25 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend?

I am a 25 year old. I have never had a girlfriend, sex, kissed a girl, or done anything romantic. I am average looking, though a little chubby, honest, nice, have a good career, non drinker, non smoker, non drug user. I guess women in general just found me too nice or shy, and I have approach anxiety with women. I'll be the first to admit I can be a little shy and socially awkward. My approach anxiety is terrible. The very thought of approaching a woman I like and asking her out makes me feel physically sick. I have no problem talking to women normally, just ones I find attractive or am romantically interested in.

It's an embarrassing thing to have to deal with and there are times where I felt defective or that there was something wrong with me. Not too long ago I held a gun to my head and cocked the trigger. I was thinking I am not good enough for any women, nobody wants to be with me so what is the point to life anymore. I then realized that there are a lot of people that care about me that would be really hurt. I never have shared this with my family or close friends as I don’t know how they would have reacted and I don’t want to hurt them.

Am I a loser?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, if you are too shy and not approachable, it makes it difficult to see how great you are. I know it can be tough, but you sometimes have to break out of your shell and try harder to get what you want. I am a shy girl with anxiety issues, so I know... but if I like someone, I don't wait or pine after him. I just take a deep breath and ask him out. If he says no, it's no problem. I just try again. And again, etc. etc. until a guy says yes.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are tons of guys in your position, number one.

    Number two, you will not get a girl if you keep experiencing that anxiety and fear, so you've got to find a strategy to get around it. Imagine for a while what you would do and how you would act if you were a thoughtful, caring, secure guy who didn't experience fear about interacting with girls. What would that be like? What would YOU be like? Once you've thought about it, try it. Try acting like that. Be that version of yourself. And fake it, a bit, until you're able to inhabit that more secure, less fearful version of yourself on a more permanent basis. Most people never realize that we CAN choose to be who we want to be. Most people never choose, and just let their programming, habits and history run their lives from birth till death.

    Remember, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Do what you need to do to stop standing in the way of your own success and happiness. Man up, my friend. You owe it to yourself. Good luck. :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're not a loser, you just have to not take life so seriously. If you can do this, all of your problems will seem like nothing and even go away eventually.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I've always been really shy. I've had girls actually tell me they had a crush on me and still wasn't able to ask them out. I would suggest maybe asking cute girls for there number in places where you don't visit often that way if they say no then you'll never see them again but if she says yes then bam you have her number. At least you'll learn how to talk to attractive girls. Also be realistic when doing this don't ask the supermodel looking chick with a huge tits and a perfect ass. not saying ask put Frankenstein's monster just be realistic.

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  • nah dude, you are not a loser, although, you should feel better about yourself
    you sound like a guy who has it figured out, the missing piece is the girl

    have you tried online dating or asking your friends for help? maybe your friends can set you up with someone, be honest with a friend you trust though

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  • No, you just care way too much to be accepted by them. You should be the one accepting them if you have a good career.

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  • Dude I'm the same way I'm even so ugly I got the nickname caveman which is why I changed my profile pic to one

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  • You are in no way a loser. I went through this myself until 2 years ago, now I can say that I've found my dream girl and I won't be lying.

    Let me give you some advice.

    First you need to build your self-esteem- find a hobby or a sport you're interested in, one where you have to interact with other people face to face (try meetup. com and search your interests) and socialize. Get good at what you're doing and, believe me, you'll feel your self worth go up. The goal is not to meet women, but get out, make new friends and be a part of something

    I for one played guitar since I was 12 but never took lessons until later, I took some lessons, found other guitarists and musicians to jam with and VOILA! I was in a band, playing shows on a weekly/bi-weekly basis and random people would come up to me after the shows and compliment me on my playing, so I had to talk to them. Eventually I became more and more sociable.

    I was also chubby at one point in my life, tipping the scales at nearly 300 lbs at one point, until I started seeing the results of my poor diet- Type 2 Diabetes. Believe me, you don't want diabetes.

    I forced myself to change my diet- cut sodas down to 2/3 a day, eliminated sugary sweets all together and replaced them with fresh produce and V8 drinks.

    I also got off my @$$, started going for 2 mile walks everyday and learned how to do body weight exercises. Now I'm at 185 lbs and 12% body fat with a pretty good six pack. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't force myself to do all of this, it took a lot for me to change my lifestyle.

    And as far as not approaching girls, I learned it myself that a man needs to be the initiator. Go get a copy of "The Natural" by Richard La Ruina, it's a very good book, it's not a PUA book but a book on how to socialize with women.

    You will need to get out and force yourself to talk to women you like, it will be tough at first, you will get many rejections, harsh rejections, but when it happens remember that the girl of your dreams will not fall into your lap out of thin air. You need to get off your arse and go find her.

    Sometimes, all it takes is a "Hello", if she's receptive, then you can chat her up, find common ground, make her feel comfortable with you then you can ask for her number and set up a date.

    I hope all that helps.

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  • ya times like this i hate being born male because i'm expected to be the initiator

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  • Get a prostitute...

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