I'm curious to see if there is a difference of opinion related to gender.
Same scenario for guys and girls: The guy/girl is crippilingly shy and awkward. Can barely look you in the eye. You have to initiate most social interactions. Man/woman of few words. Has low self esteem. Has little to no friends. Sexually inexperienced/virgin. Can't flirt for shit. Sometimes oblivious to your flirting attempts. Sometimes avoids you because he/she is so shy. Is otherwise ideal boyfriend/girlfriend material. Would you be turned off? Turned on? Or would you feel indifferent?
i am intrigued by enigmatic people. socially awkward not so much. shy people are actually very very interesting because all shyness is is simply a wall, and if you're bothered enough finding out what it's made of you'll be surprised every time.
like u said though, some people just dont have people skills and that's a shame. i think that comes from not wanting to interact with others.
shy is cute, socially awkward is not one girl i knew had no brain to mouth filter another loved to call and hang up one girl said this super weird pickup line about me being a turkey or something all super weird turnoffs
other girls get all blushy or nervous, thats fine not to the point where you start spouting out some weird random crap but if you're just embarrassed i can be very comforting in a way no woman would ever be to a man. if they sense any amount of weakness they shine the hotlight on it and try to trip you up. there are girls out there who intentionally make things awkward for guys, or blame guys for their own deliberate social awkwardness, and i think thats stupid. i've literally said fuck you or hung up on girls who do that because if you're seriously intent on fucking with the discourse to "test" me then you don't fucking deserve to talk to me
Sometimes shyness can be cute, but I would hope if things went further they would be able to relax a bit because a one-way street relationship where you constantly have to make the conversation etc can be tiring and would get old quite fast. However, I wouldn't see any harm in trying and seeing where things went. If I liked him I wouldn't be put off immediately because he's a bit quiet and shy.
I dont mind, is hard to have a conversation at first but they usually become more comfortable after a while and it ends up being a great conversation! Shyness is not a problem and I dont think is a turn off either.
I think having some shyness and awkwardness can be cute and endearing (if I already think the guy is attractive), but if it's at an extreme and makes it difficult for him to form sentences and be himself, then it's off-putting.
I really don't care if a guy is still a virgin at this point, although it does start to become strange for both genders at a certain age. I don't mind if he doesn't have a lot of friends, either.
I don't think I'd ever end up with a guy like the one you described because I'm a bit shy myself and not an initiator. I'd probably take his quietness and lack of eye contact as disinterest.
I myself am a pretty shy person and everything you just said describes me decently well. It definitely depends on the person though. I'd personally need to know more about them as a person then just the way the appear to everyone.
Basically what @Bards wrote. I'm shy (not as shy as the person described) so I need someone who is more outgoing/social then me. Based on what you described I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone who is shyer then me. This seems like one person will practically have to carry the other throughout the relationship. To me it would come off like they weren't really interested but were to shy to tell me the truth. I've had cripplingly shy and socially awkward friends in the past and it never ended well.
Unlike the others, for me it's a total turn off. I can't even have a conversation with the guy or let him meet my family and friends. I don't want to constantly babysit the guy if it's about social interactions. A lot of people say he'll get comfortable anytime soon. The funny thing is from experience, it either takes a month or so before they can finally normal talk to you or they never get comfortable. I can't wait that long to just being able to talk to someone and ofcourse I've still got the problem with introducing to family and friends. The low self-esteem can get annoying as well too. Sure a little bit low self-esteem can be cute, but someone who's contantly insecure is just straight up annoying. So no, I wouldn't do anything with a shy/socially awkward guy since I'm a very open person and I like the guy to be open as well.
Honestly, for me personally, I'm completely turned off by shyness. I'm not a shy person myself. I used to be, though, and maybe that's why I find the opposite so attractive. Now though, when I like a guy, I tend to go after him and make it known that I like him. I like it when a guy does that as well. There is such a thing as being overly aggressive but you gotta know where to draw the line. I can usually tell if a guy likes me... and if I can tell he's being shy, I don't try to talk to him or go out of my way to make him feel more comfortable... it just doesn't make me wanna go for him.
This is allll based on what I think but Shyness and awkwardness can be such a cute quality but just in moderation. If someone seldom talk to you, but when they do talk they are pretty awkward with conversation it's a turnoff. Low self esteem wouldn't be a problem for me personally because I would never do anything to make anybody feel bad and as for number of friends, that doesn't really matter because I would be their friend! As for sexual inexperience, for me that doesn't matter either cause I don't want sex loooool judge me. I "can't flirt for shit" either. Avoiding me is a turnoff too. it's kinda half and half I'd have to know someone like this personally to decide
I've never met a crippilingly shy and awkward guy before, but "ordinarily" shy and awkward. They usually do start approaching you too if you made the first move twice or so. I'd find it cute at first, because he is likely to blush. And I'd tease him, that's something I wouldn't do with non-shy guys. I guess if he still can't look me in the eyes after my third attempt, I'll give up.
Depends. Really depends. Comes off endearing and cute with some guys, awkward and weird with others, creepy with some.. like it all depends on how you look and what kind of socially awkward behavior you have. Just don't dress like a pedophile or give off that angry defense mechanism vibe.
Every body deserves a chance. No one knows their story. Take time to get to know them and go from there. Three months you should find something out. If they can't open up by then I say leave them alone cause obsouvesly They have issues
It all depends, i am kind of like that. So, if either one of us didn't initiate something i doubt we would get anywhere xD Plus, i would probably think the guy doesn't like me and that's why he avoids me, even if he was just shy.
I'm turned off because that's just like me! I want my opposite to lead me I guess break me in haha ;)
When guys act like that I just give up because I'm tired of always saying hi first and all the mixed signals
I probably shouldn't answer this question cause I'm extremely shy and socially awkward. I'm basically the person you described in your scenario. If I met a guy like that though, it would be awesome to finally know somebody who knows what it's like to be super awkward.
When an unattractive guy is shy i get it and I'm turned of When a hot guy is shy I get confused and curious as to why they are being shy
I am shy and introverted, which can make me awkward at times. If I'm dating a guy and he also has this, I understand. It's not a turn off or on, so I'm indifferent about it. As long as he is polite, nice and respectful, then it's all good.
Makes me wanna look after him :') . If I liked him I'd kind of see it as a challenge to get him to relax around me and be more comfortable than with other people
I don't care if she's shy, but it's a turn off if a girl is socially awkward in the sense of stuttering all the time, not being able to hold eye contact, having this weird laugh when she says something... I don't care if she's shy, but as long as she can still hold a conversation and look me in the eyes.
I don't think it's a big deal if a lady is shy. In typical courtship, the guy is the one initiating conversation and meet-ups; so I wouldn't expect a lady to do either. The only potential problem is if she couldn't flirt: I wouldn't be able to tell if she was in to me; and if I can't tell that she's into me, then I conclude that she's not; and I move on.
I could be friends but to date I need someone I can connect with, confidence, etc. A person like that should go see a psychiatrist, social anxiety is a very real condition and there are some things that can mitigate the effects.
Is your scenario what social awkwardness is? My definition was waay off then man. I don't know i'd think it was cute especially if I was slowly opening them up to where we can look back and I can compare who she was when we first met and started dating to where she's all comfortable and open to me.
The girl I was seeing was completely different from each other. She was timid and awkward, and doutful, etc. It was different from the girls I've seen previously. But I thought It was still indifferent on how I felt about her because we would get along well, talk for hours about random things all the time, She's more of a introvert, and i'm more of a extroverted introvert. The only thing is, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, She thought she wasn't good enough or she thinks it's not best if we dated, so we both ended it with closure. So it could be also depend what type of girl she is, and her lifestyle.
If I knew someone had social anxiety I wouldn't be nervous to talk because they can relate to me, I have social anxiety and the whole topic you wrote is my life story. It's frustrating and people either think I'm uncool or weird so they avoid me most of the time. I actually prefer outgoing girls (shocking right!) Normally I would never do karaoke alone but if I had a girl by my side I would do it. I'm human like everyone else I have emotions and like to have fun and talk it just takes more effort but it's not impossible to be my friend/girlfriend.
Well, I've often been shy myself, so I can easily spot it in others, especially girls. I always feel bad for them, cuz I can relate and know how tough it is. I know people often perceive shyness as arrogance or snobbishness though. I've fallen victim to that. It stinks to create exactly the type of situation you're trying so hard to avoid. I feel for 'em mostly.
I don't know if shyness or social awkwardness are a turn on but I guess I'd rather have a girl who's awkward and a ill quirky over shyness. I say that because with shy girls, they either are very boring and insanely hard to talk to or you can't tell if they're shy or not interested and want you to leave them alone. That's my two cents.
I'm still shy, and I'm very proud of myself for having made such great leaps in my personality over the years. I can fully function now, and my shyness comes out in ways that appear normal to others (they have told me). I don't think I would interact well with a girl who has some type of social disorder though, I prefer to give them their safety and distance because I don't want to harm them in any way.
Turn on. I would try to help them and bring them out of their shell. If it didn't work and it went on for ages, it might wear thin. But at first, it'd be very sexy actually cos I'd feel needed more, like her hero!