Can friends one day be lovers?

I'd like hear some stories/thoughts about friendships turning into something more. Have you ever been in a relationship that started out with the two of you being friends first? How did it go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh sure, happens all the time. I've done conversion twice, and I have to say, looks and sexual attraction have A LOT to do with making it happen. I only succeeded at it when I was in the best shape of my life, after I had gotten fit and gotten through my fat phase. Girls won't risk a friendship unless a guy gets her pussy wet, so the fat guys and nerdy guys don't have much of a chance to escape the friend zone.

    Both relationships went really well. We already knew and liked each other, so we had rapport and chemistry. The only difference was the addition of sex to the mix. Win-win! I was happy in both relationships and really sad when the second ended.

    The key to making it happen is having the strength of will and steadiness to navigate the conversion, because most girls will balk pretty hard at first. I learned after two failures when I was younger that the guy has to be 100% assured of his desire to be with her and project that to her with total confidence. Usually the girl will be unsure even if she knows it's right, but a strong, steady presence from the guy will reassure her and sooth many of her worries. Needy or unconfident guys can never, ever make this work.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, absolutely. We met when he was six and I was five, he got dropped off at my preschool / daycare after school. He didn't want to play anything the first day or two, we started out playing with a ball kicking it around which became our game every afternoon for a while. We soon became friends, then somewhere along the way best friends. He lived just a couple of houses down the street. So he became friends with both my brothers too, but he was always my best friend, we told each other everything, we've never had any secrets between each other.

    I kind of always had a crush on the boy at one time or other growing up, nearly from the start of our friendship. Shortly after meeting I grabbed him, stole a big sloppy kiss then told him I was going to marry him! I remember he was less than impressed, I laid claim on his heart that day with out really knowing it.

    Our love for the other just grew slowly, until one day in my freshman year I went to my Mom bawling my eyes out. I realized I loved him so much it almost hurt, I was really afraid of losing my best friend to another girl who would never understand our best friendship. My Mom just told me, "You know he loves you the same way too!" More tears!! Mom then reminded me that I couldn't date him until I turned sixteen, the rule for both my brothers and I. She told me that I could still love him without dating.

    On my sixteenth birthday he asked me to a movie and a bite to eat after, we soon shared our first romantic kiss (magical), held hands in public and soon everyone knew I was his and he was mine! Not that our friends didn't already know, I think the two of us were the last to know. Sex wasn't supposed to enter into our relationship until when and if we got married. Well once we decided we were definitely getting married, it just became too easy to just say yes instead of let's wait, (it was worth it). = }

    We were apart except for almost every weekend last year, he started university while I finished up with high school and community college graduating with my H. S. Diploma and Associates Degree just as he had done the previous year. We got married this summer on July 11th, we couldn't stand to be apart knowing we'd be married sooner or later, so we chose sooner. This year we're both working on Bachelor's Degrees, being newlyweds and happy beyond words!

    To answer your question, our relationship just grew closer to where the line blurred between best friend and lover. We ended up being both!!!

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    • Thank you for sharing that :), it's a beautiful story!

What Guys Said 39

  • Of course! In my opinion, that's the best way to start a relationship.

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  • My last girlfriend, and i were friends because she had a boyfriend when we first met,
    but i always liked her, eventually i was able to win her love and take her from her man
    but it took years of friendship and proving myself

    I helped her in geometry class, met her parents and would go to the gym with her dad, helped her grandma with shopping and played basketball with her younger brother

    When i told her my true feelings and to leave the other guy, she couldnt say no lol!
    but i did value her friendship a lot, when we broke up, i was sad to loose her friendship and her family </3

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  • Well, yes it's completely possible, why not? I have read, I have also heard a few stories where best friends, close friends eventually become lovers one day.

    NO, I have always been single nor do I have any close friends in real life, so the second part of question doesn't apply to me.

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  • Friendship is the best start for a relationship because being friends gets us closer to that person and open up everything.

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  • They can. I personally haven't, but that's how my parents started out.

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  • I think that's totally possible. Some people realize after some time that the person they've been looking for, has been right before their eyes this whole time

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  • From my own experience, that would a yes.
    We met back in 2012 at an international cultural program. we started out as acquaintances and to put it simply, we grew closer up til now. My relationship is an LDR. She lives in Australia and I live in Malaysia. We contacted via Skype and after some time we just took the step and now here we are still going strong.

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  • Nope people know within the first couple seconds if they want to fuck you. if your friends for a long time and then start dating later, It's most likely out of desperation of the person who who placed the other in the friendzone.

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  • That's how it's supposed to work out. But we've basically made that a form of incest, thanks modernization of liberalism.

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  • Of course is possible, that I think is a good idea? Definitely no, if things don't work out you loose your so and a friend

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  • Isn't that what actually happens in real life?😂

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  • Depends if the chick wants to be in the friendzone

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  • Yes, but there was a level of attractiveness from the start.

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  • Sure they can it happens more then you'd think all my girlfriends were first good friends of mine.

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  • It's pretty easy if both sides are attracted to the other person physically

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  • Yes. I mean, when you want a relationship, you're usually looking for a very good companion who is also a lover.

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  • Me and my girl Hannah were friends before we started dating 2012 3+ years on we are a very happy couple and love each other very much😍. So yep its possible.

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    • How old were you when you started?

    • I met Hannah when she was 15 we were friends we were nearly the same age except i am one year older than Hannah then there was some issues which i talk about in my take "Hannah's Story"

  • Happened with me. Friends with a nice girl for quite a while. One night, she took my virginity, stopped talking to me. :/

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    • You must of been terrible in bed.

    • @Roostah No, actually i believe it was more to do with her feelings on me, instead of how I was in bed. Because I tried talking to her after wards, she wasn't having any of it.

  • they can become enemies so why not lovers

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  • I did not know there was any other way.

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  • Yes.

    But if it breaks up, you can never go back to being friends.

    A friend of mine and I ended up together, engaged, planning the wedding, and she broke it off when she met someone else.

    She wanted to be friends, but I couldn't.

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  • It happens always eventually.

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  • Nope the friendzone is a place that can never be escaped from

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    • The girls down voted this, but honestly girls, it's true isn't it?

    • They know it is they just trying to place us but we know what's up

  • that''s the way it needs to start.

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  • Hahahahaha this is the funniest joke I've ever read tell me who you got it from

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  • they can be but its more of a rare thing in some ways

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  • Usually it happens :)

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  • only if one loses fat or goes trough puberty so that sexual attraction can be built.

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  • of course its possible

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  • Are you in a situation where you want to go to the next level with your friend?

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What Girls Said 32

  • Of course friends can one day become lovers. That's the best way to start a relationship in my opinion. You basically have all the awkward or more important questions answered before you even get together.

    I'm currently with a guy who I was also really close friends with before. Went to high school together, ran into each other at uni. Started hanging out on a daily basis, slowly developed feelings for each other and that's all it took. I don't remember the transition from friends to more being that weird. We didn't kiss or do anything romantic for a month or so but it all just happened pretty naturally. We were already pretty comfortable with each other so it's just a matter of circumstance at a certain point.

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  • My boyfriend and I were friends for about four years. We met when we were 11 at school, became close friends. He was flirty and I wasn't. So I had a crush on him for all that time but didn't say anything because I was super shy and awkward, and I had no idea whether he felt the same way because he did flirt with me - but he also flirted with basically anything that moved. Apparently he had liked me back for all that time too, but he just flirts, that's how he is. So he did have feelings for me, and he thought he was expressing them and he wasn't sure I was interested because he says it seemed like I was, but I never did anything about it. Eventually, he got in a really bad mood one night where he just didn't care what happened, and he asked me out. We've now been together for four years (well, 4 years in 6 days :) )

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  • Honestly, it truly depends: there are some friendships that are just so sibling-like or platonic that there is no possible way to become something more. However, if there has always been mutual attraction then there is a chance. A guy friend of mine made a move on me after knowing him for about two years. It didn't turn into a relationship (or really anything beyond sharing a tender moment) but it's really the only example I have.

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  • yeah definitely. i think relationships are best when they're formed from a friendship.
    my boyfriend and i were friends for a good 5 months first. we met in highschool, talked everyday, had 4 out of our 7 classes together, and a free class that we spent together in the cafeteria everyday. we both started to really like each other and then we ended up dating! it was really nice taking things slow. i'd rather do that to rush into it. i got a sense of who he was and how he did things and all that good stuff. it went really well, and it's still going really well 3 and a half years later :-) i met him 4 years ago in September.

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  • Yes, my boyfriend and I were friends for a while before things got romantic. However, I had feelings for him very early. Far before his feelings developed for me. We became best friends fast- had a lot in common, communicated well, shared everything, talked for hours and hours on end, supported and encouraged each other more than anyone else in our lives, even though we had only known each other a short time. I was always honest to him about my feelings. We were very flirty and open with each other. He was hesitant because of his age and health, but after a while, it became undeniable. Our relationship is very strong. Better than any relationship I have ever had.

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  • Sure, If you and your guy friend have been increasingly spending a lot of alone time together, and it has been more on his insistence then you should consider why that's the case.

    Good luck.

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  • I'm not sure if mine is counted. Cause I met him through an online game. We were basically strangers in a clan group. we both always chat in the group. Our friends created a group chat in fb. Everyone added each other except for me and him. We got closer and i added him on fb bc we needed to discuss something important one on one. From that one step, boom we became best friends. We found out a lot about each other. We have a lot of D&M convos. I finally confessed and he said he felt the same but we both agreed that doing ldr is hard and it'll hurt us both. Finally I met him for the first time, we had so much fun, i met his family and he took me around his home area and the city. The 2nd last day which i gotta leave to my hometown, he was like fuck it, fuck this distance shit, let's do this ldr. Boom, friends to bfgf. There are friends of mine who got into a relationship among themselves too. and it works.

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    • Not saying that EVERYONE who is friends can be lovers. Just stating the fact that there are cases like that. It also depends the person.

  • I dated my best friend when I was 17. Started good but ended really bad. He cheated on me. Got a girl pregnant. And it pretty much ruined our friendship. Over the years we've tried to get the bond that we had back. But we both realized that it was never going to be the same. So we're cordial these days, but I regret ever dating him.

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  • sure they can =] I'm sure it happens a lot :)

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  • The best relationship I've prolly had...

    Was my best guy-friend during high school..

    Then one day a couple of years later.. we just saw each other differently.

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  • Me and @Ihav2fart were friends for a long time before we became lovers. ❤ 😜

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  • Sure did, through soccer close friends and we didn't even have the proper asking out, we jsut went straight into relationship, we kinda ready knew what we both wanted so yeah, still in the relationship with him today :)

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    • It happened exactly like this, best thing that ever happened to me, she's amazing, I gotta be the luckiest bastard in the world :D <3

  • I have two friends and they were friends for a couple years until one year he finally asked her to be his girlfriend. During their friendship, he had dated other girls, so I have no clue if he ALWAYS liked her or if it just... developed.

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  • Would be the ideal scenario, wouldn't it? But most times this doesn't happen. Cause life is not that kind, period. If life were kind I'd look like either Lucy Liu or Miranda Kerr

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  • My current boyfriend was and still is my best friend.

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  • Yup. We're almost on our third week together.

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  • Yes definitely and I think it should start that way. If you're not able to be friends then how can you be lovers? That doesn't mean every guy I am friendly with I also want to be in a relationship with though. It also doesn't mean that I wouldn't take a relationship further after a one night stand but I would actually have to be able to like the person and want to do other things than gave sex with him!

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  • yeah definitely the current person I'm dating right now started off as friends and there were times that some of guy friends liked me in past so yeah :)

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  • I believe so. I think some of the best relationships start off as being friendships.

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  • I never had that happen to me

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  • That's for people who are too shy and take FOREVER to open up.

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  • Yeah it is possible, that's actually what's happening to me right now but it took 4 years tho. I don't know how it's gonna go because we just started to see each other but hopefully things will go great between us.

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  • I had a really good friend one time and we started dating. We dated for about a year but I was constantly told that relationships that start as friends never work out. I ignored them. Anyway one we started dating it got kind of awkward and then it just fell apart. That's my story.

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  • Yes. Happened to me and mine. Moved out ta state and recently found him. He wants me to move back to California. I still love him so definite YES!!

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  • What Do you reckon?
    Im in love with my best guyfriend.. <3

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  • Yeah.. We are in a relationship now :)

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  • No!! Never ever ever ever ever ever ever!!!

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  • It can happen. But if the relationship falls apart, so does the friendship according to my own experience.

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  • Yes. but not all lovers can be friends

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  • Yes I have! It didn't work out but that had nothing to do with the friend part. We just had other differences

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