Me and my girlfriend got into a pretty hefty argument last night. It really escalted and she began to scratch me and hit me so i pushed her to the floor. When i did that all of a sudden her tone changed and she was like "ok please don't hurt me, i'm sorry". I just pushed her, i did not do anything to hit her. I'am not happy with what i did regardless.
So before she left last night she said sorry for what she did and i said sorry for pushing her. She seemed pretty sympathetic. Today she won't answer her phone or texts. We've been together for 3 years and we barely argue but this was a big one. Would you girls stay with a guy who done this (take my sitiation into account)? I'am just worried cause she's not answering her phone
I've had a past relationship where an argument has gotten out of hand like this. Its not right for her to put hands on you and I commend you for not hitting her back. It takes a lot of self control to not do it and I understand that you do feel bad for it, but she is playing the victim when she was the first to strike. All in all this isn't a healthy relationship, I would give yourself, not her, some time to truly evaluate the relationship, then try to talk to her when things are cooled down. Even if you guys haven't argued like this, she still put her hands on you.
If I were in her position there would be a lot of things I would be processing right now.
1. I believe in the "eye for an eye" thing. I would think that yeah, I totally had a shove coming when I decided to act like an animal.
2. Although I would have had it coming, I would have been angry that you reacted that way. I would have also been angry at myself for having behaved in a way that brought on the push. So there'd be equal blame in my mind for that.
3. I would be considering if the relationship was worth it.
4. If what we were arguing about was so important that we got physical, is it not important enough to merit a break up?
5. If I could push us to the point of physical anger once, who's to say it won't happen again and you or I won't be able to stop ourselves before we actually hurt each other?
6. If I accept that chancing it is something I am willing to do, what happens when we fight about something more serious and one of us ends up severely hurt?
So... yeah. I'm torn. If a fight I had ended up like that I'd probably walk away. And I understand the decision process since I'm also in a multi-year long relationship.
I would be spending a lot of time thinking about it though. A lot of time. It'd be one thing if he pushed me when I didn't do anything - that'd be an instant break up. It's a more complicated thing when I also got physical and got physical first. I would be angry at myself for causing the entire situation, but I now would know that he also will react physically and I would seriously be thinking about the future fights we'd have and if, since fighting in a relationship is guaranteed, being with him is worth chancing injury.
wow... she obviously regrets what she did, but that was very wrong of her of course. she most likely isn't answering her phone because she's still too angry at herself to talk to u.
honestly, i would take into account if he pushed me out of character or if this is an underlying violent behaviour he has. I'm sure i wouldn't break up unless i knew this was gonna become something consistent or if it outweighed all his positive traits.
If she hit you and scratched and all you did was push her off you, technically you were doing what you could to get away from her.
Now considering I would never do any of what you girlfriend did, if a man suddenly pushed me to the ground out of nowhere and in anger, yes not only would I break up but I would be filing assault charges.
If someone pushed me to the ground I would break up with him. But I wouldn't have been scratching or hitting him in the first place so I hope it would never get to that point. This sounds like a bad situation. I'm sorry, I don't know what will happen. Would you have pushed her if she had not been scratching and hitting you? Because if not, then you are definitely both at fault and I don't know if you can work past that or not, but it might be possible if you both apologize sincerely.