Was I selfish for leaving, I was not his priority?

I was so happy w/my 1st until I figured I was no longer a priority in his overall life. He told me that I was a very nice difference from the girls he has dated before, that I truly cared for him. That made me feel so happy. Over the months though I started feeling like I was falling lower on his list. He wanted to marry me, something we both talked about, yet made no effort to move forward in life to be able to take that step. I currently am looking for a better job and trying to continue my education. He had no goals/interests/aspirations for life in general. We used to spend tons of time together, this didn't bother us as we never got tired of each other. I noticed he started going to the bar more often by himself, without me, when I would be w/him he wouldn't feel like going anywhere w/me. It got to a point where on his days off he would rather spend the day at home alone playing games/vegetating instead of going somewhere w/me or even spending time w/me. He got extremely upset when I brought up that I felt taken for granted, I was always there for him, going out of my way, while he took the lazy way out not going out of his way for me at all. He had no money to be able to marry me, but was able to go out to the bar once a week (that gets expensive!) and spend money on frivoulous pointless things. He said he would want to buy me a ring, but he wasn't even saving money for it. When I would bring up feelings of being hurt, they were dismissed as me overanalyzing or being too sensitive. I ended the relationship because I want someone to care about me as much as I care about them. When I love, I love with all my heart and I don't hold back. What do you think?

After I broke up he spilled his heart to me telling how he would take care of me and support me (he couldn't do tiny things for me because he felt too "lazy"). Other times he would message me and tell me I broke his heart. His last message said he missed me a lot and wishes the situation had been different.


Most Helpful Guy

  • A man with no aspirations is a man who is going nowhere. I don't blame you for moving on. You're biological clock is ticking, and he was just wasting your time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't sound selfish at all! It sounds like you did the right thing by breaking up with him. You should definitely be a priority for the man you're with. If you're not a priority and he doesn't make any effort at all then why continue dating? If you know that you want to be married and have all of these goals and dreams for your life that he wasn't living up to then it's understandable that you would end the relationship.

    You told him how you felt and he dismissed your feelings, that's not okay. You deserve to be with someone who really does love and care about you as much as you love and care about them. Relationships should never be one-sided. So, judging only by the information you gave here, I support your decision 100%.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he stopped spending time with you, well, then you weren't really his priority and you weren't selfish.


What Girls Said 0

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