Is there a nice way to let a guy down?

This friend of a friend that I've only met once has been messaging me for a few weeks now, I thought it was a bit weird but just sort of went with it. Now he wants to hang out sometime but I'm not too keen, is there a nice way to let him down? I mean I don't exactly know him / like him plus he has a girlfriend. Should I just say I'm really busy at the moment? Help!

Thanks for all the advice, in the end, my first message said I would be really busy for a while with exams coming up and all (not a lie and I was hoping he'd get the hint) but when he replied asking about after exams I decided to be honest and say while I don't mind messaging you, I don't really hang out with guys in person (which is true) because I don't really approve of it in high school (there's so much else to focus on) and he seemed to understand :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't lie. I would not say you are busy at the moment because he will take that as "Just wait a few days and ask her again". Just be honest are say I am really flattered but I am not interested in a relationship but we can be friends if you want.

    Also I see you are from my country to.

    • Yeah, I didn't consider that he might take it as try again later sign... it's really awkward because I know he has a girlfriend but some of the stuff he says to me is borderline flirting, but if I said what you suggested I feel he would just pull the 'I have a girlfriend' card and turn it back on me! I don't mind him messaging me as much (I can put up with that) but I don't fancy hanging out with him in person :/

      Whoo! Another Kiwi! Haha

    • Show All
    • Your welcome. :)

    • Thank you for mha

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What Guys Said 6

What Girls Said 5

  • Just tell him the truth as gently as possible. I don't know why he's so interested in hanging with you if he has a girlfriend. Looks like he's not the faithful sort.

    • Ok thanks, yeah :/ he said there's been problems with him and her family etc so I'm wondering if he's going to break up with her. I thought the same thing.

  • Yes. By paying him a compliment and reassuring him that just because he's not the guy for you that doesn't mean there isn't a wonderful girl out there for him.
    Be CLEAR!

  • Just say no. It won't break his heart so as long as you're not rude it's not a big deal

  • Tbh, its forever subjective :P

    In MY life, most guys get hostile + angry no matter how nice I am
    They keep trying... constantly :(

  • There's not really a nice way to do it. The nicest way though would be to keep telling him you're busy until he stops messaging you.

    • Yeah, I had a feeling there wouldn't be a nice way to do it :/. It's a tempting suggestion haha but probably not the best solution, thanks for the help :)