How many dates does it usually take you to know how you feel about a person?

I recently had a date with a new guy. He was crazy about me by the end of the date and said he's never felt that comfortable or relaxed around someone like that on a first date and didn't want to date anyone else for a while. Our date lasted 4 1/2 hours. I could tell I liked him too, but all I can tell on the first couple dates is whether or not I like a person, but not really to what degree or how far I want things to go in terms of a relationship. It usually takes me a little longer to really develop feelings for someone. I don't know how many more dates I should have with this guy before deciding what I want, because I don't want to hurt him or let him get more attached.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • At what point did you decide you want eventually sleep with him? It depends on the person to decide; it might take several weeks of hanging out with the person. How well do you really know someone from 4.5 hours? You don't, but in the game of "love" you must take risks.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly don't think there's a certain amount of dates that it takes to know how you feel about someone. It just depends on the person and how much you have talked to them before dating. Sometimes all it takes is one date to know you like this person and want to see where it goes. Other times, it may take two or three dates to figure out how much you "click" with someone.

    For me personally, I don't really "date" anyway. But, if I'm talking to a guy, I usually have a pretty good idea of how well we get along and how much I like him before I agree to go on a date with him. For your situation, if after a couple of more dates you don't feel anything or have a desire to develop a relationship with him, then that's probably a sign that he isn't the right person for you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I usually like to get to know someone a bit as a friend before I go on dates w/ them. I'm not really interested or comfortable with blind dates or dates with people who are mostly strangers. That's one reason I don't do online dating. Some people I've met I've clicked with from the start, while some have grown on me. It really depends on their personality and our comfort level w/ each other.

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What Girls Said 4

  • If I liked him back, I'd be really happy to hear that he had a great time with me, but I'd feel uncomfortable with him already committing and telling me he doesn't want to date anyone else. He sounds clingy.

    I like when guys play it cool and are a little more realistic about the situation -- yes, you can have an awesome first date, but no -- you can't already know someone is "the one" before going on at least a few dates and really getting to know each other.

    If you otherwise had a good time and want to see him again (even though you may be wary about his clinginess), then I'd be upfront and tell him it worries you that his feelings for you are already so strong. He may tone it down!

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    • I've tried, and he's apologized. It still feels a little clingy, though. I think it could be due to cultural differences, which is why I'm trying to be understanding.

  • It sounds like you may have your answer. The way it works for me if a first date goes well, I can't wait to see him Again and so on for each date after. If It doesn't feel that way, maybe you should slow down, pull back or opt out.

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  • This rings alarm bells for me. He could be really into you but why show all gis cards at once?

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    • I hear you and agree, but I think it could be due to his cultural background. He is Indian, and typically people there don't "date" around unless it's with someone they might marry. That's why I'm trying to take it as a compliment and not make a huge deal out of it unless it really becomes a problem.

  • i don't think it's the number of dates that matter but the intensity in which you can build up an emotional connection. that varies.

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