How do I stop being bashful around the girls I am attracted to?

What has worked for you?
And girls do you hate it when a guy is this way?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually when I like a girl I go up to her and say so. If she doesn't beat me in the head with her bag in the first 6 seconds, I have no more true worries.

    But really, understand that this woman is more than the things you find attractive in her.

    I get over fear by understanding that I have to connect with this person's brain before I can worry about hanging out or holding hands. I remove gender and the body and all the things I like about the person that will trip me up, and I go for the things that I can build a conversation out of. This helps me talk to someone easier.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bring your presence of mind to bear on the situation.

    Being bashful is unlikely to produce the results you want. Everybody's a little bit nervous and self-conscious around people in whom they have some romantic interest. That's okay and normal. (It would be a red flag if you WEREN'T nervous and shy to some extent.) So keep your eyes on the prize.

    Be cool and laid back. You're a nice looking guy who cares about shit and is working toward a good career in public service. This is attractive to girls who are worthwhile.

    Being aware of what you have going for you--and understanding before you even get started that if that particular girl doesn't work out, there are unlimited other girls available--gives you the ability to take things easy and not be worried or uptight.

    Finally, if it helps, you can always fake it till you make it. Pretend to be laid back and cool and you WILL be laid back and cool. And once you've practiced it--even if you feel like it's an act--then it will be easier to do for real.

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    • I did the fake it till i make it with the last... it got me far for 3 years in my last relationship... but honestly I have stopped looking because I feel like finding a good girl is really damn difficult. Like one that isn't self centered, I was thinking about a religious girl because of moralities they have... since I grew up in a religious house hold. Now I am atheist... which as I have learned sometimes people get irritated because they want to convert me or whatever.

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    • Thats a great quote I will have to remember that one when I am feelin' lonely. Thanks man:)

    • Hey, thanks again. Hope things are going well for you.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't be bashful in general. That helps.

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    • How must I do this?

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    • I am bored out of my mind... thats the first thought that goes through my head, but I still don't know how to control the bashfulness since killing feelings doesn't really work too well.

    • Bashfulness is a symptom not the cause, you need to eliminate the cause :P

      Which apparently is your "boredom"

      Which is also a reaction (symptom) and not a cause

      So you need to eliminate the cause of your boredom

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