My boyfriend seems kind of selfish?

So I work 12-14 hours days 6 days a week. I am out the door by 3am and sometimes don't get home until 3:30-6pm. My boyfriend works (sometimes) 3 days a week, if that. 5 hour work days max and his work day doesn't start till noon. When I get home dinner is never prepared, so I end up making dinner every night when he sits around and plays Call of Duty or NBA. We have 2 kids as well. On my one day off I want to sleep in. After all, I barely get any sleep any other day because he wants me to stay up with him till 11-11:30 every night when he knows I have to leave at 3am. Our kids wake up at 6:30 and on my day off he will wake me up and have me get up with the kids. And then, even while he sleeps in till sometimes 1-2 in the afternoon, he will still take naps during the day. When I bring up my lack of sleep he will brush it off and say things like "Yeah, I'm tired too. Its life." Or "You got 3 extra hours of sleep than normal so I don't know why you're complaining." Or "I wake up with the kids every morning. You can do it on your day off." Which, yes I understand that but I work so much more than he does and get a drastic amount of less sleep than him.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is he raising the children then? Because I go to work for a break and I'm raising mine. Work is work being at home with your family is real work. Put your foot down tell him he has 2 choices start keeping house raising the kids and cooking the meals or go to work full time so you can do it. And stop whinging about lack of sleep he's probably up more than you think. Guess what no parent sleeps properly!!

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    • No, he brings the kids to day care at 8am and then goes home. I pick the kids up from day care at 5 on my way home from work. He works noon to either 3-4 (sometimes 5) on the 2-3 days a week that he works. He doesn't do any house work but the only thing that bugs me is dinner. Considering me and the kids are gone 90% of the time there's not much house work to do. The lack of sleep isn't because of my babies. Its because I have to work all hours to pay rent and utilities plus food and everyday needs. All his money goes toward his gas and new gaming systems.

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    • I'm going to recommend a book to you because I became incredibly overwhelmed at one point. Maybe if I had read it beforehand things would have been different but please try get it. It's called why men love bitches. The term bitch is meant in a different way. Every question you have can be answered in it. It's a real confidence giver too. And my heart goes out to you missing out on your children growing up. I know you don't have much time but maybe read a few chapters on your lunch and see how you find it.

    • I will do that. Thank you for your words!

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What Girls Said 1

  • He is a dick.

    I completely sympathise. I worked 10 hours 6 days a week for 2 years but I was also in education, so a further 4 hours at home. I did the dinner every night because it calms me to cook. My boyfriend would let me sleep in on my one day off and he wouldn't expect me to lift a finger. Even now I'm only working 1 day a week, he wants me to have time off. During these years I was put on anti-depressants and have a chronic cough, so he prefers me to take it easy.

    Your boyfriend needs to buck the hell up and realise he is a grow man and a parent, and not mummys little teenage boy. Stop making him dinner. Stop accommodating him. Start keeping more money back so he feels the strain of financial pressure and force him to work more. He needs to earn his keep.

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