I am a 25 year old. I have never had a girlfriend, sex, kissed a girl, or done anything romantic. I am average looking, though a little chubby, honest, nice, have a good career, non drinker, non smoker, non drug user. I guess women in general just found me too nice or shy, and I have approach anxiety with women. I'll be the first to admit I can be a little shy and socially awkward. My approach anxiety is terrible. The very thought of approaching a woman I like and asking her out makes me feel physically sick. I have no problem talking to women normally, just ones I find attractive or am romantically interested in.
It's an embarrassing thing to have to deal with and there are times where I felt defective or that there was something wrong with me. Not too long ago I held a gun to my head and cocked the trigger. I was thinking I am not good enough for any women, nobody wants to be with me so what is the point to life anymore. I then realized that there are a lot of people that care about me that would be really hurt. I never have shared this with my family or close friends as I don’t know how they would have reacted and I don’t want to hurt them.
Am I a loser?
Most Helpful Girl
Well, if you are too shy and not approachable, it makes it difficult to see how great you are. I know it can be tough, but you sometimes have to break out of your shell and try harder to get what you want. I am a shy girl with anxiety issues, so I know... but if I like someone, I don't wait or pine after him. I just take a deep breath and ask him out. If he says no, it's no problem. I just try again. And again, etc. etc. until a guy says yes.2
Most Helpful Guy
There are tons of guys in your position, number one.
Number two, you will not get a girl if you keep experiencing that anxiety and fear, so you've got to find a strategy to get around it. Imagine for a while what you would do and how you would act if you were a thoughtful, caring, secure guy who didn't experience fear about interacting with girls. What would that be like? What would YOU be like? Once you've thought about it, try it. Try acting like that. Be that version of yourself. And fake it, a bit, until you're able to inhabit that more secure, less fearful version of yourself on a more permanent basis. Most people never realize that we CAN choose to be who we want to be. Most people never choose, and just let their programming, habits and history run their lives from birth till death.
Remember, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Do what you need to do to stop standing in the way of your own success and happiness. Man up, my friend. You owe it to yourself. Good luck. :)2