What do I do if I have strong feelings for two VERY different men?

The first man, Brandon, he has been hurt, as badly as I have. I have known him for quite some time and we know a lot about each other. I want to protect him and be there for him and I care about him, a lot. The second man, Cliff, he's very innocent although he isn't at all. He has helped me with my heart break of my ex and although I am slowly getting over him, there's a piece of me that my ex still holds. Cliff is slowly regaining all of my heart, even the piece my ex has sucha tight hold of, although I know he doesn't want it. Cliff makes me feel calm, comforted. The picture always makes me think of him because he makes me happy and he makes me happy about myself. The way he makes me feel is the way my ex made me feel, but better because Cliff doesn't lie to me, not once, and I don't have any doubts about my feelings like I did with my ex.
What do I do if I have strong feelings for two VERY different men?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Cliff sounds like the better choice since this Brandon guy seems like someone whom you'd have to 'maintain'. As in if you only like him because of this one past experience you have in common... that's not much to work on. Especially if at some point you're going to move on from that past experience and thus you'll two won't have anything to relate to each other.

    • Brandon makes me feel as if I can move on past it and he helps me get through the thoughts in my head, plus I have next to no self esteem and they both do a pretty good job of making me feel wanted and even kinda pretty.

    • Well as the saying goes - if you really liked the first guy, you wouldn't have fallen for the other guy.

    • I know, Im not even sure if its love or infatuation

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you like Cliff more since you spent time writing about him more. We might have experienced one event with many people. It doesn't automatically makes us like them. So I think you are confusing love with something else. Plus as ThisDudeHere said you will soon move on and find nothing in common with Brandon.

    • Interesing cause I do love Brandon, but at this point i don't know if it is like romantic kind or platonic cause I would love to marry Brandon, as he and I have talked about and I honestly didn't try to write so much more about Cliff, it just happened.

    • Exactly. Sometimes love just happens. You don't need to spend time trying to love.

      Well, people your age confuse "love" with "like." Heck, even people older than you confuse the two. I say give it a time for you to understand your feelings. Try to think of a scenario or distance yourself from both of them and see which one you're yearning for more. Which one you can't live without. Now, forget about your ex because it seems your feelings for him is the common reason you are getting close to those two guys because they are responding to your problem. Start thinking of and only of which one you would choose if you met them before you met your ex.

    • that's a good what to approach it

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why not sample both? You're young so commitment is not an issue... Although you made it sound like you love Cliff and Brandon is just there because you are emotionally but not romantically attached.

    • I couldn't do that cause people aren't meant to be 'sampled' and I have known them both for at least a year, longer for Brandon. Im not gonna date someone unless I know for sure I am emotionally commited 100%

    • Separation might work step back and think clear your head

  • Do they both know you have strong feelings for them? That might become an issue, you might have to eventually choose or go to a country that lets you marry two men. Granted of course, you all agree.

    • they know my feelings for them but they don't know about each other

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