Living separately temporarily for work? Can this work out?

Obviously it is possible to work through this, but is it likely?
I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years and we have two children together. Yes, we have had our ups and downs, just like any other relationship but we have always worked through these obstacles.
Now we have been in a rut for about three months now. Financially we have been somewhat unstable and as a last resort, I'm going to go stay with my friend in the city (she got me a job as a supervisor where she works). Neither me or my boyfriend like the idea because my friends apartment is small so only I can go. I will only be working four days a week however and I will be back home for the other three days.
I'm young and quite inexperienced when it comes to the "real world", even at age 22. I have yet to hit any "rock bottom" moments, thank the Lord for that. But as I sit here and think of this situation, I am starting to becomes panicked. Even though this is only a temporary fix until I save up enough money to get my family into a new home where we can be together. But generally speaking, it will probably be a month to two months before that transition is even possible. I will be making $9 an hour, 10-12 hour days. So overtime is almost guaranteed (only due to being understaffed).
I guess I am just wondering if anyone has done this or something similar to this situation. My babies are 4 and 2, so the idea of being away from them for four days out of the week is sending me for quite the little loop. And where I already have an anxiety disorder, I believe that my over thinking is probably what's causing me to panic. I leave today and start work tomorrow. I have worked here in my past so its nothing new to me. Just the idea of being away from my babies and my boyfriend is killing me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Holy crap, you have 2 kids with no stable income. Technically, you hit rock bottom and started digging. Anyway, does your boyfriend work? If he does, is there anyone else who can take care of your kids while you are away? How much will the rent be if you saved money for 2 months. Let's do the math. Let's assume you get the maximum amount of hours. An 8 hour day will give you $72 + 4 hours of overtime (assuming time and a half) gives you $54. That is $126 per day and would equate to $2016 (assuming 4 day workday) a month which is not very much money. The best case scenario is where you and your boyfriend work and a third party takes care of your kids preferably for free, aka family.

    • My boyfriend does work but where he works he is allowed to have our kids there. Its a family run business. So that helps a bunch. Its just not enough to let us save off of, unfortunately. We have more than enough money to take care of our kids. Just not enough money to allow us to get into our own home. I made a stupid mistake and allowed my mother (whom became homeless) move into our last apartment and she ended up getting us kicked out because she brought her dogs, though I told her that her dogs were not allowed. Anyways, it got us kicked out and since that point I had lost my job because I had to move an hour away. Since that point has been rough and we are definitely at our weakest right now. We have always had stable jobs and our own roof over our heads. In the state I live in, this income is more than enough to get us into our own place. On average, a 3 bedroom home in my area with everything included goes for around $950-$1,050 a month.

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    • I have been couponing since I was 18. On average, I spend maybe $230 a month on groceries. Child care is not an issue. We have family who will do it practically for free, though we pay them anyways. But it doesn't put a hole in our pockets. We are not financially broken. We have plenty of money to support our kids. We have more than enough. We just can't get our own apartment based off his income alone.
      And we are both already enrolled in college. I have to do online college and my boyfriend (where he has free college) goes to campus.

    • Sounds like a plan, good luck!

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What Girls Said 1

  • $9 an hour as a supervisor? Geez how much are they paying the people you are supervising? That isn't exactly great pay are there no jobs in the town where you live?

    I was all on board to tell you it can work and isn't a big deal, which is still true, and a job is better than no job but that isn't good pay. That's practically minimum wage. 😕

    Either way though yeah you're a parent and need to support your family so work this job but on the 3 days off stay busy looking for something better closer to home.

    • The job is only about 45 minutes from I live now but since our vehicle shit the bed, I have to stay with my friend to get rides to and from work.
      And the $9 an hour is only temporary as well. My boss wants to make sure that I am up to par with where I need to be and then he will bump me up to $10. All regular workers start off at $8 and every 3 months they get a 25 cent raise. But the state I live in is also somewhat cheap living. $950-$1,050 a month for a 3 bedroom, everything included. Based off my income of $9 an hour with 40 hrs a week, I will have around $1,200 (not including overtime). And with my boyfriends income (though its small because he works with his dad and gets shit pay) we will be able to afford a home no problem. Especially where we already have health and dental insurance and I coupon. Once I can get us into a place near the city it will be easier for both of us to work freely.

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    • Because that wouldn't be enough to cover half my expenses not including gas and groceries and I only support me.

    • Oh. My state is a very nice area. But it is very low incomed. Minimum wage here is $7.80 an hour. Although they are trying to raise minimum wage to $9. Its really not passing though because everything here is fairly cheap. Groceries (with couponing) for a month costs around $230 and lasts the entire month, sometimes more. Electricity is around $100, give or take a few bucks. But I also live in the country. There are a lot of farms and stuff so our local food is always fresh and we do our own vegetable gardening. Unfortunately when we move to the city our food will most likely end up costing us more in the long run due to us not having the resources to grow our own vegetables or go to local farm stands. But I'm sure we will be alright, where couponing saves us a lot anyways.