Many people talk about dating and going on dates in general as if it's something one CHOOSES to do. They'll advise you to "go on dates". When I bring up my complete lack of dating experience, many cite examples of people who either a) did not take the initiative in trying to get dates, b) neglected romantic/sexual opportunities for whatever reason and as a result are inexperienced, or c) are not even close to inexperienced as I am themselves.
What amazes me is how few of these people are legitimately in the same position as me - someone who has honestly tried in the past to put himself out there and asked out quite a few girls, watched like a hawk for opportunities and still did not detect a single one, has not even received mixed signals or a single indication even of interest thus far, and did not even manage to make platonic friends with a girl. My absolute and complete inexperience is not at all voluntary (practically).
Yet people treat "going on dates" or "dating" as if it's a voluntary thing people do. Well then - enlighten me. What should have I done to "go on dates"? Again, I initiated conversations with many girls in the past and asked out quite a few from my school in the past. The problem is that my specific school environment completely rejects me socially due to a scarred reputation from the past, so that's not a viable option at all. I've also only had a few friends in general over the years and have lived an extremely sheltered life in general. I've never even needed a curfew thus far and I'm almost 18. I went out with some acquaintances a few times last year, but that is all. This makes it extremely difficult for me to even meet girls outside of school as I the very few friends I have are not good candidates themselves in causing me to meet other people outside of high school.
I'm looking to get a job in the near future and recently got my driver's license. What exactly am I supposed to do to simply start going on dates?
Besides, many people are clearly going on dates voluntarily as an active choice on their part. So this doesn't seem like a valid example of "late bloomer". This isn't an involuntary delay in development.
Shyness or lack of initiative is also a form of "choice".
Most Helpful Girl
In high school, dating is significantly harder for the people who don't have many friends or aren't part of a group. Being 17 and inexperienced is not an uncommon thing, so I hope ya don't feel alone in your situation or lose hope.
- Maybe try to approach girls who aren't really "out there" socially, like the shy or quiet, nice girl types.
- You could also join clubs and get involved to increase your chances of meeting new people.
- You said so yourself that you may have a "reputation" at your school for whatever reason, so maybe try to approach girls outside of school as well, like at the mall, a restaurant (you can write your number on the check if a waitress seems into you), or some local event.
- I think the best and easiest way to meet girls (and guys) is through friends, so maybe try to hang out more and go places with the few friends you do have, or make new friends.
- You could also give online dating apps a shot.
In the meantime, try to stay positive and busy. Work towards becoming the best version of yourself -- both physically, personality-, and goal-wise and I think things will fall into place eventually. This is all coming from a girl who was never approached in high school and didn't go on her first date until the summer after senior year.
Life, for me at least, got a lot better after high school. You get a complete fresh start (who you were in high school doesn't matter once you graduate), and are able to focus on doing what you want to do, whether that's going to school, working, etc.4
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Most Helpful Guy
Do everything you can to get outside of the house... the issue with living sheltered is that u don't expose yourself to many people.
Lockup the activity calendar in your city or town, and sign up for some activities. Go for walks around you neighborhood and various neighborhoods. Explore your area.
Being out and about doing stuff, is how you experience life and meet people... including girls. ;-)1