I have a big issue. There's two girls that I've known and go to school with for a year. I have issues with deciding who I want to be with. One girl, who I've known for a bit longer than the other who I'm very attracted to and get along with very well decided to just be friends at first and I was fine with it. I still like her and I believe she likes me but I feel she's protecting herself by not saying it but her actions show it. She gets jealous when I talk to other girls and asks me about the other girl who I also talk to. She says she loves Me but I think on a friend level. The other girl is average looking in my opinion but she has a great personality and she really cares for me. We're having sex unlike me and the first girl. Anyways, she gets super jealous and her friends are telling her stuff which gets her even more jealous. So yesterday I decided to stop the sex with the 2nd girl and I told her that I didn't think it was going to workout because I don't see a future with her. she cried and the next day I feel bad because something says to keep the 2nd girl who tells me she has feelings for me and forget about the first girl who sends mixed signals. what should I do?
Most Helpful Girl
tough situation you have!
If you dont have a steady relationship with either one, i would try out #1.
However the fact you have been sexing #2 says to me either you do like her OR are just using her as a place holder until "smething better comes along".
I have been girl #2 so many times and I tell you it really hurts like hell when a guy does what you are doing.
I would go with the average #2 girl. Girls with great looks often are shallow bitches that take a guy for granted.0
Most Helpful Guy
I think that you should understand that in matters of love and attraction, it is highly possible that you are going to wind up breaking someone's heart depending on what you ultimately decide to do. But that's fine, because who you like and who you want to be with are, at the end of the day, YOUR CHOICE.
No one else's.
Seriously, if you start trying to puzzle your way out of this problem without understanding what YOU want out of it, then you will likely make yourself a laughing stock, in addition to pissing off both women. The question is: Who do you want to be with?
Lastly, sex changes things in a relationship, highlighting all that is good AND bad within the relationship. If you didn't have a firm foundation to start with, sex only adds to the problem.
@Anonymous , I think you need to get yourself sorted out before you can honestly pursue a relationship with either of these women. Your opinion matters, which is why both women are acting the way they are -- they are trying to make sense of your mixed signals, or lack of signals entirely. Be honest with yourself and either pick one or drop them both and walk away, because what you've been doing so far isn't helping. And once you've decided on a course of action, you need to tell them as honestly and bluntly as possible, keeping their potential for hurt feelings as far from your mind as possible.
Because that is the root of the problem, your concern for their feelings, which is admirable if frustrating (for them). There are winners and there are losers in love, and while it may seem selfish, this is the only way to find this sort of happiness. Someone has to gain, another has to lose, its that simple.1