

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  • I think mostly cause now a days girls try to wear the pants in the relationship and it's easier to do so with a smaller/skinnier guy. I personally love the old-fashioned style: muscles, a bit taller than me, masculine personality but a gentleman at the same time.

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  • A lot of my friends are much more attracted to the big, strong, masuline type. I personally am not usually initially attracted to them. I don't really know why I guess. And I have always been drawn to smaller guys. I'm not so much a fan of really skinny, more trim and toned. And the few times I'm bee drawn to the bigger guys, they've been really tall bigger guys. I'm very seldom drawn to the "average" height guys.

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  • it's like asking guys why they like skinner girls.

    it depends on the person and their preference.

    it's different for all girls.

    i prefer a bulky guy, not fat,

    but tall and built, my friends like

    slender. perhaps you're intimidating to approach?

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  • I definitely prefer bigger taller guys. I like the skinnier taller guy too (I just love tall guys), but the bigger guy just makes me melt because they do seem stronger and as though they could protect me easier.

    But every girl is different and if someone treats you with respect and is just a great guy, it shouldn't matter what he looks like.

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  • it's the whole emo/scene kids thing, plus with a lot of actors today, beauty in men is being redefined into a more feminized look.

    personally, androgynous guys are attractive, especially facial features, but I still prefer a tall, strong, manly-looking guy. I'm not into the lanky or scrawny guys.

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  • Honestly, as long as the guy isn't obese or shorter than me (I'm 5'8") and takes good care of himself, then I don't care what he looks like, as long as he treats me well. A little cockiness never hurt anyone, but some sensitivity would be nice too... just as long as he's still a MAN. Currently, I'm in the process of liking two guys: 1.) A talented, yet skinny 5'10" guy who plays guitar and sings in his screamo band- super sweet and cute with blond hair and blue eyes. and 2.) A slightly cocky, yet cute and sweet 6'2" football player who I KNOW could protect me from anything, has a smile that makes me weak in the knees, and toned muscles that I could run my hands all over! I adore them both, but I guess it's whoever takes intrest in me first (:

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  • I have no idea I like a bigger guy that can handle anything no sweat. I have no idea what a girl would want with a little tiny guy.

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  • I don't like guys that weigh less than me

    BUT I do like skinny guys. For height I'd prefer for him to be at least my height or taller but not taller than like 6'3".

    I don't know but I get intimidated by very tall or very muscular guys. Like I'm scared he'd get mad and do something very bad to me >__<)

    But if he's a big strong guy likes me and he's a marshmallow on the inside and treats me with respect of course I would like him. ^_^

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    • Oh and I am not on birth control yet I still prefer skinny guys.

      Many smaller guys can protect a girl just fine, and I know several big guys that aren't the protective manly type.

  • Personally, I like the really tall skinny and white guys I don't know why I'm just into them for some reason. Although my boyfriend is tall and somewhat white and pretty strong and buff but not that buff he's like in between but I find myself attracted to the sensitve, polite, poetic, romantic, skinny, white, tall guys. I guess because I like the attention they give me like being sweet and polite and always being a gentlemen while the big strong guys won't treat me that way. For instance, my boyfriend isn't all polite and romantic he's not a gentlemen but one of my very close friends who is in love with me is a gentlemen. I think some women, like me, are attracted to those men because they are kind and they treat you with respect and they are very romantic while those big tough built guys treat you like sh*t

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  • Well I think we like buff guys, but they can think they are so hott and all that, which is unattractive. skinny guys usually have more personality because they aren't always thinking about how hott they are.

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  • The skinnier guys to me are ok. There's not much to hug though. I like the in-between guys, the ones that have a little muscle but aren't too muscular. A lot of muscles scare me cause the guy looks more intimidating. I like the ones that don't look like they could hurt me. My mom was abused by my dad. That's mostly why.

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  • I would go for a who was muscular and had a great personality. I think it has to do with wearing the pants as crazy_staci said. But also sometime it just happens that way. Plus where I'm at and depending on your location, I don't see a lot of them. They're there I just don't see a lot of them around here.

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  • probably because their also skinny.. don't really know. Id like a guy like that, it feels nice when a big strong guy holds you in his big arms.. I'm all for bigger guys. I can't date a guy who weighs less than me, it makes me feel bigger than I am in reality lol

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  • I feel like you should have defined what you mean by "big." If you mean big as in on the chubby side, women don't like them for the same reasons men don't like chubby women. If you mean muscular, it's because that tends to be an indicator of being high maintainence or self focused. this is not too dissimilar to super skinny girls with fake tans and elaborate makeup; she may be a stellar person but she still looks like a bimbo. Also, the time for women seeking men to protect them has long since passed.

    If you want girls to pay more attention to you nowadays, put down the barbells and pick up a guitar.

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    • What if you play guitar drums and bass sell painting and drawings but also like to work out. and getting a biochem degree. and a great tango salsdge me on my looks because I am muscular because its a left over passion from the football days.

  • I think it has a lot to do with women becoming more independent and not feeling like they need to be protected like they did a few years ago.

    But in saying that personality has a lot to do with the way women perceive men... Some tall, strong guys can seem a bit intimidating if you don't know them. Especially if you are a woman that is not very tall.

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  • I just like what I like. It's definitely a personality thing thing for me. However, if I could make my perfect man, he would be big and strong with a great personality who could protect me. I'm short and kind of teeny, so I just like guys who are bigger(taller and more muscular) than me anyways. I also think that you could have a vision of what your perfect guy would look like, but you could meet a guy and fall for him, unexpectedly. I guess that's just how love happens, ya know?

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  • I don't have a preference to big or small guys myself... but I think I may have avoided bigger guys at times because I'd been abused by a couple of men. So while a bigger guy may look like he can wrap his arms around me, he could look like he could really hurt me too. I think it just comes down to personal preferences for most people.

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  • Big guys all the way. :)

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  • I like big muscular guys. Football player type. But I do notice that those guys are not as much in with most of the girls, but as you said often those guys are cocky or jerks and only want sex.

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  • Well if you are a really nice guy, then some girl will like you. I mean who cares about looks honestly, if a girl likes you, it won't matter how you look.

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  • Personally I rather a big guy but girls will sometimes want a small/skinny guy because sometimes a big guy will feel like he can control you more and sh*t where as the smaller guy will treat you on grounds of equality.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 14

  • I think females these days are afraid of big strong guys. There seems to be a stereotype attached to having a powerful body means you must be an angry abusive ignorant person.

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    • Yeah that's exactly what I think too. It sucks

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    • Yeah me too. I'm pretty lean, but my shoulders are borad and I'm pretty ripped. Not bragging, but being honest.

    • "Most people around me find something very scary about a powerful, quite, but very confident guy."

      Couldn't agree more.

  • Ehm, well little huge dude, you see, couldn't it be just us being in the 21th century, being a Tarzan is not important anymore, hell it does not even make you a good living these days.

    It all about the brains now, muscles are useless, back in the ice age women loved the huge guy so they can get protection...

    No can anybody tell me, how does the huge tall guy protect a girl more than an average sized guy? an average sized guy can even be way much smarter than a Tarzan or a guerilla wannabe macho.

    Bodybuilders dumb crap anyone? I bet all the blood goes to the buffy meat instead of their brains, so sad muscles don't last, only brains do, and the wealth that you build with your body and muscles never lasts for so long as well, just look at what kind of wealth brains alone can make.

    Think google, Facebook, inventors, microsoft, economical and financial icons in the society, just tell me how many of them was so tall and muscular.

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    • Brains don't last if you develop alzheimers.

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    • And I didn't really want to sound so ignorant, you know I think huge guys are usually nice when the tiny ones are often mean, I'm average and I love it... I only wanted to point out that it's not really important for guys to take on meds and crap to gain muscle because it only screws up their health, it's cool to be athletic and healthy and that's all about it, no less and no more.

      Sure so many huge people can be smart, think germans and their innovations, natural is okay, steroids are awful.

    • Well they say one must have a sound mind and a sound body to be successful in life. Or something along those lines haha

  • They pick the small guys so they can tell him what to do and boss him around, basically make him their bitch, I see this all the time. If a chick picks a guy who is in shape her little fists of furry won't do much to him but p*ss him off, and forget trying to tell him what to do. I work with guys who are skeletons and they literally can't lift a 50lb bag of dog food, it's just sad that the chicks who are not fat not and that strong can lift the bags and he can't.

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    • Hmmm... Definitely a good observation cause I also see that the guys that are p**** wipped the most are skinnier. I'm thinking now that this could also be a differnece with personalties too. Because it could be influenced by the cry baby that is produced today.

  • Times have changed unfortunately for the larger built male (nothing to do with the size of your manhood either). Nowadays a lot of women prefer the smaller man because they count them as one of their girl friends, Imagine a man being a small dog that you can put in your handbag (most celebs have them) they can be controlled easier, they have become more gentle and non-offensive. Being soft and gentle doesn't make you gay or a fairy queen, it's a preference women like, myself being of 6'2 statue and near 265lbs makes me an outcast to many, besides men who are smaller in statue hang out with many smaller men to it's just one of those things..

    So next time you're out with your friends have a good look at men and their friends, you'll soon figure it out..

    Some girls like to be swamped by a larger statue male as it makes them feel safe.

    Mercedes 500 sel or Smart car? What would you rather be with or in?

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  • Girls like big guys if they know that he is safe, mature, and responsible for his actions. The problem is that more often than not, in most cases, male or female, in this particular society and others, people are not and that scrawny dude is a safe choice. If he turns out to be abusive for no reason, he's scrawny and less damage done. If she's unsafe, immature, and illresponible the scrawny guy won't do much about it physically (again, just safer). The reason for the big guy being wanted more in the old days was because he was her main and sometimes only source of protection which is not true anymore with laws and police being a bit more fair to the fairer sex.

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    • that is completely wrong, some women just like skinny guys just like some guys like chubby girls, it's just what turns them on sexually. It doesn't matter how big a guy is if he has some sort of weapon to beat the girl with.

  • Just for the record, skinnyness has nothing to do with personality. Just saying. k thanks I've been trying to gain weight for sports for years and I just can't.

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    • Like I told the guy at the bottom of your answer. I forgot to add guys like you. I'm sorry.

    • Forgiven ;-)

    • Yeah I was kinda talking about the girlish looking guys compared to the burly masculine guys you saw back then.

  • The meat heads our out, and the nerds are in.

    LOL, sorry, been wanting to say that in a sentence somewhere, but just never had the chance.

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    • Shit well what if you don't have the meat head attitude?

  • I think you're wrong buddy...girls are always going to be attracted to taller guys...not that shorter guys won't get action but girls' 'preference' will be taller...

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    • I'm also talking about thicker more muscular guys over the skinnier guys. But some guys are naturally skinny, but there's a difference between looking skinny and looking like a girl.

    • Okay, I get it....well, personally I get more action and more interest from girls when I am more muscular than when I'm skinnier....you see, I've been both skinny and muscular in my life!

  • Girls can look after themselves now, so they don't need to worry as much. Ofcourse, its done nothing for the master race.

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  • They aren't into skinny guys. I'm a skinny guy.

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  • muscle mass has jack to do with ability to provide financial security

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  • Well I'm 16 and I'm about 5ft 6, I have an average build, and girls are always flirting with me. But that might be my personality :)

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  • Cuz I guess short guys are nicer. Also because if they ever got into a fight the girl wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt by the guy.

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  • i need to go where you live then cus they're still picking all the bigger guys here :[

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    • Aw yeah sh*t I'm sorry I forgot to include those who can't really do anything about it cause its inherited, but have a pretty masculine attitude. As long as you don't act like a girl then you're set.

    • It's ok :P

      i've always been a thinner guy and I've gotten some girls in the past, but sometimes I think I'd be more appealing if I was a bit more stockier and thick bodied. besides that I'm very much a man it just bothers me sometimes because I wish I had gotten some good genes :P

    • Amen, anonymous :)

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