Need advice from confident, attractive women?

Hi, need expert help from women who can help me understand this beautiful woman I'm dating better. This is my first question so don’t disappoint! I apologize in advance about the question being long as I feel like I need to tell you the whole story thus far. I met this girl a month or so ago at an airport. We got along really well during that initial conversation. By the time I even asked her for her number, she had already asked me out for drinks for the coming Thursday. When I didn't email or call before the date, she added me on Facebook and emailed me to make sure I went. The drinks date went well, nothing physical. I also found out that she recently came out of a serious relationship recently. After that we exchanged a few emails (became daily one email exchange) for a period of two weeks during which we went on a few more dates. I surprised with some hard to get show tickets, which she loved and dinner after that. Again I tried to get some touchy feely response but I didn’t get anything back from her. On each date, we both thoroughly enjoyed each others' company and I kept getting emails about how much she enjoyed the night out. The last date we went on was to a movie and dinner afterwards. Again, from my point of view it went great. I finally got some physical feedback from her towards the end of the date where she put her head on my shoulder. I held for a bit which she didn’t resist and then kissed her. I got a nice smile from her. I put her in a cab shortly after that and she said “let’s chat on email tomorrow.” Since that point she has been acting strangely. She canceled on a tennis date we setup before I kissed her that night. Now I when I send her an email I get responses after three-four days. I tried to setup another date in the last email and she just brushed that aside and spoke about everything else. She sent me her last email before she went away this long weekend (took time off) with her sister. She asked me about my new year’s eve etc, spoke about being busy dealing with her best friend who broke up with her fiance and said “I will talk to you when I’m back.” I do have enough dating experience to know that she is playing some sort of game. Usually I would back off and wouldn’t bother contacting her again. The problem I’m having here is that she is such a cool girl that I really want to pursue her as I have never done before, putting my ego aside. She always replies but never makes any plans and it always me, that’s another thing that bothers me. Every guy I spoke to told me to ignore her but I worry I will lose her because she is after all a beautiful girl. OK you beautiful, smart women out there what do you say? Please help me understand what really is going through her mind? What are my next steps? Do I email/call or let her go. Thank you so much in advance!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that she really likes you and that's what she is scared of. You know? She just got out of a relationship and was thinking she would have a great friend. Now she sees that you are more than a friend and tries to run. I'm thinking that she needs to get her things straight and you need to talk to her about your kiss and tell her that you can wait for anything serious. I know that if I just got out of something like that I would be in her same situation. She wants something to hold onto but doesn't want the chances.

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    • Thank you so much for your answer, Sarah. What is my next move her? Should I email her or call her or give her space and wait for her to initiate contact as she was away this past weekend on vacation.

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    • Thank you so much, Sarah..you are a life saver. I just got a general email from my girl today with no mention of meeting up so I'm just going to reply tomorrow generally also without asking her out. Hopefully this is what you mean, keeping in contact but not rush into asking her out all the time.

    • That is right I think you are doing the best thing to do as of now. Good luck and no problem for the help.

What Girls Said 2

  • It's one of two things ... Either she is really confused due to the fact that she recently came out of a serious relationship and may not want to get hurt or into another serious relationship without taking a breather. Or, after the kiss, she found out she's just not that into you. I am a firm believer that the first kiss tells more about someone than spending every day with them. That first kiss tells me what you want, how you see me, how you see yourself, how far you really want this date/relationship to go. No one, male or female, can hide the type of passion that comes through your first kiss. Kissing is probably the most intimate act anyone can do, and either it scared the hell out of her, or she didn't feel the same and is kindly backing off.

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    • Thank you for taking the time to answer. Well just to clarify the kiss happened in a hurry as the cab arrived (bad timing). You could be right, she may have realized something from the kiss but then why would she keeping emailing me? At least from my point of view the kiss accelerated things, if what you say is true at least I didn't date her for months to find this out?

  • She obviously is not ready to enter anything serious and is busy with other things. You may not have met her criteria..or maybe she does like you, but is also seeing other guys and then make her choice. Attractive and confident women can drive you crazy and likes to feel they are really in control of everything. Instead of trying to hard in impressing her..just be your self and enjoy conversations with her, let destiny take its course. I suppose you are a handsome guy yourself and would have allot to offer a relationship. You need to think deep and be honest about yourself..Would you want someone in your life that you would be chasing every day? Or some one who has the same mutual feeling for you as you do for her? It may feel like it takes for ever to find someone like the one your dating right now...just be patient and do not rush course because if you love her you will be willing to wait. But if you love your self more then maybe it is not worth the chasing...

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    • Thanks for your honest answer, whiteglove. I should maybe give myself time to think this through rather than reacting on impulse.

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