I am coming out of my 1st relationship, I put my all in the guy and he ended up breaking my heart by taking me completely for granted. I am the loving/nurturing type and I cannot just turn that off or tone that down. When I 1st started dating my boyfriend my mom told me not to spoil him so much (I prob shouldn't have). I feel if a guy is genuine and I do spoil him he won't take me for granted, he will treasure and appreciate me. How can I spoil a guy and get the same kind of care back?
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Thats a tough one! ... mind you, lets assume (GaSp) the guy isn't a douche or immature as well.
I think the first huge thing is communication with him about the subject, sit down with him and talk with him about it, or if you find that difficult you can write him, yep! Hehe. My girlfriend (at the time) did that a few times on subjects she thought would be difficult or overly emotional and not sure if she could say clearly what she was thinking. Its a different approach but it worked for us at the time.
She is more nurturing/caring in different ways thanI am... She buys me little gifts or gives me surprises. I get cards, she wants to take me places, etc. I, on the other hand, pay more direct attention to her... I lead with intimacy, wether its touching or cuddling, kissing or sex. She doesn't have to worry about me not paying attention to her.
... on the other hand Im horrible, I couldnt tell you when our first date was or what movie we went to see, I remember her birthday but I could care less about valentines day or anything like that.
Were total opposites but somehow we work well together... She wants to go to town and do this and that, I'd rather curl up with her on the sofa and read books all day! I want to eat at home, she wants to eat out. You get the point. The thing is we understand this about each other and sort of take turns I guess.
... as far as spoiling him... hmm.. I guess that depends on what you mean exactly... but I would say dont be doing anything at a level today that you honestly can't say you will be doing ten years from now. ("You used to do x for me, why dont you do that anymore?") ... and tell the guy what you like/want. To me though, honestly, this kind of stuff is something you should talk about and hash out up front when you start seeing someone, something I've always done. When I met my wife, as an example, I told her that sex shouldn't be used as a tool, its not a reward or a punishment in a relationship, and if she was one of those that use it like that then we need to just move on seperately from here.
... well, not sure if this was useful, lol, but there it is! ;)1