Am I too judgmental for only liking intelligent guys?

I was told that I'm too judgmental because I'm only attracted to intelligent guys and that it's stupid. My question: is it really judgemental?
I can't date a guy who can't keep a conversation going or stimulate my mind every now and then. I love guys who are creative, artistic, ambitious and smart. I like a guy with an interesting mind which I'm finding is it's harder to find. If that makes me judgmental or picky I'm not sure I want to be any different.

Updates:
Let me put it this way. If I had the choice to either date an intelligent man or maybe someone not so bright I'm going to go for intelligence because there's a part of me that just can't bring myself to be physically or mentally attracted! I don't want to lead anyone one if I'm going to be unhappy very quickly. To me intelligence isn't just book smart it's someone with their own views, concerns and ideas about the world, someone who is able to open their mind to the world and thrive off of it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm into intelligent guys too but just keep in mind that they're usually condescending and cold. They're not that affectionate, and even if you think you aren't a cuddly person, a relationship brings it out of everyone. I'm SO emotional and affectionate, so me and my boyfriend clash a lot. I put up with it because he's perfect in every sense. That's really his only flaw so if that's all I have to put up with, fine.

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What Guys Said 27

  • That's not a bad thing.

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  • I don't think it's a bad thing. I feel the same way. I want a girl who I can have flowing conversations with, someone who really interests and inspires me and pushes me to keep chasing my dreams and be more interesting myself. I wouldn't want to be with a girl who doesn't inspire me, who just makes me feel like giving up on life and just drinking or something like that.

    So yeah, I totally get where you're coming from.

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  • To be honest, I can't see how someone can know this about someone without giving them enough time together to experience both sides of each ones personality, so to judge would be wrong. Is your personality judgemental? possibly, maybe your just picky on who you choose to date, but if you date them first, then your just picky, if you choose not to date them, then your judgmental, x

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    • I don't date a lot not because I'm picky only because I'm not thrilled with casual dating. The only time I do we're usually already good friends. I'm not normally a judgmental person I treat everyone the same and give people a good shot just not when it comes to dating

    • I think that's a fair and reasonable response, and as you explained a little more concerning your situation, I don't think you need to be concerned on how others see you, because you seem to at least be genuine. I replied in the manner that I like red heads but would never single them out and not date blondes or brunettes, but I understand your post a little more now and would say, your just someone who knows what she wants, and if that worthy guy has to be what you want before you give him a shot, then so be it. x

  • Hmm i think it depends on how narrowly you define intelligence. I think book smarts should count for something...

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  • People naturally seek their intellectual equals for romantic partners. It's not judgmental in the sense that you are putting yourself above others. You are simply looking for a good companion, someone you can converse with easily, someone who shares your values and at least some of your interests. Discrimination is not a concept that applies to dating. You have no obligation to date anyone that does not interest you.

    Avoid making assumptions about people based on their profession or education. If you do you will miss knowing many interesting people.

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  • Your not judgmental you have a preference of men who you like to date.

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  • Preference is preference and needs no defending or explanation. As long as you don't go around criticizing others, then you are not judging them badly.

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  • No, i only like intelligent girls. Dumb people are hard to tolerate, especially if your dating them

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    • Ironic how you can't distinguish "your" and "you're", and yet talk about dumb people.

    • @NeedleInTheHay I posted a comment correcting myself, I don't know why it didn't show. *you're. There, happy?

  • I feel bad for whoever told you that.
    You can date only attractive people, if you want to, or only tall people, or only lawyers, or only Jews, or only guys with monster cocks, or only anarchists, it's entirely up to you. You just have to live with the restrictions that decision entails, both in finding a relationship, and in the relationship.
    Your world, your oyster, forget your friend's opinions

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  • I don't think so, and your preferences are prone to change over time so its fine.

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  • yeah, why don't you give usdummies a chance? 😢

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  • I wanna find a girl with your mindset

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  • You like what you like, not your fault.

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  • Hmmm... I don't think it is being to judgmental. We simply like what we like, denying that is not being our self. If you like intelligent guys because they stimulate your mind then so be it. It is just one of your criteria!

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  • No, I prefer that in girls as well and I've hear the mind is the most erogenous part of a girl/women. Maybe a man too. I've also come to discover that there are different types of intelligence. I'm sure everyone has their area of expertise but expressing your intelligence is another story entirely.

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  • I think you're fine. People are just wired differently.

    For instance, if the gal is hot and "no sharper than a door knob", I'm moving on.

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  • Well, we are a bit judgmental when it comes to choosing a significant other, yes? Or we should be to a degree. Or should we just go with whoever comes along indiscriminately?

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  • I only care if a girl likes me and has a clean heart. Intelligence is arbitrary. Each humans uses intelligence in a different manner.

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  • No, you know what you want.

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  • It depends how intelligent. v

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  • Judgmental? I am a physicist and single. Be my girlfriend!

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  • No that is normal

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  • No it is not. You can be attracted to whatever you want/feel. The person that told you that is the one who is judgmental :) Not you

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  • I feel the same way. I'm above average in terms of intelligence and can't really talk to people, at least not for long periods of time, about just general everyday things. I like talking philosophy, science and poetry with people. I don't think it's at all stupid of you to look for someone who can match your intellectual prowess. If someone can't intrigue you mentally, there's a decent chance you'll quickly get tired or even annoyed by them.

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  • I love smart women. It's true because of the conversation. When I get to know a woman and the she is not so bright it is usually a turn off. I'm glad you think that way.

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  • I know managers, who don't have college degrees, they're assistant managers, but, managers nonetheless

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    • by the way, I've learned that if you have "different" views from the popular one, you get hated on, so, for example if I believed something you didn't, why should we talk about that? It only creates problems

  • Hey, you like what you like. Don't settle.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Once you're not judging someone by how they look and assuming they're smart or dumb then it's not judgmental. You are just attracted to a certain mind and that's ok. Some girls only like funny guys some like broody silent types. Don't be sorry for being passionate about loving the challenging and intellectual types

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  • That comment may pertain to how you weed out people and deem who the intelligent ones are and not exactly your exclusive attraction to them.

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  • I will NOT date a moron!!! They gotta be able to keep up with me on an intellectual level or forget about it... judgmental? Maybe, I don't know

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  • Maybe your interest/preference to a guy it's simply like smart but it doesn't seem you'd been judging those guys your not interested with. 😇

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  • not a bad thing... its just your preference

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  • Why would anyone want to date a dumb person?

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  • nope. not wrong at all! I like intellegent guys. My current boyfriend is intellegent. :) and yes @05candyman dumb people ARE hard to tolerate. would slap the dumbness outta his face.

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  • It's your preference, it's not a bad thing :)

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  • Oh hell no girl. There is nothing wrong with that at all! Why would anyone willingly WANT to date a dumb person? Unless they themselves are dumb... soo anyways yep its just your preference, nobody wants to spend the rest of their life with an idiot.

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  • no certainly not, you are free to be attracted to whoever you like!

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