Why Are Women Bad At Choosing Men?

I am not trying to generalize or be an ass-hat here. Don't get me wrong... there are a lot of women out there that know a good man when they see one... but lately... I've been hearing stories (from women) about some of the men they were dating... and it's like... really?

Lately... when I've been talking to and meeting women, I ask them about their last relationship and it is ALWAYS the same:

-He cheated on me with another woman

-He had a sidechick and had a baby with her

-He cheated on me with my best friend

-He was verbally and emotionally abusive

How do women end up with men like this? And why is it always the same stories?


0|0
27|20

Most Helpful Girl

  • How are you supposed to know a guy is going to cheat on you, unless he has done it before and it's a well known fact?
    How are you supposed to know a guy will verbally or physically abuse you when he acts all sweet and innocent at first? Do you really think guys approach girls, slap them in the face and the girl is all like OH SWOON HE HIT ME! Of course not. Abusers fake a good persona until they've trapped you. Then they slowly warm you up to the abuse with only small signs, signs that you can brush off or make up excuses for. Then it goes to hell from there, in small steps. Abusers wouldn't successfully be able to trap and abuse someone if they weren't fake as shit at first.
    Girls end up with the wrong guys because these guys lie, fake and make shit up to make you like them. Then when you like them and it's too late, they will start showing their true selves.
    Girls aren't stupid for falling for assholes. Assholes are just good manipulators. Anyone can be manipulated and it's not the girls' fault.

    0|2
    0|1
    • by listening to frinds and family and by remember what 1 Corinthians verse 33 says.

Most Helpful Guy

  • it is because women have no true sense of value anymore. i blame feminism for it. women were well respected half a century ago, and ofcourse they have the same rights as we do, they should be able to vote, or study etc.. but it has gone to far. women are constantly being told that they can handle the world, no they can't, neither can men ! women feel so powerful these days, just check how serial killers get letters from female fans, and those aren't desperate girls either, no good looking ones as well. its because they feel powerful if they are in a relationship with an abusive agressive men, they feel like if they can controll an inidividual like that, that they are more powerful. but they never can, eventually the facade will come down and these guys take over. i've been dating 4 girls, 3 of them single moms. i have never seen that many single mothers and all 3 the fathers were either liars , cheaters, criminals or selfish pricks. so far i haven't crossed a decent women, im now seeing a good looking girl , but i dont know. even she acts weird in my opinion, 2 days ago we had oral sex, i bourhgt her home, she texts me she had a good time, and 4 hours later, in the middle of the night she would be commenting other guys their pictures on how she liked those pictures and stuff. it never crossed my mind to start texting other girls. i just need a girl who respects me, and the things i do for her. and trust me i can stand up for myself, and i would even stand up for my girlfriend or my family. and maybe im not the typical agressive guy, but if you touch the people i care about, dont even remotly think i will let you get away with it, but im not the type of guy whos is going to cheat to his girl.

    1|3
    4|0
    • You, sir, have proved my point. You said:

      "i have never seen that many single mothers and all 3 the fathers were either liars , cheaters, criminals or selfish pricks"

      You're right. Where I live it... it seems everyone is a single mom... all these young women. I ask them about their guy... and they say pretty much the same thing you did.

      You also said;
      "4 hours later, in the middle of the night she would be commenting other guys their pictures on how she liked those pictures and stuff."

      Same... I've met girls who claimed to have fun and expressed interest in seeing me again... only to pull shit like this.

    • A lot of women want respect... but they don't know how to earn it.

    • well its an experience i would rather not share with you, kind of sad seeing all these single moms, and when you check out the fathers, you think to yourself, how can people like this even reproduce. my recent ex girlfriend, well she has a 4 yo daughter, really nice kid, liked that little girl , and her dad is a douchebag who thinks he is kurt cobain, dude sleeps in a bed, while his little girl sleeps on a matras on the floor, whenever she stays over. i tried to be a good men for both of them, but either i got taken granted for, or she would criticize me. I've learned that its better to be a bit more reserved and not take to much effort, only if i truly know i ve found my soulmate, else fuck them. im to nice to keep hanging around with people like that, wow, nice i have been having sex now 4 different women in less then a year, im looking for a women not a sex partner

What Girls Said 26

  • Why Are Women Bad At Choosing Men?
    Likely because guys often do not comes with warning labels. I find most guys tend to put on a front to attract a gal and once she is emotionally invested he reverts to true form. Guys have a complete industry PUA based on manipulation and deception... it is reasonable to me to guess guys often lie about who they are and their intentions.

    Plus I find gals are seemingly often conditioned to ignore red flags lest they be called picky, stuck up, shallow. For example a gal doesn't want to date a jobless guy may be called a golddigger but when said guy is a deadbeat it becomes you knew he was jobless. Or a gal wants to end things when a guy makes a misogynistic/sexist comment she is called overemotional, humorless, making a mountain out of one mistake, feminazi, etc but when he becomes abusive it is well he did said X.

    4|1
    0|0
  • There's a simple reason for that. People are no longer taught how to have a relationship with anyone anymore. There is sex education but no relationship education. So what they see and hear online appears normal. People being abusive and aggressive hiding behind a keyboard or porn making out women are often worthless pieces of meat cheap and replaceable

    2|1
    0|1
  • Because those people share a common trait: manipulative. They act like the best kind of guy in the world to mask their obvious "flaws."

    2|1
    0|0
  • Maybe because we're teaching girls that they need men to make them happy and to set their sights low and we're teaching boys that girls are there for them to do whatever they like with...
    Just a suggestion, and I agree, you see it a lot and a lot of women pick good guys too, so it's difficult to pick out one single reason...

    0|1
    0|0
  • Some women have low self esteem, and ignore any red flags because the guy is able to make them feel good about themselves, they stay because they think this is the best they can do or for the validation (because they suck at being alone).

    Some women just straight out suck at seeing the red flags.

    Some were just unlucky enough to have their first real relationship be a dysfunctional one, so they think bad behaviors like the ones you mentioned or the behaviors that lead up to that are normal.

    And some just get tricked, cause the dude is that manipulative.

    I'm sure there are more reasons, but those are the ones i can think of.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Same reason men choose bad women who will cheat or have men and babies on the side.
    Some people are good at covering up their shittiness, some think that hey can change an asshole, some people can look past a shitty personality because the person is good looking or rich, some people feel like they can't leave for the threat of being beaten or hated or whatever

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because most of these asshats are mighty charming and knows how to win a girl's heart.

    Just switch it the other way around and ask yourself: how can so many men fall victim to gold diggers?

    Living in thailand, I often hear stories about white guys who met a local girl at a bar, he fell madly in love with her only to then get his heart broken after she cleaned up his bank account, took their child together and left him with nothing.

    I always ask myself the same question: how could these men be so incredibly stupid?

    0|1
    0|0
  • So what you're saying is you're choosing to date or be around women who have made relationship decisions in the past and you can't figure out why?
    Interesting

    2|2
    0|1
    • Exactly. I can be at the mall, at church, in class... doesn't matter... when I talk to women and they open up about their past relationship, it's usually the same story.

    • Show All
    • it worked. Point is, what kind of sample you use matters, a lot. And there's no way around. No doubt about it.
      So people who choose a bad subset often get whiny about the results they get, like you two, when it's really their fault. Out of all possible women you choose the ones that have bad relationships. No one to blame here but themselves, the army realized that and they imrpoved what they were doing

    • Lol. I didn't need the lecture in statistics. You could have fast forwarded to the part where you said the sample wasn't random enough.

      Then again, every woman I speak to is a boring bitch, so thanks for trying. Are you a programmer by any chance?

  • Sounds less like a "women in general" thing and more like a "women you talk to" thing. How old are these women? Where are you meeting them?

    2|0
    1|0
  • Usually you don't realise someone's a jerk until you're in too deep. These people don't reveal their horrendous flaws on the first or even 10th date. It's down the line when stuff gets bad and you've already got feelings for them. That's how manipulative people work unfortunately. Usually when we realise how bad it is, it's difficult to walk away.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I guess because I didn't realize it was a bad situation until it was too late. The guy I was with was a player I came to realize and wasn't very serious about us. But I was too inlove to walk away and was determined to fix things. I eventually had to run as it was a bad situation and I couldnt deal with the emotional abuse he put me through.

    0|1
    0|0
  • That's I simply don't chose by playing it safe 😂 and I end up single for ever😋

    0|1
    0|0
  • because it looks different from the begging. they are usually very attractive, a lot of people likes them or he is the coolest guy in the group of people we are going out with, clever, with style, knows how to speak to a woman, how to make her see he has feelings under the hard shell too... and we fall in love thinking we are special especially when he have chosen us,,, Sometimes we think we could play the game better and in the end we fall inlove and get hurt..:)
    I haven't known any attractive (according me) good guy till now , I am 25. But I am very picky so it depends from the girl.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "I am not trying to generalize or be an ass-hat here."

    makes a bunch of generalizations and is in fact an asshat.

    that first sentence was obviously irrelevant because you did the opposite

    0|0
    0|1
  • Because we don't understand men I think

    0|0
    0|0
  • If men are like this then there will be unlucky women who end up with them for a variety of reasons, often for fear of being alone some would rather but up with an idiot.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't choose them, they choose me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • guys who act bad can be sexy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • and I agree with other answers. people who pick partners like that are usually that way themselves anyway.

  • Women aren't bad at choosing men. It's just that we have a tendency to go for what we are use to. Some women go for what they want and not what they need...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because men like that don't initially behave this way. They put on a huge front and then a woman finds out he's horrible. It happened to me. Just started back dated a few years ago and it's been horrible. I'm learning all over again.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Some can, some can't. It's the same with men. Most people are drawn to situations that mimic their childhood in some way. If girls are in happy relationships, they won't likely go on and on about them. That's just his humans are. We tend to talk about stuff that's bothering us more than stuff that's going well.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because most 'men' are just bad PERIOD. These dudes pretend to be good guys, the girls fall for it because he's pretending, he use the women, then dump her. Happens all the time. The woman is blamed though even though the guy was pretending to be a good guy

    0|0
    0|1
    • Yes, we're at fault because women chose douchebags over "lame" nice guys.

      K

    • @Surfofthenomad Are you deaf? She's not choosing the 'douchebags' over anyone douchebag pretended to be a good guy. Learn to read correctly

  • A lot of women are desperate, so they choose whoever is available

    0|1
    0|0
  • OK so you meet a few women and then you assume all women are bad at choosing men? Way to make ignorant generalizations. The same thing could be said about men. http://cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/37399862.jpg

    0|0
    0|2
  • Low self esteem, insecurities, and "blinded by love" can affect people (for both genders). My ex started shoving me and tried to hit me, I kicked him out of my home so fast. He was a "nice guy" but had a temper I didn't know about or really witness until after we moved in together.

    0|2
    0|0
  • It happens to both genders. Guys will go for someone who is hot but then they get screwed over because she turned out to be a crazy bitch.

    5|4
    0|1

What Guys Said 19

  • 1. Sometimes it's a result of the woman having bad judgement when it comes to selecting a man. This is most likely a result of them falling so much in love with one specific trait of a guy that they disregard the other bad traits. Example: A girl falling in love with a guy because he's so damn sexy and tall that she ignores the fact that he treats her like garbage on a daily basis.

    2. The other times, it can be because some guys are just good actors/manipulators. Telling a girl what she wants to hear and doing certain things that makes her feel good about herself isn't a hard task to do, especially if the guy is a pro at manipulation and being sociable.

    3. The other and final reason for why this can occur is because the guy turned bad during the relationship. A girl falling in love with a good who then turns into a bad one during the relationship isn't the girl's fault. However, I'm skeptical on this reason because a person just doesn't make a 180 out of nowhere and turn bad overnight. Which makes me believe that they were also a manipulator/actor (see reason 2) from the very beginning.

    4|2
    0|0
  • "How do women end up with men like this? And why is it always the same stories?"

    The issue is that a lot of guys will lie about their intentions to a woman. Because they know that if they tell the girl that they only want sex from her that their chances of getting it aren't going to be that good, right?

    So with that being said most guys act like the "man of the world" at the beginning of things in their R-ship with ___ all in order to reel the girl in, right? And once they get what they want they say fuck her... time to show my true colors I'm guessing.

    i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

    2|0
    2|0
  • Because women tend to look for the wrong qualities in men. Rather than appreciating a good personality and faithfulness, they would rather go for the tall, the rich, the handsome, and the alpha. And if these guys turn out to be assholes they whine and moan about how hard it is to find a boyfriend.

    2|2
    2|0
  • Women in the first world believe they have zero responsibility for relationship problems because the vast majority of women here can never admit they're wrong or at fault. This leads to them being shitty girlfriends and blaming all their problems on men.

    0|0
    0|0
  • A lot of them are. They fall for attractive smooth talkers who make their panties wet. In all fairness, guys make bad choices because of beautiful women too. They'll blow loads of money on girls who they barely know and then complain how they were used 😂

    People always put high intelligence on a pedestal but the most important things are looks and conversational skills.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's because women are like children. Without the patriarchy to curb their destructive tendencies they've been free to wallow in their self absorption.

    FACT. Women were happier before Feminism.

    Go ahead and try to disprove me.

    0|2
    4|0
    • you LIAR!! my relatives from those days hated those days!! your an evil sexist liar!

  • Sounds like you're attracted to damaged women right now for some reason. If it's the same story with every girl you meet.

    3|0
    1|0
  • Isn't it more like why are men ruining relationships?

    4|0
    1|0
    • good point. all of the asker's examples do have to do with men acting terribly. I didn't realize that.

  • Why are men bad at choosing women?

    2|1
    1|0
  • Yes, you're right but I am not sure why it happens like this. It's strange.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Cuz women LUV the jerky bad boi type who made them feel like trash cuz that is considered 'fun' to them. Being nice to them and they will take u for granted cu u appear 'boring' to them. Plain and simple 👌🏼

    0|2
    5|0
  • I don't know man. But I think they got a good strategy. They always got someone by their side. I want a girl by my side, too. I don't care if she cheats on me, I'm a sideman, or she verbally and emotionally abuses me. I just want to have sex with someone and if I have to put up with those flaws, then so be it. I don't believe in a perfect girl. But I do believe in synergy. I want a girl who I can get along with.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Agreed, I've seen so many women choose bad guys - and the worst part they also dont leave easily when they do find out later on - they 'try' to make it work at all costs

    0|1
    3|0
  • Good question but I think it's because they choose the confident bad boy over the good guy. They choose the bad boy because they think they can change them.. and that he will be bad to everyone except them. But that is not true most of the time..

    1|1
    1|0
  • They fall too quickly for the 'instant gratification' of the confidence and assertiveness (often disguised to actually be aggressive or cocky.)

    0|0
    2|0
  • Plenty of women choose good men.

    Those women are not single, hence not going out on first dates with you.

    Look the reality is, people can usually judge if someone is attractive in an instant, it takes slightly longer to find out if you get along, and longer still to find out if the person is actually messed up or a jerk but hiding it.

    What do you expect the reason someone's single to be, they realized 6 months in 'wait a minute, this person is really ugly!'?

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're probably too much of a pussy to handle the answer..

    2|0
    1|3
  • I think they just exaggerate how bad the relationship was. When it ends most some blame the guy for 100 percent of the problems so she feels better about herself.

    1|2
    3|0
  • We are ruled by our instincts to a much greater degree than we admit or are even aware of. There are two main strategies for a woman to get her genes into the next generation and beyond. One is to link them up with a caring guy who will nurture and protect the family giving them a better chance of survival. The other is to mix them with a hot guy who sleeps around with lots of women. that way her male children might inherit the promiscuous genes and continue the spreading. They are basically the carefully nurtured small garden and the spread the seed far and wide and hope some of it grows strategies. There are deeply seated instincts which drive women to one or other or both of these.

    1|2
    1|0
Loading...